RANDOM SHOTS

Auckland Star, Volume XLII, Issue 137, 10 June 1911, Page 16

RANDOM SHOTS

By Zamiel

80.i.r write a neighbour's name to lash, 80n,.' write vain. liougl.l for needful cash, wme write m please 11.c country clasn, And raise .1 din. Fur mc, an aim I never fash—• I write fer I'm:. 4444444444 So we are not going to have i.nr lunuel du|>lii3.l<xl ui't.-r all. There i- nm much B.'lliaflU !.'il)ll ill -.i.v 'lILT "1 I'd! yoll so under sii.M eir. uui-lanees: but "Za.niel'' has .1 very distin.-i leeolleei imi of remarkin-, when >:r Joseph Ward tif-i suggested his now hUtorii~.il "ei'iiuni .lice of ten represeirtatile citizens" that it w.uil-J lie quiii- easy for 1 iovcnurteiit 1 . find a way out. of the dillicultv when tho time came. No .loubt our Premier's knowledge of human nature taught him that it would bo impossible (n gel ten men in Aijekland to .ijrr in any subject that he liked to propose, of course, it i- not a fair answer: I mean to say Mr. Millar is only quibbling when he says t hat he w-ou't irtake the tunnel l>ocau-c ni.i.v -even and not le:i men have uske.l him 1.0 do ii. li.it when he say- that 1... can't afford to nuke it iie is -urely trying to impose upon our innocence an I inexperience. Doe- he really fumy that we don't know what it has .-0.-t 1., make lunuel- 011 t iio IMosgiel duplication! Ah. well. Mr. Millar, you hail from the South. -o 1 suppose 1 you can't help it. lint, this -~|-f of thing ; helps one to understand why the South- i mi paper- are so anxious thai we in tho N«>rth Island shall jh>l hr.vo nil the I members that we are entitled to by our 1 superior numbers, and why -..me of ti.em have just disco rercd for the first, time.) in our history that population is not 1 ho j [right basis-for I'ailiamcutary representation. 4444444444 I like a,government that is really consistent and thorough-going, and so 1 felt immensely impressed by that cablegram ' the other day which told us how th.' ] French Republic had just "dealt it out". to an old w 01.1 a v sentenced for infringing' •the Stale toluieco monopoly. She had heen making Up cigarette-, poor "Id thing, out oi" scraps of tobacco, ami ,-ell-j ing them at the rate of a few pence a day to eke 01.1 he.- miserable earnings.; Well, the French Republic realises very clearly that it you pas- a law you ought -to enforce it, ami that, ii you own a monopoly y-ou ought to defend it. and that, you can't afford to be sentimental about" old women who are misguided enough to 'be poor and immoral enough to make cigarettes. So, .1 French judge, 1 pitting in a French Court of .lu-tioc —-I mark the word —duly sentenced this; shocking -miscreant to a line of just i about £.1000 sterling, aud in default two! years" imprisonment. Very likely this, deplorable old reprolwte had never! dreamed of 120,000 francs before-, at' least, it is very doubtful if -he could imagine such a sum of money all at once, and she couldn't earn it out of piratical cigarettes in 5000 years. Rut there you are! —".fustice mu.-t be done, though the Heavens fall!" Really. I xv-,.s quite sorry lor France when 1 read that cable. "0 Liberty! what crimes arc committed in thy name." 4444444444 My experience of books written by women, hs, generally speaking, that they haven't a keen sense of humour. At all events they don't generally display much ability in the direction of retailing successful auecdotes. and 1 therefore cheerfully a-cknowlcdgc twn distinctly good jokes which somebody has kindly pointed ■out to mc in a book just written by Mrs. Frnzer, the lady who some years ago produced that delightful work '"A Diplomatist's Wife in Japan." The first. is about a Yankee who. on being presented to Leo XIIL, seized the Pope's hand, shook it heaj-tily. and in his earnest desire to propitiate, his Holiness, and to show himself equal to the occasion, remarked: ".Sir, 1 am glad to meet, you. I knew your father, the Jute Pope, well." The other story is about quite a different person —Yon Moltke. That stern old warrior was, of course, a Dane by birth, and ho strongly disapproved of the invasion of his country when Bismarck insisted on attacking it in ISO 4. However, he went to the front with the Iron <:ItartceliloT, and in due course they got to the town where Yon .M.oltke had lived as a l>ny. He knew every slreet and house in it well, and 'he looked on in gloomy silence while Bismarck made his arrangements for billeting the troops. "Tluit is a. fine house." said the Chancellor, at last, pointing to the biggest building in the town. ""I will take up mv quartoTS there." Yon Moltke roused himself from his sombre reverie. "Ah. yes," he said, looking at the towering pile, "very suitable, very appropriate, (I'm sure; that's the State prison."

iiiiiiiiiiWhat a very valuable citizen is the ! Reverend 11. Mason, of Otaliuhu! Everybody in New Zealand who takes the trouble to follow the news of the day intelligently ought to know by this 'time that the reverend gentleman possesses in an extraordinary degree thai Remarkable family for detecting Die presence of subterranean spring.-, and water courses which has been exhibited at various times and places l, v a lew individuals ! at all stages of th,- world's history. By ! the way, 1 know that certain people who i think that the only truly .-eieuiitic atti- I tude is to refuse to believe iv the existence of anything you ,- ;ln 't exnluin will regard mc as a u oxceedinglv credulous and superstition- person f„ r „ v ,nving unfair in water-divining. However it is I not my fault that men who ~„.'.],i t , know better are to,, obstinate .11 . i ' the trouble to enlighten their, , w i,' ' anee on the subject. To e,„„e b„4- ",,l th. Rev. H. y li(S(m . ~„ ™ ;" ;> I recognised as an expert "dowser' - I Plain* Wtoriunt Tr™ Im ."v with marked sue.-c- Well' ~ "" «.«t Mr. Mason can 1, ' , .t^ uater but gold. am , m . '* ' '> but I dent know what experience he la had-radim„. This l .... ' , ' "'" , ! -HI sound like absolute" I™T I-ple 1 have a l rr ., (lv mo " n » Will never admit that u.vtlnn., *>hle that they have,,'', 'n "" 7> "-" understand. Of e„ ur P „„ !^'" " r """ r a satisfactory exnlannti',; <a " RIVC Powers; hu l they P \ '" a /T' WCUk And what I wi-i, , exlst all 'he same. S*. Mr Mnaiw, to re ™iark is that if Ifik -»ia«on can find ,mi i ■y fls he C a n fin ,,, ? old as aeeuratelv ■ *™<\\ if » abou". m™\ turned on J?T H menl of Minos W what WM'<mJ OU r m fortunes of m toast P.rod.u<jtiv Qia^t and