PERSONAL ANECDOTES.

Auckland Star, Volume XLI, Issue 16, 16 July 1910, Page 14

PERSONAL ANECDOTES.

PEEN"CE EDWARD'S HISTORY LESSON. Prince Edward of Wales had great ideas on the subject of history. While being examined -on the reign of Henry VII. he was asked, "Who was Perkin Warbeck?" His reply was: "Perkin Warbeck was a pretender. He pretended he was the son of a king; but he wasn't. He was the eon of respectable parents." A DARING BOY.

A splendid type of the cool, intrepid Englishman is Mr. Grahame-White, ■whose aerial exploits nave aroused so much enthusiasm. FeaT seems to be unknown to him. At Bedford Grammar School, where he was educated, he became one of the most daring and successful cyclists. Indeed, he used to win so many prizes at the school sports in the bicycle races that in the end he was prohibited from entering for these contests. Then again, when he was thirteen, he and his elder brother, Montague, becoming possessed of a small motor-ear, set off for a fortnight's tour in the North of England during the summer holidays, without saying a word to anyone. A3 Mrs. GTahamieWhite —the aviator's mother, who is his constant companion—truly says, "For a boy it. wae a wild and somewhat daageroue adventure, bat he came back smiling and full of he&'th and spirits, and was forgiven." HIS MOTHER'S CRITICISM. Several good stories are related by Mr Sigismund Goetz, the famous painter. He once painted his own portrait. "I designed it as a birthday surprise for my mother, but one day left it exposed in the studio instead of, as usual, covered up. Of course, my mother chose that very afternoon to call, and. equally of course she 'spotted' .the portrait. 'Who is that?' she said. 'Oh, a man I've been painting,' I replied, instantly feeling several sizes smaller—a shrinkage which continued almost to vanish-ing-point when my mother, after another look at the picture, said severely, 'Why do you waste your time on such uninteresting people?'" On another occasion a gushing lady, after inspecting a large picture, beside which was a photograph of it, exclaimed, "Oh, Mr. Goetz, you are so clever! It's simply wonderful! How ever you could paint such a largo picture from such a small photograph is more than I cai understand!"

THE HUMOUR OF THE INTERRUPTIiID SENTENCE. lord Palmerston once made some vexy effective pauses when electioneering. He ■was greatly troubled by a man. who wished him to support a certain measure that went against his party's policy. At last the troublesome man brought his worrying tactics to a head by demanding: ** Lord Palmerston, will you or will you not give mc a plain anevrer to a plain question ?" "I will." " Will yon, or mil yon not support this measure?" Lord Palmerston, -with a twinkle in hi:: eye, at once Teplied : " I -will"—here he paused, wirile his polrMcal opponents burst into wild cheers—'not," continued his lordship, pausing again wkile his own followers put the former cheering to shame in their applause—"tell you!" Whereat he promptly retired.

Some years ago a famous lecturer went to New York, to lecture on '" Fools." He was introduced to the audience by a bishop, -who began:— " Ladies and gentlemen, we are now to have a lecture on ' Fools' by one of the most distinguished"—loag pause and loud laughter—" men of Chicago." But the lecturer rose to the emergency. " Ladies and gentlemen," he began, " I am not so great a fool as the bishop," long pause and uproarious laughter— " would have you think! ;>

SURPRISING THE OFFICER, Signor Carducei, the great Italian poet, who died some time ago, came near having a duel one day, according to a writer In " Le Cri de Paris." The poet possessed a toe spirit of contradiction and had the characteristics ol a fighter. Once when travelling in Lornbardy he was in a railway compartment with an army officer who did not recognise him. Conversation turned upon the latest literary productions. They spoke of a poem by the author of " Odes Barbaras," which had just appeared. " This Carducei," exclaimed the officer, with enthusiasm, "is a superb genius! The greatest since Dante—the equal of Dante himself!" 'Humpli!" responded the other. "A genius! That's too much to say. I find him mediocre." "Mediocre, sirt You don't know anything a;bout it?" " Oh, you are incapable of judging." "I?" " You!" " Sir!" "Sir!" The officer, quite prepared to make good bis word with his sword, handed his card to the disputant. The othes smiled. "There's mine!" On it was the name, "Giosue Oarducci, professor at the University of Bologna." Tie officer, removing his hat, bowed politely, and then both men laughed.

LORD KITCHENER. Lord Kitchener—indeed lie is a man, observes the "World." An iron-willed, hard-jawed, impervious person ("person" doesn't suit him—"brute" would, but it sounds so ruda, even though it were adjectived by "nice.") Think of all the stories that have been told about him —how vrhen he says "G-o." there is no lingering; a raised eyebrow; and his men quiver; a lifted finger moves a regiment. Does he grieve or does he 6neer at the many hands and hearts (feminine) that have been proffered him? Thu stories in India alone of attempts made •by personages great and small to claim him as a relative-in-law would fill a book. His very grimness and elusivenesa make him all the more fascinating. A near relative of a high and mighty official in India thought she had made some impression on the iron soldier; her hopes ran highest in Poona, and she confidently looked for the fulfilment of her ambition at a dinner party given by Lord Kitchener to which she, as relative to the high official, had been invited.

Dear, oh dear, how excited that girl was on the night of that dinner! Her sense of humour caused her to tell some of her intimate friends afterwards of her chagrin when the great General, beyond a few ordinarily polite word 3of greeting, forgot her very existence, and shortly after dinner slipped away, leavinc his gueste to be entertained by his aide°-de-camg.