THE INQUEST.

Auckland Star, Volume XLI, Issue 142, 17 June 1910, Page 6

THE INQUEST.

WITH INTERLUDES. NEED FOR AN UP-TO-DATE MORGUE. The other day an inquest, invaded the waterside hostelry known as Gfleeson's Hotel, borrowed the ink, commandeered ajl the chairs on the ground flat except one in the office, and blocked the way to the dining-room. : Being near the morgue, this house of call frequently has the doubtful compliment of these periodic and semi-official irruptions. Last night the Auckland City Council had a letter from the licensee (Mr. T. J. Storey) complaining that he should have to put up with this sort of thing, particularly as he had not a great deal of space, and the room annexed 'by the inquest was the entrance to the diningroom.

"Another bit of evidence of the necessity for having a new.morgue," remarked the Mavo'r.

Mr. Casey: .He is not compelled to allow inquesfe to be held on his premises.

There wae some doubt as to this point till "the Town Cleric (Mr, H. W. Wilson) explained that a licensee was not compelled to provide accommodation for an inquest unless there was not a morgue •within three miles. As Gleeson's Hotel is not .a hundred yards from the little ■brick place now doing duty for a morgue it , is possible he may take the Council's ■hint and pass th"e next inquest on.

The peculiar, and undignified practice that prevails in Auckland of holding an official tJribuna-1 in a public houjse leads to interludes that would be amusing if the matter were. not one of life and death. For instance: "When did you last see the deceased, and'what was the state of his health r" "Love me and the world is mine." This is not answer and question, but before the witness can reply ■feo.the Coroner's query, the dulcet strains of the second housemaid, wielding a bass' broom in the yard, are wafted through the open window. Suddenly] while a triangulaT controversy 'is "being worried out by coroner, counsel and witness, with occasional help from the foreman of the jury, there is sound from the internal, economy of the hostelry like that which announces the fall of the ogre's castle in "DjinI?jin." " W'hang-whang-tang-tang-br-br-br-'biff!" It is the dinner-gong, and the evidence proceeds haltingly to the sound of tramping feet, and -shuffling chairs, and. even the coroner ias to put his -hande over his ears till the eruption dies down. And then you get something like this: "In your opinion, witness, what js the—" ■' " . ''.' "jSteak and opipns, soup two, and more' vegetables." -. "You s#y you cannot remember—r — ■" "Roast beef, plum pudding without, steak and kidney pie two, three in order, and four cups of tea.'- ,- "And what do you say if the other witnesses still persist in swearing that " "Irkh stew is orff!" (with the acqttt on. the "orff"). Anotjier instance: - -• . They are trying ix> get at the bottom of a mysterious fire out Newmarket way. It is a hot day and all the windows are up. The place sce/ns full of people, and, thie. carpejitiers are jn the 'hacjc yard. The hammering -ijrives . .ey,eryl>pdy - haltfrantic, and a man in iblue is sent oiit to try and induce tne carpenter to an to knock more softly, but the result is not gratifying. When the sound of the hammerer is stilled at long-dTawn intervals, the hiatus is filled in with a. small boy playing a tattoo on an empty tank -with a log of wood, and when he is hauled off, a laundress wajces the echoes of the 'back yard with the refrain to "IJedwing," and the gurgling notes lead One to suppose that the - coming Melba has her mouth full of clothes pegs. At •this stage of the proeeedings-rror' should one say the door opens denly, and a head is popped round the corner. "Hie owner (a sauey housemaid) collapses with surprise .when she sees the Topm full/ of men and police, and the door "bangs, to the accompaniment of a whole lot of feminine surprise, jcrystalised into an ''Oh!" that punctuates the proceedings like the bursting of a bicycle tyre. ' The irony of fate has put the jury in the room where the telephone hangs; and this ieads to refreshing interludes quite as funny as the gagging of George Lauri m his prime. A hefty young barman is called to the machine. The Coroner: "Would it be possible for the -fire to have started 'behind the st%jrs without ■ -•••■• rot! I can't get away till about .seven." ■ "Well, presuming that the facts are as you say,. how dp you, account fof $he fact —i—" "Go on. I seen you ithere!" The ibarman has the advantage of perhaps a- score lees years, and hia lung power is too much for the inqnestorial conversation, which has 'been conducted at about half. an ■ octave higher than usual during this breezy discussion, and flhe victory ends with the man of beer. ■ Still another instance, but not at ail amusing:' ■ • '. 4- girl with her hair down her back has, in a frenzy of shame and despair, done away with the babe she should never have had. Aβ though her troubje were not enough, she has to attend the inquest held in" the last place in the world one would have chosen for such a -scene, and she is dragged through the stare of publieity inseparable from a ■hotel and its surroundings. She is either compelled to remain in the stuffy little room where the jury, coroner, and witnesses arc crowded, and listen ,to : the painful details of her crime all over again, or else wait about the place, a?i abject of curiosity to all and sundry.

It is high time Auckland had a proper morgue.