WISE AND OTHERWISE

Auckland Star, Volume XXXIX, Issue 252, 21 October 1908, Page 6

WISE AND OTHERWISE

(By < { OLD SALT.")

A contemporary professes to have made a, discovery which can be described only as astounding. The speeches delivered by' political aspirants who have the Govern-: ment for sponsors, are not spontaneous, according pi tbis authority, but are made .in Wdlirigton, and cut off in lengths to j suit the candidates; some, of course, will go to any lengths. If the statement be [correct, there is a big temptation to ■write a little verse, but the only rhyme that oqcurs to mc is "animus" and "unani(mpus," winch I fear eventhe proof-reader would throw out. An'item from the " New s in Brief " column contains a blow to dear little Cupid: "A German inventor has patented) a new shirtfront made of enamelled tin plate." So I suppose— In ftrtnre, Cn.pid,will discard His arrows and his bow. Since through snch armour-plate, so hard, Old missiles will not go. But out upon the warpath, he Will not surrender life; He'll snare our consciences and hearts, With just a sardine knife. A college education is, according to Mr. Napier, an absolute necessity to a representative of the people in the House. This may be true, and if the linotype permitted italics, that word " may" Should be definitely marked, for the reason that learning does not become knowledge until it is properly digested and assimilated. The position might be putNow "knowledge" and "college" are excellent rhymes. This, statement, let who will oppose it; Bnt, bringing my latin right up to the times, "lis "experientia" that "docet." A. proposal is made that the curriculum of our schools should be extended so as to embrace demonstrations of the shocking effects of intemperance in regard to the cup which inebriates and the flowing bowl. It would be an excellent thing,to let these demonstrations be in the form of object lessons, and plenty of illustrations might be borrowed from Bell's Island from time to time, affording a, pleasant little outing for the "objects," from whom, by the way, we may expect something of this sort— Please acecpt this , explanation, What at pears intoxication, Is just a demonstration, For use in all State schools. Of the utter degradation. And the false exhilaration, Which though pleasant in sensation, Turns the. wisest men to fools. I was brc-ught from Pakatoa, . • In order iust to.show a Lot of school kids, what a goer On the drinking track becomes. But I had to wet 'my collar, Ann I'll bet you half-a-dollar, That etc!', and every scholar Locks on mc and Poole as chums. If those censors of public morals, who have been so busy lately among the books shops, find time hang heavily upon their hands pending the hearing of the appeals which have been entered, they might find work both congenial and useful in exposing and suppressing the pernicious rubbish which is supplied to boys under various enticing titles. Some of the penny comics (?), too, might be added to the list with advantage. SUch rubbish is doubtless productive of very great harm. Tbe foregoing reflections are prompted by a perusal of the report that more than a dozen little boys, ranging from eight to thirteen years in age, were presented before the magistrate this week, charged with theft, illegally entering, and similar or allied offences; and, wonderful to relate, each of them escaped without a birching. Perhaps Mr Kettle reflected, that, in addition to immoral.literature, there are printed, sheets which can only be described as demoralising; but a judicious selection from the twigs which fell before the pruning knife, and an energetic application -would demonstrate to those youthful minds what is meant by forbidden fruit. Dr Beatty was hardly letter-perfect when he stated that Paul in one of his Epistles bracketed together the sins of drunkenness and railing. The quotation, which for the information of a correspondent I may state occurs in I. Corinthians, 5, 11, runs "railer and drunkard," and refers to concrete offend ers, and not abstract Offences; and I want to know— A drunkard means one thing, bnt tell A simple-minded sailor. Is he who always rides a rail In politics, a "railer"? If so, a drunkard then may learn, From him some common-sense; Hear temperance news, ofttimes abuse. Yet never take "a-fence." At the last sitting of the Arbitration Court, a master painter declared that quite two-thirds of the workers were not competent, and an indignant tradesman, who knows that a sailor-man is as much at home with a paint-brush as with a mariinspike, put the position to me—"Why, blow -mc!" (they do that with the paint now °n big jobs through a nozzle, so the ejaculation from such a source, the painter, not the nozzle, has the force of an expletive.) "What they want a man to do nowadays is to spread the smallest quantity of paint on the biggest given area in the shortest possible time, —no hair-strokes, no finish, no nothing, and," with conviction, "Fll back my youngest kid and a knob of blue against the best of them at that game!" P.S.—The fact thai; each spot selected for the centre of the decorative artists' radius is in the immediate vicinity of an hotel, is perhaps not worth mention and I certfiinly do not intend to dwel' upon it, for the man will invariabV ftnd himself all adrift who cuts the painter. The people of Gisborne are to be congratulated upon the success of their Labour Day demonstration; but the striving after realism,, -which prompted the inclusion in one tableau of the killing and dressing of a. sheep, is carrying things a little too far perhaps for the audience,, certainly for the sheep. The P.B. (I am not sure whether these initials stand for "Poverty Bay" or "poor beast") Slaughterers' and Freezers' Union enacted this dramatic scene, and I ajn going to write an epitaph before they attempt things on a bigger scale. Turned into meat, -withont one bleat, And none to bid them "Nay!" That life to take, to merely make A Gisborne holiday! Times change, and manners with them 7- change, And. 'tis, not past belief,. Next year will' see a show more 'Strange. : ' -"—At nulter turned to beet,