PERSONAL ANECDOTES

Auckland Star, Volume XXXIX, Issue 249, 17 October 1908, Page 14

PERSONAL ANECDOTES

PULLED UP SHORT. Professor Charles Zeublin, of the University of Chicago, was reiterating at a dinner his belief that most American philanthropy failed of its object. " Many a philanthropist, his heart beating with love of his fellow man, would be pulled up with a round turn," said Professor Zeublin, "if he knew what really became of the last hundred or the last thousand that he gave to charity. " Yes, he would be taken as completely aback as the young man who said proudly to his girl in the moonlight: " Tell mc, my own, when did you first discover that you loved mc?" " 'When I found myself getting angry every time anyone called you a fool,' she replied." TIPPING A MONARCH. A good story is told of the King of Greece being offered a tip at Aix-les Bains —where he has been taking his annual cure. There was a large crowd roundi a gambling table one evening, when his Majesty entered alone and, unnoticed by anyone present, moved about among the strangers, and watched the play. He happened to get beside the moneychanger, who immediately recognised him, and offered him a seat, which the King accepted. An instant later a lucky gambler got up, and) after pocketing his winnings, wished to leave a " pourboire " for the employees, as is the custom. He threw a 20f. piece to the person sitting in the changer's chair, not knowing who he was. The King looked up, smiled, and handed him back the change. THE SNOBBERY OF GLADYS VANDERBILT. That wealth lins its disadvantages is exemplified by the unpleasant experiences in Hungary of Count Szechenyi and his bride, who was Miss Gladys VanderWlt. They have been mobbed in their hotels and' in the streets, and, in consequence, have had to seek police protection. It was while staying at an hotel that the countess, when a little girl, received a well-merited rebuke that taught her (says " Woman's Life ") a valuable lesson. One day she noticed! her father talking affably to a lady whom they had formerly known as one of the tradespeople. " Why, father," protested Miss Gladys afterwards. " fancy talking to that woman in a public hotel! Don't .you remember she used to sell us poultry?" "I do," responded her father, sharply, " of course I dK>, and 1 remember your mother when she sold root beer while I peddled oysters I 'way up in Jersey! " GETTING READY FOR MA. The way in which an OklaJiama editor announced that his mother was coming to visit him may seem a trifle breezy, but it is safe to say that there isn't a mother living who would not be glad to have her advent hailed with such genuine delight and pride. This is the way he spread l the glad tidings abroad: — The Editor of the " News Republican " is going to tog up a little this evening. Going to change collars and put on a pair of cuffs, ii we can find any. Going to get shaved, and, .going.. t° S 6 * our shoes shined and the pegs cut out, so we can walk right pertly. Ma's coming down to see us. You know who ma is? Ma is our only ma, and she's a good one, too —one of the old Ohio Quaker sort, you know. Ma ilves in Kinfisher. She was our ma when we were born; she was our ma out in Western Kansas when we hunted prairie coal; she was our ma when we drank parched corn coffee in old Oklahama in "89, and she's our ma now. She's the best ma we ever had. If you see us to-morrow walking down the street with a little woman with a smile on her face you'll know that's ma. If you never had a ma, you should get one —and one like our ma, too. MRS. CAIN. General Fitzhugh Lee. of Virginia, addressed the New Jersey Legislature a few dhys ago in connection with a commemorative c-elebration at the historic town of Jamestown. After his speech the conversation drifted to the early history of Virginia, and incidentally the matrimonial alliance between Captain John Smith and' Poeahontas. " I never discuss marriage," said General Lee, " without thinking of an old coloured preacher in my State who was addressing his dark-skinned congregation, when a white man rose up in the back of ■the building. "•Mr. Preacher,' said-the white man. " ' Sir to you.' said the parson. "' Mr. Preacher, you are talking about Cain, and you say he got married in the I-and of Nod after he killed' Abel. But the Bible only mentions Adam and Eve as being on the earth at that time. Who then, did Cain marry? Did he marry his mother?" " The coloured preacher snorted with unfeigned contempt. " ' Huh! ' he said. ' You hear dat. bredderen and' sisters? You hear clet fool question lam axed? Cain, he went to de land o' Xod. just as de Good Book tells us, and in de land o . Nod Cain gets so lazy an' so shif'less dot he up an' marries a pal o' one o' dem no-'eomit pore white trash families dat dfe inspired apostle didn't consider fittin' to mention in de Holy Word.'" TOUCHING STORY OF A BOY AND HIS PET MOUSE. Mr G. Ft. Sims ("Dagonet"). writing in the '"Referee," tells a pretty story of a boy and a mouse. The boy took a soat on the out-pati-ents bench at a hospital, and when interviewed by the matron asked if he might leave his pet brown mouse to be taken care of. "The matron shook her head. 'I don't think we can take charpe of a mouse that is in perfect health,' she said. «Oh! do! do!' pleaded the boy, 'I love my little mouse, and he loves mc. and I want it taken care of. Mother has gone away, I'm going away, and there will be no one to look lifter it.' 'Where is your mother gone?' asked the matron. 'She's been taken to tho hospital.' 'And where are you jroinfj?' The boy hesitated for a moment, then he said sadly. "To the workhouse, ma'am, and I'm afraid they won't let mc have lnv mouse there.' " The mouse was taken in as a non-pny-inc fruest. and two months later the boy arrived to claim his pet. "Mother's out of the hospital." he said, "and she's taken mc out of the workhouse." A fortnight later he appeared apain at the hospital and asked to see the matron. "A gentleman gave mc a penny this morning, ma'am." he said to her. "Please may I put it in your moneybox, because you were so kind to my dear little mouse t"