RANDOM SHOTS PIERROT ABROAD.

Auckland Star, Volume XXXIX, Issue 153, 27 June 1908, Page 14

RANDOM SHOTS

PIERROT ABROAD.

BY ZAMIEL"

It is HI speaking evil of dignitaries, especially if they happen to be, eminent ecclesiastics. But I can't'help .wishing that it was possible to keep bishops in proper order. Now, there is Bishop Neligan—l haven't the slightest doubt •that he means well, and that he is in-, spired by the highest possible motives. But what does he mean by telling the old folks at Home that we New Zealanders are pagans? Is it a fair thing, i ask, for a man in bis position, who is. sent Home to represent his part of the church at a big national'congress, to call us names in that depressing fashion? Of course, it wouldn't matter so much If the British public really knew something about us, and could discount the good bishop's remarks' for themselves. But in spite of the All Black tour, and all the other advertisements that, this country has received,, there are still (any iiui«i««..' of people at Home who believe that New Zealaaders are mostly black, and that they talk some strange and savage tongue. I was told the other day ori what seemed to be quite good authority 4hat an Englishman who got to be on quite intimate terms with the All Black "pro." -team, which has just returned, confided to some of them that "he and his friends had never expected to see them so white. Now, this is th'esort of person to whom Bishop Neligan exjrlams that we are (nearly all '"pagans" here. Next thing, we -will hear that the British Bugby-Union refuses to risk its valuable representatives . out here without a proper escort of Life Guards. Funny, isn't it? But they dem't know much better at Home.

But what does Bishop Neligau. mean by it, anyway? It seems to mc that we are a very good sort of people, looked at from the moral and religious standpoint,' I iriean. We go to church -pretty regu l larly—lots of us do; and we keep Sunday a great deal better than .most people at Home. lam very much afraid that the good Bishop is so anxious.to throw Etones at secular education that he doesn't particularly mind (what kind or eize they are. You see,'-it is all because of Our wicked secular system that we are But why .didn't the , good "bishop take the trouble; to wait tidhe bad a chance of learning something about the "real 'character of colonials - for himself, insteadhof theorising about them first.and trying to live up to Bis opinions afterwards? But as I began by saying,* bishops are* by no means easy to keep in order. Look at Julius of C"ttristchurch, for instance. He has just been accusing this unfortunate country ol giving itself - -frightful airs—going about in hystericalifashion, crying "Rule Britannia," playing our little, tin trumpet', and saying what a great nation we are. I admit that Bishop Julius has been long enough here to know a great deal more about the country than Bishop Neligau. (Bntf'we have been-very hospitable and, consider l ate to. him since he came over fromßallarat about • twenty years ago; and 1 think.it is a.(little ungrateful of him to; deride .us in this. way. I don't see why bishops should regard it as; a necessary part of their dfaties to denourice-and calumniate arid libel their, own country, and I trust, that some means will; be - devised to. restrain episcopalian license Of this kind in future. :"

The Kaiser of Gexmasiyz is tnowh "toBiost people chiefly as a royal personage "who Bends ( inconvenient ■■ telegrams and amexpectedletters- and wears a most agjjressiyei moustache. It is tius list ieatatre that 3! desire my.readers particularly - to notejost now, because if iheinf oranaiaaa X chave received is: correct: this Imperial characteristic will soon he lost in the mists of oblivion. I understand that the Kaiser iwos lighting a. cigarette •—fwssibry with Lord. Tweedmbuth's reply to; - the letter ■ about: the naval esthnates .or President Booaevelfs '=: reply ibo the letter- about r, the Charlemagne "lowers and Ihr.Hill—when -bis mbus"bache : The resources of the "Prussian Court and Constitution appear -to have been sufficient to save that sacled appendage from annihilation. ;But as it proved, when tbe -smoke of the conflagration had cleared away, one-half of •«ne 'side Of the:royal .'■ moustache bad ivsmished; and to restore the balance .the "Kaiser decided to trim the other side as jwelL Now hejs trakiingtho moustache to grow, not at the <dd angle of 45 degrees, v*but "long draTOhut"*; and nothing less than a, revolution is taking place--among de -xrtiste and carkatturists

and arbiters of fashion who have so long made a good "living but of the' Raiser's special facial adronment. He wbo "henceforth appears in "public wearing -ah Imperial moustache after,the old style thereby wmfaatm .Thmaglf ? r j t9 , s » jmd "behind-the-times. -(

: I have-always regarded New "Zealand 1 as the anost-.. traly.: democratic country ' in the world, but there is-a place at ."" "Home which seems to mc to have .got - Hearer the inner (meaning <rf Democracy ' than Auckland- itself. Newton Abbott * lias already gone, down to fame in oux " 'xtational annals as the town where the ' -"All Black" team went into training for I •their first matches But I ' have jnst discovered a much, better:rea- " son than* -this for. holding its name in xeyerent regard. Tie Newton .Abbott - "Poor Law Guardians—so lam informed *by an English, paper—recently discussed this weighty question: "Whether a fe- ; male servant in their- employ was .to •ibe-described on the minutes by the prefix "Miss"? Only one member of the •Board hazarded the opinion that the young lady in question "was being honoured more than her station in'life demanded," and. by a-large majority it was decided that the prefix should be aUcwed. CNow,- there is (Democracy with the chfll off, if I may say so. But de* mberri.tie principles apart, I ami vZ sure -- that the instincts of the Newto hbott Guardians -are not ;'quite eounu. ' The other day a. Sydney Judge in the.lndustrial Arbitration "C<arrt ventured to re. mark that oneof the objections entertained by average girls to domestic "ser- . Tice is that "they *do.- not : Eke . people who-are not on terms of intimacy with them calling them by ;. their . Christian ? aTO < !S {' "finite so: ;:i don't see Why they should not object ■ but I must say -hat 1 expected to see this democratic principle in New; Zealahdber . forp.it took-root and flourished in : Eriirlaad. ■"'.■: '"" " " A

■' SOOTH AFRICA. *':. - Your modern cargo boat cares little for its' passengers.' I can, (Bay this in safety, because I tare hot mentioriied the name in particular of the vessel in which lam travelling. At Durban I had an impressionist view of broad streets, luxuriant (sub-tropical Vegetation, and altogether unexpected briskness and movement, arid a quaint conjunction of electric trams and rickshas drawn by horned and winged Kaffirs. But 'twas but a lick without even a promise of more. It was. not till afterwards, on thi3 interminable sea—once /so grand and impressive, and now rapidly becoming almost silly in its monotonous daily repetition— that I learned that tbe horns , and the •wings were meant to symbolise, the strength of the ox and the fleetnessof a bird.

| Conversation has revealed to mc that Natal is taking its colour problem in desperate, seriousness. Indeed, the sensationalist among the white population is only too ready to predict a life and death, struggle in the near future. The white man is hut a handful against the hordes of; subject . tribesmen; and last year's events have brought the. truth before him with overwhelming and painful conclusiveness. rLord Methuen's period of office, just begun,- as general officer commanding -in South Africa, may be sufficiently momentous. At least, that is the view of many citizens "of Natal, and one can hardly afford to ridicule their judgment from an outsider's imperfect, knowledge.

, But -jthe Australasian visitor will look at the problem from another point of view. To be unemployed in Durban is to be in hopeless case. In Melbourne, in Sydney, in Auckland, there is always hope. The. workless. clerk can take up [pick and shovel or fetch and carry, cleave wood, or draw Water, In Durban, he is either iri some sort a master or in every sort nothing at au. From manual labour he is shut, out, to starve or to live' on his -wits. The white beggar-—sometimes a man of good address—we found to be by ho means a rarity; and as one looked into things it was easy to perceive the hopelessness of the position bf •Natal's submergedir/It is.a country for the small capitah'st, for the man who is fitted by special knowledge to direct some kind of industry; it spells despair for the man who hopes to conquer merely by physique. .. The ' liuge and often superblymade" rickshaw-men give the white man no, pre-eminence in muscular efficiency. It pays to unload a. ship without using a wineh —using only a gang of blacks, Binging and desperate, to carry out the Work.

Is there a solution? J. admit I cannot see one—unless it, lies in the plain and doleful avowal that Natal is not a white man's country, or at any rate a country for the white man -without,the means to take soriie form of command. A remotely possible. measure -would be to imitate the Australian practice of prohibiting the native from earning Within a certain: distance of tlie cities. But to carry such a policy (into effect would mean such gigantic military provisions that it strikes one that the game would bardly.be worth the' candle." It is one thing to" control a small of blacks and to prohibit'their entering into competition, with; white- labour;- it is quite another matter -where the white man is in a ridiculous, minority-him-self, and his very existence depends on maintaimng nis authority, and therefore his economic superiority over the dusky majority. ■:;.

A third point that this visit impressed -upon mc was that civilisation has here, as elsewhere j- proved, to say the least, a doubtful boon to the natives themselves. Whether as a rick-shaw-riian, doomed by bis horse-like exerI tion, to a.v; early, grave, or as a coaldumper, struck arid buffeted by his"'biaek overseer, , and... driven to ."bed .at nine o'clock in a vast factorylike compound, again with flickings and cuffs, I could hardly imagine thai; these poor, grinning,: howling, screaming children were off than in their native bush. Can they be got back there, and with safety! .From the picturesque point of view, of course, Durban gains by ite motley; population. And, indeed, a more picturesque city would be difficult to imagine. There is a circular tram-ride to be bad, which gives a marvellous panorama' of the town lying far below, and is the best of its kind I have ever taken. Luxuriant, gardens beautify; the busy streets and lend a charming contrast: in their peaceful beauty;-while a series of fine buildings culminates in an unfinished Town Hall of grandiose proportions, and erected at prodigious cost—at a cost, indeed, that was 1 sanctioned, when things Were far more prosperous than they are to-day. For the Visitor to. Durban hears no word of present prosperity—all complacent reference is to a roseate.past, and a distant, happier future. The present spells disappointment, the immediate future is said to threaten financial disaster, apart from a possible ruinous -war. The" wonder to mc was the relative cheerfulness of people in face of such a dreary outlook.

..- After the few hours spent at Durban, people naturally looked to Capetown to make up in some measure for their lost opportunity of studying South Africa At first hand. Bat, jalas! (Diir schemes haye ."ganged ■ agley," and we are to pass on -without even landing lat a port having such a volume of association for everyone of British race. All rage, but meantime the ship goes on its way indifferent—because, foreooth, there is no fresh cargo, and the passengers do not count! . The only drachm.' of balm in Gilead is. that our. helm is now towards England—that precious bit of land on which no one shall I prevent us setting our foot, where no one shall hasten or check, our coming and our going! You learn only by] experience that, a ship, which has so often been blamed. for its see-sawing proclivities, partakes also of the nature j of a dungeon, from which even the' faithful minstrel singing from ashore has hot power' 'to secure freedom for the chafing Richard on board.

So it" is the last, stage—a clear three weeks; to England; a" long three weeks, because anticipation and desire is strong 'in lis. Empire Day. is drawing near, and people are to have a chance to give play to their patriotic emotions. Elaborate: :-tableaux .are -promised, representing* every colony in the Empire, and probably our little celebration twill, for enthusiasm, I compare favourably with any on land. There. is in these anticipations of the | Old land from near at hand a strangely i deep, emotion that will hardly be realised jby those • who have not been through , a similar experience. ' It is a period of intenser patriotism than can be felt otherwise by; people' in times'of 'peace. If we, say, '"England, with all thy faults we love thee still,", we remember, that once: the emphasis was On (the .faults; now:.the faults are forgotten for''the' LKomant in th>. dautbs of our loyn, ' ■'■- ■■.■';■■.■■ ; . ; ' . ' :.. :.