CANDID COMMENTS.

Auckland Star, Volume XXXIX, Issue 129, 30 May 1908, Page 11

CANDID COMMENTS.

By "RILDA."

I was very pleased to see recently that Auckland had been enjoying a breeze that could only be fittingly described in the local weather reports as "nnwmbr." What should we have done had it happened to be a "zxyqb" breeze? This latter combination, by the way, looks like something in algebra, and possibly it is only by an algebraical calculation that the unversed in weather wisdom would ba able to deduce the inmost significance of the "nnwmbr" problem. The mystic letters may, of course, admit of quite sirrf pie elucidation; something after the nature of the explanation which the "Daily Mail" discovers is attachable to the cryptic letters "K.0.W.," which have, in London, lately puzzled the uninitiated. It appears this combination represents a collection of foolish damsels who have dubbed themselves the "Keen Order of Wallerites," to denote their high appreciation of the robustious stage style of Mr. Lewis Waller, who has, unfortunately, not yet favoured the colonies with a visit. Had the late historic tramwaymen's strike continued to synchronise with the teeming wet weather with which we have been favoured, it is quite possible we might have heard of a "M.W.R." society right here in Auckland. (Surely an explanation of the initials is not necessary?) As, however, all has ended well for the general public, they have no further .occasion to be "mad" with anybody, and from the safe shelter of the tramcars are able to bid wet wea.ther, and even "nnwmbr" breezes, do their worst.

Can it be possible that when recaptured, the escaped convict Smith was roughly handled by his captor? If so, it is shocking that in these humanitarian days such cruelty should have been perpetrated! Surely, of all persons, these unfortunate beings who are led away in a moment of "abstraction" to break into a stranger's house, or crack the head of a resistant householder, are deserving of the tenderest treatment? We cannot be too kind to our criminals; do they not fill a very important place'in the world? AVhat, for instance, would the nations do with their surplus revenues were it not for the criminal classes, who provide an admirable outlet for several millions of pounds yearly? And, again, the criminal classes may be said to be the largest employers of labour the world over. Were it not for their operations, countless persons—from judges and gaol governors down to the humblest "Bobby on the beat"—would be deprived of an honest and -withal exhilarating means of earning a livelihood. What would the world's Press do without the "copy" with which the criminals provide them? And even the general public must needs regard them ac benefactors for supplying sensational topics of conversation. Yet despite all their invaluable services, when one happens to be recaptured by an energetic but too muscular warder, he is "roughly handled!" Monstrous! Undoubtedly the captor's correct course would have been to approach Mr. Smith with a pleasing smile upon his face, and soft -words such as these upon bis lips: "My dear friend, do permit tme to lead yon to the TNtnn &&es at Mm* B*m Qm& Wβ «

desolated that you have not been domiciled beneath our hospitable roof. You permit? Ah, thank you, you are tookind!" Then for form sake, he should have attached a dainty bhie ribbon to one of Mr. .Smith's wrists and so have led him tenderly homewards. Instead of whicl , , the warder was "rough ,, with Mr. Smith; the latter gentleman's, intelligent countenance bears regrettable signs of scratches! The story is painful; we can but hope that it will prove to have been >exaggerated!

A new terror in life for the spendthrift will be 'materialised if a case in which a French, countess is now involved happens to go against her. It seems this lady had an enormous fortune, but is afflicted with a mania for lavish expenditure, and ■her family are becoming quite •possibly "they "foresee" af'time when, that fortune all expended, they may be called upon to settle the debts of the mbneywastiug lady. At" any rate they are pe* titioning'the French Courts that she may be adjudged a legal "infant," and therefore incapable of administering her own affairs. Should it happen that the' family gain their suit, and the Countess be stripped of all further real authority, a precedent will be established that "will press sorely upon the chronic moneyspenders, while it will place a. weapon in the hands of sundry "brutea" of the mala and married persuasion. It is conceivaule that even the periodic dole of pocket money extracted from these long-suffering spouses may. in future be withheld, with no further excuse than that the ladies disburse the money in a riotous and ependthriftly manner. And ■•ihen what redress have the ladies beyond the honoured and approved one of "going on strike"? Already somewhat stultified in its operations, the Arbitration Court, we may suppose, would be still more ineffective in dealing with the differences (of husbands and wives, so it is likely thai* with determined combination the fair sex might succeed in starving their "oppressors" into subjection. London has just been favoured with a small feminine strike in the shape/ of the "oome-out" of the attendants at the "Cahin" restaurants, in which case, there being , quite a number of other houses of refreshment i wherein they could regale themselves, the public found themselves able to wholeheartedly applaud the firm attitude of the girl-strikers. Unhappily for these, there are only too many other girls ready and eager to take their places, so they promptly got dismissed, and but for the theatrical manner in which they conducted affairs having produced enough money to start, on their own would now be regretting their precipitous action.

The New South Wales servant girl -who is reported to have put strychnine "just for a- joke ,, into a custard pudding she was responsible for making, must be possessed of a pretty wit. Suchlike little "jokes" wo«ld add a considerable' spice of excitement to humdrum domestic existence were other "slavics" to bs gifted with a similar rich sense of humour. After all, the world goes very slow now, and it is perhaps not altogether wonderful that, as a protest against the deadly sameness of existence, someone occasionally breaks out and does something out of the ordinary—just for a joke, or just to see what will happen. There was another woman Australia recently who set fire to a building, merely that she might have the fun of seeing it burnneedless to say, it was not a building that belonged to herself or to any member of her family. Humour is so extraordinary in the phases that it can succeed in presenting to different people—one person regarding a strychnine pudding as a huge joke, while another, not so gifted, regards it as an attempt upon her life, while a further individual perceives the humorous side of the burning of a house and yet another (to whom it belongs) feels it to be nothing short of a tragedy —supposing, of course, .that the house has riot been over-insured. Aβ Tammas the humourist, in Barries little masterpiece, "A,Window in Thrume," declares, "hnmour Has two sides, jujst like a penny piece," and it is'our misfortune, but not our fault, if we cannot always see the humorous side of a thing. I believe there ■were some folk who saw the humorous aide of the recent tram, employees , etrike —but they -were mostly persons wfto h*d flwir own private «mveyaneea, or men omW to aefefed. V«IW ; J