THE JENKS MOTOR.

Auckland Star, Volume XXXIX, Issue 28, 1 February 1908, Page 11

THE JENKS MOTOR.

BT MAX ADBLER. A man named Jenks came down to onr village, some years ago, with a machine which he called "The Jenks Motor." Jenks said tbat it was the moet wonderful discovery of the age. He said that the motive power was nothing but water. All yon bad to do was to pour a bucketful of water into the "receiver," and it was instantly decomposed into gases, and then the gases started the machine, which, Jenks said, would run from here to Peru with naif a pint of water. And Jenks eaid his main idea in coming to New Castle was to give the people a chance to subscribe to some of the stock of the motor company. Jenks said he knew he was throwing away his own chances by selling the stock, but he was a phUantrophlst and he wanted to give hie fellow men an opportunity to go into a big thing. So be set the machine up in an office, which was the only room on the main floor in the building, so that there would be no chance for ' fraud, and we all went around to see It work. First he poured some water into the receiver, then he churned it up with a kind of revolving paddle, then he opened the valves, and stamped on the floor, and the crank began to revolve with great rapidity. We all thought it was wonderful, and Jenks said that the word didn't express the idea in full. We examined the machine, and saw that there were neither fire nor chemicals about it, nor any smell of gas; and Jenks said tbat we must now confess that it was just about the grandest achievement of the human intellect. Doctor Potts was about to admit the fact when the crank slowed up, and we heard a vehement: "At—chew!" Apparently the sound came from beneath the floor. It sounded like a man sneering, but Jenks said it was merely a violent expulsion of gas from the cylinder; and as the crank went ahead again rapidly; we alt thought he must be right. A minute later we heard another: "Ah-ah-ah-chew-w-w!" And then the machine stopped until it was over. Doctor Potts began to look cross-eyed at Jenks, as if he suspected something, but Jenks said it was one of the peculiar properties of these decomposed gases to push out of the cylinder with a violent hissing sound, and, although he had tried to prevent it, he found it to be impossible. Then the machine went on again swiftly, oni Jenks wa< Jus- directing oar attention to the pressure-gauge, which stood at GOO pounds to the square inch, when the machine came to a dead, halt, and we heard, evidently in the cellar: "Ah-ab-ah-chew-ew-ew! Begorra, but I'll sneeze the head off of mc ef I keep on." Then the crank.began to revolve again; and Jenks, getting very red in the face, said indignantly: •'Which of you gentlemen has been playing a trick on mc by practising ventriloquism? It isn't the square thing." Before auybody could answer we heard ' another terrific sneeze in the cellar, accompanied with an exclamation: "Mother of Moses, but It bates the divll ' down here for ketohin' cowld!" The machine came to -a dead halt, and presently a square yard of the floor benan to bulge up. Directly a- human head appeared through the opening, and an Irishman crawled out into the room. Jenks looked ready to faint; and the man, getting up and brushing the cobwebs off his hat, said: . . Mr. Jinks.! it's meself that's Just tired of tnirhin , that internal crank down there I in that dark hoi*. The rate Iβ nibMln'-ma

tess and tt. so blasted damp that I'm S_ tah- _>' mc death o' cowld. I'm goin' to give up the job." ,-."-'-'' ~„ ...;" , ' si ' r -\- _ .^"'^

While he was speaking. Doctor Potts discovered a One wire running from the crank to the' cellar, and' hidden by the. machinery. Jenks turned wbite, and stammered out:

"This Is painful, gentlemen, very painful. But the fact is I—l—l hadn't quite Cot my receiver to working right, and 1 wanted—l thought—l—that is I Oh. bang it, I'm going to quit"

And Jenks darted through the door, and left town. He didn't sell any stock in New. Castle.