WISE AND OTHERWISE.

Auckland Star, Volume XXXVIII, Issue 253, 23 October 1907, Page 6

WISE AND OTHERWISE.

(By Old Salt.)' 5 ' _ ' .■.",;-. Although the expression is somewhatbelated, the congratulations are not leas'-•' sincere, that the Thames Police Courfc: found its occupation gone, after some thirty years of fines and fined. The pre> ■ siding Magistrate, Mr Bush, was cqni fronted last week with an absolutely ■ clean sheet, and duly presented with tie usual pair of -white gloTeß, token Of st > blameless community— . : : Worth two in the bush, is a bird in the - hand; • "• gjg ~ —Quaint problem, where "two" equals "one"—. : x . But when before "Bush," not a gaolbird does stand, ;_y ate .:• • S?j brethren! what is to be done? Not a case, "nana" or soft, to be Judged os be heard. By the S.M. who sits up above. ■'■■■"%": So for want of case-hardened or innocenfi bird, We;.U hide "Bush's" hand, with'a glorej ; The omniscient newspaper man is once "' more to the fore, with a- suggestion which I quote from a .contemporary, and which must be of enormous value to the experts, both local and imported, in solving the difficulties of disposing of the city's drainage—"The effect'of wind is often overlooked It doesn't- • matter what happens when conditions ;,, are favourable; what we have to guard against and provide for is what when conditions are unfavourable." .'.■■; J.:' The meaning here is nearly as.obsenre ' as' the English is faulty; but it maybe ,i: presumed that the advice should read, "Let things drift and be TDlowed , to it , ." Our legislators, or some of'ttiem, seen! jto think that it is necessary to he wideawake only when contesting an election, and that after victory has crowned their efforts, they are entitled to fold their hands in a little more sleep, until ;it ia time to draw their emolument—when both hands are busy. Some .carry their. respect for the House, so far that aj- , though they do not go themselves into the division lobbies, they send their cards by a friend—a method borrowed probably from those in high places who send an empty carriage to the funeral of a poor relation, and indicative- of as \ much respect. Mr. Rutherford recently, entrusted his name to Mr. Ell, andXwas afterwards much mortified to find =it > (lid not appear on the list. Mr. Ell in the spirit. Mr. Rutherford should .' retaliate in the letter and spell.his,hoi-. . ourable friend's name with an aspirate';:,^ In this report, that which will most shake public confidence, is the statement that "Sometimes the names of sleeping members are counted," and a vote ■which is "carried on the voices" will bY for the future regarded son.ewhat dubiously. So, a word in season and during sea* sion:— . . . ■ < ■•*. ~'y— '■■} ■•'■■''■. AYES AND NOES. i'V.;-; ■ Now at their ease. i With heads 'twixt .knees. '£ Each member tired, rejoices. ~ "Ayes" bad tbe last. if' _ sGreat measure passed— . ~ . " |; "Decided on the voices." : p '"■ -■ ■ it ■: Oh! blessed plan, "rf Which, lets a man, "-■■ . . Compose-himself in slumber.. *•"!'. He need not waie. -'■• • Ilis vote they'll take, . 3'y - ' And count him iv the number. . ; \ , Yet, while the vote, tfr JL'O , By one* false note, '"7. • '.'..■• May spoil our Legls-lature. \.'~--:\--u'}-&. Be careful, pray, ■&'■? . . ;* ; Xou who obey, [',<' The drowsy nod of Nature* '.j» ! " ; Much menace lies. \\l -■ - -•_ Beliind closed eyes; l» • For this is the condition.— *:.& : r : : That when "eyes" close, '«ig-f -.'---■ "■■'■'-'■ Tne vibrant "nose"' \ V- " _\ Can silence opposition! >-\ -:-;. An interesting subject for 'debating societies might be found in the question as to which is the nifcre ' imnioral—-the selling of a thing one tf.oes not possess, ;. or the purchasing of a, thing for which ',- one has not the means to pay? Al- . though each appears to be a matter of .-'/ credit, neither is very creditable, and were both practices prohibited, honeat men might be able to keep their own, while our Stock Exchange quotations - would become much more stable. Still, ._■ if the old saying be true that "it is money makes the mare go," such a . "stable" as that would not give much protection to the owner. ■ .'" In connection wit> this gambling v spirit I am reminded of a visit paid to •• the Liverpool Exchange in the summer of nineteen hundred and two; and thW informntion afforded by my cicerone, the chaiiman. Pointing to an excited ring of brokers ho inquired could I guess what they were doing, and then explaineel that they were dealing with the cotton crop of nineteen hundred and four. : "Buying cotton," he continued, "of which the seed is not yet in the ground, with "■ money that is not yet minted!" - . - .' ■' I Some of the evidence given before the . Select Committee, sitting in Wellington to consider the Quackery Prevention Bill, ! makes interesting reading, and the enor- • i tnous discrepancies between manufactur* ■ ing cost and retail selling price of sonis panaceas, almost reconciles one to paying sixpence an ounce at a registered chemist's for carbonate of soda, although it appears on'wholesale lists at nine shillings per hundredweight, or ■ paying a guinea to a registered practitionerfor * momentary use of a spatula, advice to take a trip to Eotorua. Some medical men do their own dispensing, and one such was recently waital on by .--,.. a patient who wishea to discharge an.,, indebtedness of eleven shiUings and £J£pence. Froducing the bill he innocently, inquired if he might "knock off the oM. monay," to which the doctor cheerfully ; assented, but was surprised when sixpence was produced, and the Oflu amount "knocked off." The doctor stated afterwards that had the bottle not been returned ho would not have made:•-■,-. fourpence over the deal J