WISE AND OTHERWISE.

Auckland Star, Volume XXXVII, Issue 230, 26 September 1906, Page 3

WISE AND OTHERWISE.

« 4 .. ..-.._ .iii. (By "Old Salt.")' ~ The method of destroying certain in* sect pests by introducing others to prey upon them lias proved so successful among horticulturists that we may yet expect to see the Government pomologist's recent experiments result in the Waterloo of the insidious codlin moth. It is, however, carrying the theory of the survival of the fittest to the reductio ad absurdurn stage to suggest, as did Mr Jennings.. M.H.R., that noxious weeds might be kept in check by means of the Angora goat. Noxious weeds are admittedly a pest; but the "giddy, garden goat" is an unmitigated nuisance, and while the fern leaf and kia-ora may not please all tastes as national crest and motto, it is infinitely preferable to a blackberry bush and Ang"ora." Another consideration arises, too, in the mischievous propensities of the goat. Mr Napier, in deploring the depopulation of huge areas in Scotland, in order, to provide deer-shooting for the elite, has discovered that the deer is not a fighting machine. Personally, twice at Windsor and once in the North of Scotland, when opportunities occurred to discuss this point with unfriendly looking stags, I did not take advantage of them (the opportunities), and so cannot speak upon the question; but ('but' mc no. 'buts') I. put up some fine records for sprint racing. Who that has rescued a shirt from the Hue, sleeveless and eaten up as high as the collar band, but has anathematised the goat, and who will call him (h)armless? Although the Chinese resent so bitterly the Poll-tax, and sundry other little : points in the barbed-wire fence it has been necessary to run round these fortunate Isles, that they refuse to be I officially represented at the Christchurch j Exhibition, we have in our midst, here lin the Auckland Opera House, v young I lady who nightly favours her audience ' with songs in pure Cantonese, and she ■ -.issures us tha.t she has learnt twenty i more, "all of them love songs." No 1 iloubt it is very appropriate and nice ■for Miss "Berry" to scatter seeds of kindness; but it ought to be explained to the attractive young lady that no j followers are allowed, and that we have more than sufficient Celestials with us now. IWe can't turn them out. T may mention, 1 The time for tliat, yet. is uot ripe; But their pipe of "pacific" intention. Well! we can't find a match for that pipe, Without going so far as poor Terry, I would have you, dear damsel, know notv. That, the hatchet — we don - t want to "Berry," We'd much rather "bury" the Chow! Another slander has been cast at Auckland'; but que voulez vous? Auckland is great, slander always attacks the great, and there lies the explanation, that the slanderer frequently; "lies" too, is a matter of course. Mr.Wilford, M.H.R., when moving that coroners' inquests be abandoned, stated that the only hardship inflicted would fall upon some of the "citizens of the town of Auckland" (verb, ct lit.), who look to the fees received, as jurors, to supplement, if not to supply their income. The rush, which he. describes, to catch the official eye when a body is recovered from the (harbour, suggests the cheerful fact that the "quick" may extract a '•living from the dead. Be warned in time, Mr. Wilford, and when you visit Auckland, come by train, or—let mc anticipate a vision of the future. Oh! the sun shone gaily down.On the wharf and on the town, On a crowd of men, apparently not lUmpF.rS. TVlmn their leader cried, "A toast! To the Coroner, our host!" Adjourned and warmly toasted him In bumpers. Then hastily returned, To their vigil, and I learned (What matter if the piece of news I pilfered?) That these trusty men and true. Were waiting with a view. Of sitting, quite judicially, on Wilford. It is to be feared that the present Purity Crusade in Auckland will lead to peculiar developments. Already an inspection of the papers discloses the facte, dn naked (pardon mc!) print, that a man has been arrested on a charge of lunacy becatise in an excess of modesty he went for a swim from the Hobsonstrect wharf, after divesting himself of only coat, waistcoat, and hat; while another has been fined for floating log 3 down the Wairoa River—it appears that the logs were "undressed." It is most essential that our public men should in their public utterances avoid any expressions capable of a double entente. Particularly so is this necessary in the first of our public men —the Premier. Sir Joseph Ward proclaims the policy of his Government to be "bold, wide,* liberal and magnetic." Since nobody has ever yet been 'bowled' by a 'wide' and if the Government prove sufficiently 'liberal' one is not likely to be 'stumped,' the first part of the phrase may be allowed to pass. But 'magnetic.' Sir Joseph, is not necessarily attractive. Positive, magnetism is attracted by and attracts negative magnetism. Like poles repel each other; but after all. Sir Joseph, perhaps you are right, there is one pole which seems room for misunderstanding; in fact , his electoral 'poll.' By the way. Mr Massey leaves no room for misunderstanding, in fact, his pronouncement looks more like double dealing than double meaning. As Leader of tho Opposition, he is '-anxious to put the Premier in a hole whenever ho has the chance; but the difi'erences are not personal, whether the ferocity be simulated or otherwise!" Truly There is eloquent outpouring, When the liou is β-roarlng, And the tiger is a-brandislMng his tail. But it appears Mr Massey is only a paper tiger after all. and has. I think, a very wholesome respect for the newspapers. Put succinctly. Mr Massey's opponents come ofl" scatheless, because he fires only blank cartridges and is chiefly concerned with the 'report.'