WATTS AND THE BABY.

Auckland Star, Volume XXXV, Issue 217, 10 September 1904, Page 11

WATTS AND THE BABY.

COMPLETE SKETCH. (By James L. Bowen.) John Watts was a young man—a clergyman iii charge of >ds first parish, and a reformer on a snudH scale. He was not a political reformer, far be did not bellere in naixius religion .Twi politics; nor * theological reformer, for h>: had jrrowii up uuder the shadow of a creed — 110 matter which particular one—that suited him pxar-tly, and he propoarai to devote the roniaiurter of his mc ti> its propagation, liut the reform that he did advocate was of ii domestic nature.

Now. friend John had been married some two years, and there was a little, .lohn of the mature age of six mouths. Sometimes the father tv-as out of the study wheu the mother was enjoying herself with the infantile smiles of the" baby\ aud, as John had left college only a few years ago, and was, of course, sreatly given to tbe -contemplation of the magnificent periods of Greek and Roman orators in the original tongues, the conversation between nmther and sou often grated very harshly upon his cultured ears. If ho did not immediately remonstrate •with Mrs "V\\, be took pains to enlighten her in regard to Us preferences by preaching to his congregation the uceossity for avoiding "all idle "woi«ds, even when speaking to the smallest children. Every -word shoHild hare an educational power. It should be prooonnced in accordance •β-ith toe most approved mk-s of our laisgnage, and so, in time, oar nastkwi might becmne a nation of scholars and. orators, such as the Greeks and Romans were.' . Perhaps Mrs Watts didn't know who her husband was pre*ehins at—perhaps ebe did: but he continued to write sermons a.nd she to mind the baby, as before. Occaeionnllj the father would chuckle the p«t uueter the chin with a few -words of praise. \«ery properly spoken, and the pet wonld anile its appreciation, whereapon the yoang minister would become more than, evev convinced that "ehildreii naturally atfmire perfectioa of speech." and that he had really struvk a field of *peeiai entfeavour, •which woolO eventually vastly benefit mankind. So he resolved to lay the matter somewhat elaborately before the denominational publications, and had actually half-completed an, essay on the subject, which was to find place, he trusted, in the leading magazine of his faith,when a little incident occurred—as often happens in this incidental state of existence.

Utnby was sleeping one <lay, and Mrs ■Watts desire*! to visit a sick neighbour, jnst aertms tlio street. WonW .Tohn romain within hearing, and, if baby should wake, soothe him till the mother's return? Certainly, John -would be delighted, especially ns it would assist in carrying out the sairred doty of ministering to the sick. Sβ the father paced back and forth beside the cradle, evolving sentence after seutenee, nnd argrumem npen argoment* which he noted in shorthand, till au infantile clamour broke in upon his meditations. John tried to calm the troubled juv«n»te and complete the thought upon which he was engaged, but didn't make much progress in either.

Finally, -when young John had warned up to a perfect scream, and the redness of a beet, tb« father turnst the unfinished notes into his pocker, and raised the openfeatured trabe. Suppressing an impulse to shake the young offender. Watts proceeded to ht»M "rational argument" with him—a proceeding evidently unsatisfactory to the junior, for he suddenly pitched his notes in a higher key, and turned a shade or two more deep-coloured. Finally, almost in despair, the preacher moved to the window and invited his first-born to nnholr.' the beauties of nstnre and art as there exposed to view. For a moment there was a partial hush, and Watts took occasion fo point out a lumbering vehicle then passing.

"Bohold, John," ho said, "a means of artificial transit frem place to place known as an omnibus, sometimes, in the haste of speech, designated improperly as ''bus.' Its motive power, as you see, consists of two animals called horses, which are very strong in limb, and with great powers of endurance, which, guided by the superior intelligence of man, the head of all earthly ereafcnres, move it rapidly and safely from point to point."'

What information the father would have further communicated can only bo surmised, for John. jnDior, at this momeut set up such a howl as to drown the more oultrrated tones of John, senior, and bring the stout cook from the kitchen, who, grasping the struggling fellow, and pouring out a torrent of "baby-talk" whieu no skill of linguist could ever reduce to any known language, speedily calmed the infaut grief, and restored a smile to the face of the still sobbing babe.

Fire minutes later a rising young diviue might have beeu seen industriously thrusting some unfinished manuscript and some shorthand notes into the kitchen store, with a very unsatisfied expression upon his feature?, and from that day the world has lost the serviers, I fear for ever, of one heretofore very earnest young reformer.

OH, DOES HE? Jones: That's a nice dog you bare there. What do you call him? Brown: Ohj fruit salte. Jones: Well, whatever made you acme him fruit salts? JSrown:. Ob, eno's. (He knows) c