MISCELLANEOUS ARTICLES.

Auckland Star, Volume XXXV, Issue 202, 24 August 1904, Page 3

MISCELLANEOUS ARTICLES.

i JEROME'S IDLE THOUGHTS. ' I Jerome K. Jerome is contributing weekly some "More Idle Thoughts of An Idle Fellow" to "M.A.P." Although these '•'after-thoughts" do not e.qual the first workings of his quaint brain, they are occasionally reminiscent of his earlier work, lie discussed the American girl:—'-How does she do it!" That is what the European girl wants to know. The American girl! fc>he comes i over here, and, as a British matron, re-j duced to slang by force of indignation,j once exclaimed to mc: "'You'd think the whole blessed show belonged to her." The European girl is hampered by her relatives; she has to account for her father; to explain away, if possible, her grandfather. The American girl sweeps them aside: "Don't you worry about them," she says to the Lord (hamberlin. "'lt's awfully good of you, but don't you fuss yourself. I'm looking! after my old people. That's my department. What I want you to do is just to listen to what I am saying, and then hustle around. I can fill up your time all right by myself." Her father may be a soap-boiler, her grandmother may have gone out charing. ■'That's all right,"' she says to her Ambassador; '•they're not coming. You just take my card and tell the King that when he's got a few minutes to spare I'll be pleased to see him." And the extraordinary thing is that, a day or two afterwards the invitation arrives. A modern writer has said that "I'm Murrican"' is the Civis Roinanus sum of the woman's world. The late King of Saxony did, 1 believe, on one occasion make a feeble protest at being asked to receive the daughter of a retail bootmaker. The young lady, nonplussed for the moment, telegraphed to her father in Detroit. Thp answer came back next morning: "Can't call it selling—practically giving them away—see advertisement." The lady was presented as the ■ daughter of an eminent philanthropist. I It is due to her to admit, that, taking her as a class, the American girl is a distinct gain to European Society. Her influence is against convention and in favour erf simplicity. One of Hlr I greatest charms, in the eyes of the! European man, is that she listens to I him. I cannot say whether it dops her any good. Maybe she does not. remember it all, hut while you are talking she does give you her attention. The English woman does not always. She gre?ts you pleasantly enough. 'Tre sol often wnnfpd to meet yon," she says;! "must you really go?" It strikes you j as sudden as you had no intention of i going tor hour=. But the hint is too' plain to bf> You are preparing! to agroc that you really must when.) looking round, you gather that the last! remark was not addressed to you. but| to another gentleman who is shakinzj hands with her. "Now. perhaps, we I shall he able to t-alk lor five minutes," she says. "I've so often wanted to say that 1 shall never forgive you. You have been simply horrid." Again you are confused, uuti] you jump to tbp con-i elusion that Hie latter portion of the! speech is probably intended for quite | another pa-rty with whom, at the mo-j ment, her back towards you. she is engaged in a whispered conversation. When he is gone she turns again towards you. But ihe varied expressions that pass across her face while yiju are discussing with her the morality of the fiscal poliryj bewilder yon. When, explaining your own difficult y in arriving at a conclusion you remark that C.reat Britain is an island, slio roguishly shakes her head. It is not that shi» has forgotten hrr geography, it kz that she is conducting a conversation by signs with « lady at the other <>nn of the room. When'yon observp that thp workinar classes must hp fed, she smiles archly while murmuring: "Oh, do you really think *o?"