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Auckland Star, Volume XXXV, Issue 35, 10 February 1904, Page 2 (Supplement)

SPINSTERS ATJTD TKEXR g B TROUBLES. , t By Ella Wheeler Wilcox. i c ■] . j. In olden times the spinster or mature age was ofttimes the neighbour- t hood angel and the universal friend of suffering Immunity. Jn modern times the woman bachelor frequently occupies a large pi-ace in the i public heart, and her opinion is respect- r ed by men and women and her charac- ' ter admired, her position assured. ' Nevertheless it is the exceptional woman who remains single for half a century and does not become abnormal I and eccentric and ''difficile" in many ways. l AVithout question, living alone, ana 1 thinking alone, and planning alone, is c an unnatural state for a human being. c Bachelors are usually cranky and tin- ■ comfortable creatures to know intim- * ately, but the fact that they are less £ pronounced in their whimisical ideas s than the average single woman is due I to their wider association with the c opposite sex. The bachelor is not de- £ prived of the companionship of women I as the single woman is deprived of the £ companionship of men. The laws of £ society and peculiarity ■ of the t'vo ' sexes render the situation entirely c different. A bachelor of forty or fifty is often a : lion with young girls, and, of course, is < when agreeable, sought after by older ( women, both single and married. ; A spinster of that age is regarded 1 as belonging to a past era by young 1 men, and the tastes of the older ones •■ for debutantes and the disinclination of ! ; many wives to having their husbands j; pose as platonic friends of other women i 1 leave the attractive spinster with a ; limited field for the selection of men j friends and associates. She is, when < self-respecting and refined, compelled to 1 find her comradeship with men relepa- ■ ted to relatives who rarely give or in- ( spire any sentiment stronger than , good will, and whp afford but occasional ] opportunities for a study of the sex as j a class. j Still another explanation of the • woman's propensity to become different j from married women of her ago is the ; psychological one. The Creator intend- j j ed the sexes to mate and fill ihe offices for which nature formed them, just as , He intended the plant to bud, flower and bear fruit. The plant which fails , to fulfil any one of these functions is . not normal and is in some way blighted. \ The woman who is never mated and \ never r>. mother cannot bo a complete ( human being. There is a certain blight j upon her which affects her whole na- j ture and disposition more subtly and peculiarly than ihe most disastrous ; marriage could do. Phc is-, as a rule, quite unconscious of * the difference between herself and her ' nsarriori friends. If she recognises any, '■ i she believes that it is to her credit. , i She feel? that she is more, sensible, and that she has a keener sense of disc.rimi- j Ination and is a finer critic. Sometimes all this is irue. but it is also unfor- , tunate. The purpose of all life is to mnk? ' human beings grow , broader, sweeter, j and more charitable —not .more critical ' and fault-finding. It is the purpose of this essay to set single women to thinking on these lines ' and to warn those who care to become agreeable old ladies against the habits which will prevent such a result as the } years go on. I remember a girl of 25 who was the ,' adoration of ■ children and of their i 1 : mothers. She seemed to be a born en-j ! tertainer of little ones and a sympa-"' thetie friend of their parents. She understood the whims and needs of the ' young minds, and her charity was a ' ! cloak to enfold their faults, and her tact 1 j infinite in leading them from pouts to i ' smiles. ' Encountered after an interim of al- ! most two decades, what a change was ( found! Snp had not married, and all ' , her interest in children hfd turned into ' criticism. She looked at them coldly.' s ; deplored their lack of proper training, was horrified at the outlook before ' them and manifested nothing warmer : tlian a bored indifference if any one '. chanced to try to call her attention, to ' ! the charms or gifts of some child. She was wholly unaware of the un- ■ pleasant change in herself—a change '■ i which had come about gradually with j J the passing of years and through her; failure to keep the springs of love and! sympathy fed in her heart. Instead,' she had choked them with the debris of! j carping criticism r.nd unreasonable de- ; mancls for that perfection of deportment j *■ in others which she was so far from ex- ' hibiting herself. ' Neatness and order and system are , virtues of the first order, yet many a single woman turns them into rank I* vicr? by her fussiness and her strictures 1 ' upon those who do not possess these habits, no matter how great may he \. their other qualities. Tire fussy married" woman is not a strang?r to any of us, i' to be sure, but, as a rule, the wife and mother Jenrns to submit to a little oc-!' casional disorder without making the ? I household miserable, while the spinster is J apt to become a monomaniac upon the;'' I subject without hindrance and without" : any one to tell her how disagreeable a j< virtue crone to seed can he The ready condemnation of the frivo-| ( lous or indiscreet woman, the severity of; judgment and the intolerance of sn-i , other's ideas are easy faults for the.'' woman to drift into who lives much. alone- I - Now, .to every woman who finds her- 1 C self, from design or accident, single anrlj c past 30 I would urge a careful self-' 1 analysis p.nd watchfulness as the days'* gn by. Let her not lose her interest in ' children, nor turn carping critic of the I s youth and maid, nor set herself as judge! of all husbands and wires, nor allow j u her love of order to mnkn her an uncomfortable crank about trifles. Let her ba ' tolerant of the ideas of others and keep: - love and sympathy nlive in her heart, i j. There is much said and written'by a' : certain conventional order of mind about ' the people who nre kind to animals and' unsympathetic to human beings'and in- c different to children. I think such a ' combination is most exceptional: kind-; 1, ness p.nrl sympathy for animals almost 1 invariably indicate universal kindness !l and sympathy. But I have encountered two single women in my life who sunk ( a natural love for children in an hv?f:eri-i r cal admiration and affection for four-! lemred creatur-s. In both eases an in- c difference almost resembling dislike, was' ' exhibited toward children. ji The present enlarged outlook for f woman is a blessing to the world, Tt. ' gives the single woman almost unlimited;* scope and avenues Jor thought, action j? and usefulness. Yet the "conditions! i which*-tend to drive her toward cranki-!f

ness still exist, and she should face the facts and fight against the results. That married women should seek to grow agreeable and companionable as they advance in years is understood, but the single woman has no husband or children to condone her faults and love her in spile of them, and it behoves her to cultivate the most exceptional virtues as she goes down the hill of life toward a lone'y old age. AS OTHERS SEE US. When a woman has learned that Fashion's decrees are to be adapted and not merely blindly adopted she has made important progress towards solving the problem of smartness in dress. "As others see us" cannot fail to be of value when one has the wisdom to appreciate criticism, for ■whatever may be the general truth as to Fashion's edicts they must be readjusted to apply to particular cases. Fortunate souls are occasionally met to whom any style or colour is becoming. They are the rare favourites of Nature, and need give no thought to adaptability. Because Margie is tall and slender and ai'rays herself in garments that will add apparent plumpness and reduce her height, it does not follow that Janet, less thin and unmistakably short, can be as prepossessing in a costume of the same design. The person who assumes that all styles are equally becoming to all women hits yet to learn the first principles of artistic gowning. In choosing the spring frock due regard tor the impressions received by quiet but critical observers will be taken of the fact, that brocades, fashionable ;:s they arc, have no sympathy for embonpoint, and that goods with lengthwise stripes "will render shortness of stature aniJ stoutness less pronounced. Sashes and dress accessories generally are cither friends or foes —there can be no neutral ground. A broad ribbon sash about the waist, with a deep width in front is becoming to the very long, slenfier waist; such a sash defines the body and adds plumpness. But for iier whose outdoor Jife lias produced a decided waist the belt will be an obviously undesirable adjunct. Ribbon is the favourite trimming of theyear,but it defeats its mission when arranged in insignificant bows placed here and there without purpose. Generous bows of ribbon that enhance a drapery or the loni sash ends at the back of the summer frocks impart a grace that an uu reasonable use of ribbon can never attain. .Much is being said nowadays in regard to the matron endeavouring to retain a youthful appearance —an anomaly that never fails to excite comment. The "outgrowth of thisambitionforperennial outward youth is the pitiable object who is over-dressed—who wears hats quite in keeping with sweet sixteen —whose gowning can only be called fussy. She cannot grow old gracefully, but shows the results of her fight with Father Time. When she supplements Nature's failing complexion also she should see herself as others see her to determine the mistake. Such erring ones fail to realise that, there is a beauty that belongs to every age, and that often the most charming of objects is the dear ; old lady with her white hair and dainty cap. Fine feathers make fine birds, but rich and costly garments do not alway" make the beautifully dressed woman. Perhaps the most distinctive article of woman's attire is her hat. Badly chosen, it mars the most beautiful 'costunje, and instead of a crowning triumph it ruins the artistic in. her pretty frock and proclaims before all that she does not know how to dress. In purchasing new head gear criticise it from all points of view. The mirror may show a most graceful and becoming front, but do not forget that others see us from the side and back; therefore, look at it long and critically from, these points of view. The woman who can have but few hats should know that the most extravagant colour is white, for an all-white hat may be worn only on occasion, and is seldom in good taste for wear on the city streets. Such a hat is too elaborate, and when we wear such others see us to our detriment. The choice of colour is alwa}'s the keynote to artistic dressing, whether in frocky, wraps or hats, and to be adjudged a well dressed woman one must keep her eyes open as to what appears beautiful or otherwise upon her neighbour. The result of her observation should indicate .that she appreciates the fact that others see her.

N3VES. SK&W YOUR HUSBAND YOUR LOVE LETTEK3. There is nothing 'that makes a. man feel so sore and aggrieved as a wife's old love affairs, when, in reality, he should be proud of her popularity, and consider it a compliment to his own good taste that she should have been admired; and yet the fact is that not one man in a thousand can stand the mention of a wife's old sweethearts with any degree of amiability, to say nothing of equanimity. On the contrary, it generally has about the same soothing effect on his temper that the flaunting red Hag has on the gentleman with horns Avho make -things lively ia the Spanish arena. An old faded photograph, a bundle of old letters, faded and suspicious of tears, has created a panic in many; an otherwise happy Lome. A man always wants to feel that the woman of his choice has never loved, and will never love any one but his own precious self, and 'that is the reason that he asks about five thousand and eighty-nine times during a three weeks' courtship: "Did rou never really love any other man?" And if you be wise and want him very badly, you will never make any incriminating admissions. Never, no never, become confidential and show a husband old love letters. In the first place, it is not exactly honorable, because when a man offers Jiis love to a woman he pays her the highest compliment in his power; therefore if lie has really loved her, and she couid not return his love, a regard for his feelings, and a proper appreciation of the compliment implied in singling her out for his love, should make her keep inviolate any expression of that love. If she has merely trifled, it is additional reason for secrecy. Then, to:), a more self-interested molive should control her and keep the matter secret. A husband is rarely favourably inclined towards a man who has * ever made love to his wife, even, though it may have been before he came on the scene. He has always a sort of injured feeling whenever his name i.; mentioned and, while he may not say very much, yet the fact remains that he does feel injured. So it is better for a woman to forget.

TESTED RECIPES. " JAVA RISSOLES. Mince very finely any white meat left from turkey or chicken, mix with it a fourth part of minced tongue or * ham, dissolve an ounce of butter in small saucepan, stir into it an oun ce Ji flour until the Hour is cooked without hi ing coloured; add a quarter of a pint Tt white stock or milk, and stir quieklv tm the sauce leaves the sides of the Van take it off the tire, stir in the meat si! son to taste with cayenne, salt, jrroun,? mace, and pepper, adding a very Htth cream; turn out the mixture on a m<,t to get cold. Meanwhile roll out som« puff pastry very thin, cut it info rounds place a spoonful of the mixture on each' moisten the edges, fold over the ->aste to make a puff, press the edges together and trim them, brush over with egg, dip j n breadcrumbs or crushed vermicelli, and fry in deep boiling fat. Observe fji&t a blue smoke rises over its surface before you attempt to fry the rissoles, otherwise they will get. sodden and burst. f] V them a golden yellow, drain on paper, and serve on a dish-paper; garnish with fried parsley. SOME \TAYS TO COOK CARROTS. Fried Carrots.—Clean and scrape some young carrots. Put them into a saucepan :ind cover with cold water. Add a small piece of washing soda and a pinch of salt. Bring to the boil, then rin se them in cold water, and cook them in boiling water till tender. Take the carrots out, drain, and dry them in a clothroll them in flour, and brush over with whole beaten-up egg. and dip the carrot 3 into fresh-made bread-crumbs. Put them in a frying basket, and fry in clean, boiling fat till a nice golden colour. Bisk up on a and sprinkle with chopped parsley. Stewed Carrot*. —Wash and scrape some young carrots, put them ift a saucepan, and cover with cold water; add a tiny piece of soda and a pinch of salt. Bring to Ihe boil. Ihen mix them in cold water, and dry them in a clean cloth. Fry them in a stewpan with one ounce of butter for twenty minutes: then add a glass of sherry and a quarter of a pint of good stock. Bring to the boil and cook gently for one hour, adding a little more stock if required. The carrots should have a glazed appearance. Sprinkle in a little castor sugar. Turn them into a hot vegetable dish. Carrots in Tomato Puree.—Blanch some young carrots as in the foregoing recipe. Rub the contents of a small tin of tomato pulp through a wire sieve, adding half a pint of stock to it, and a little pepper, salt and castor sugar. Put it in a stewpan and bring to the boil; place the carrots in the pulp and let them cook till tender, drain them from the puree and put them on a fried crouton of bread. Re-boil the, sauce and put into it half an ounce of ground rice that has been mixed with a little cold stock, add a little pepper and salt, and pour it through,* strainer over the carrots. Garnish the dish with lit tic heaps of fried croutons, and serve very hot. OX PALATE CROQUETTES. Boil some ox-palates and cut tlengthwise, arrange them in a stewpan, and cover with good stock, adding a suspicion of garlic, a bay-leaf, some cloves, and a blade of mace. After simmering hall au hour, take out the meat, drain it, and let it get cold. Have ready some highly seasoned forcemeat and put some of it in each piece of palate. Dip into frying batter, and cook in deep fat till a delicate brown colour.

HOUSEHOLD HINTS. How to Tie Shoelaces.—Proceed exactly as if you were tying an ordinary bow, but before drawing it up pass the. right-hand ioop through the knot, and give a steady pull on both loops. You may walk, dance, or ride a bicycle a.l day, and the knot will remain intact. In untying, be sure to pull the righthand string, and you will have no trouble, but if you pull the other ypu Trill tighten the knot. To Clean Old Medals.—Keep tb« medal in lemon juice until all osidation lias disappeared. Aβ a rule 24 hours suffices, though it may be lef,t jn the juice longer without endangering the medal. To Remove the Smell of Cooking.— Into a pint of boiling water pour a feff drops of oil of lavender. Open the window of the room and carry the basin round a few times. Iv a few minute* all odour of cooking will have disappeared. Beating Butter to a Cream. —If you scald the pan, and then well dry before putting in the butter and sugar, you will be able to beat it to a cream far. more easily than if you used a cold pan. The warm pan w.ill not hurt the butter in the least. For candle grease on dresses nothing is better than the old-fashioned remedy of blotting-paper and a moderately hot iron. Put clean blotting-paper under and over the grease and iron. Change the blotting-paper often, and continue until no greasy stain is left upon it. A Cheap Floor Polish.—Save all the ends of candles, put them in a, jar, and melt on a stove. 3Mix enough turpentine to make a soft paste, and you wi'l have an excellent polishing material for oil-cloth, linoleum, etc., which will cost you hardly anything. To Cure Knife Cuts.—To rapidly cure cuts, scratches, etc., take one or two geranium leaves, crash them on a cloth and apply to the wound. A single lea" often suffices. It adheres firmly to the skin and draws the wound which will heal very quicklyTo Clean a Carpet. —First have ifi taken up and well shaken or beaten* Meanwhile have the floor scrubbed, and f when dry. relay the carpet. > T ow take k,-o buckets of warm water, one clear and the other soapy: 2oz. of good yellow soap dissolved in two gallons of water will be the right mixture. Wash the carpet bit by bit, hrst with the soa#y water and v! clean rag, and then, after taking up as much of the suds as possible, "rinse it with clear water, and dry it with a clean cloth. Change the suds and the rinsing water as they become dirty, and take care to rub wita the pile sJ that the water may not penetrate the carpet more than is necessary. The great point to be remembered is no? to attempt to wash too large a portion a* once, for it should bo. dried quicKly » prevent the colours mnning. .. Before papering a damp wall brn» ji< well over with a varnish made o dissolving a quarter of pound of shell** in a quarc of naphtha. To Clean Gilt Frames.-I'icture framrt I do not escape the general spring c' eaiun -' but they require a special pwPggJJ for themselves. Mix an ounce of kitcne salt, an ounce of alum and two ounces of purified nitre with a gill of watei, sponge the frames with this, and thg will become quite clean, even if they trew previously much discoloured.