A SOCIABLE DOG.
A Complete Sketch.
(By MAX AJD-BLEB.)
Major Spangler, one of our lawyers, was sitting in his office, reading up on a case that was coming on m court. All of a sudden the door burst open and in dashed Jim Dixey, dragging a huge dog by a chain. Hurriedr Iγ flinging the chain around the table leg, and snapping the catch, he said: •<Harry, I want to leave him here a minute while I speak to old Mrs 1 Fennoyer. She's just going up the street. Be back right off!" And before the major could express his views, Dixjay rushed out, slammed the door, and left the major in charge of the dog. He was a large dog. And for some reason he seemed to think that the major load been left in his charge. He sat on his hind legs and gazed at the major, and whenever the latter cleared his throat, or turned over : a leaf or crossed his legs, the dog ■ emitted a deep growl and betrayed an extreme anxiety to come close up and take a few sociable sniffs. Once, when the major had to sneeze, the - dog jumped at him in such an earn- | est manner that he sprang back i three or four feet. The dog also moved up, pulling the table after him; then the major edged further arcund, and the dog seemed to become more and more convinced that 1 the major was an improper person to have about, and the more the major whistled at him the more demonstrative did he become. At last he appeared to have decided that he was ertitled to at least one bite, and he made an earnpet effort to get itThen the major suddenly sprang en the table, and from there to the top of the bookcase, where he sat while the dog made frantic efforts to get at him. Being in a secure position, the major resolved upon war. He aimed ioMT volumes of Law Eeports at the animal; he knocked' him down with Blackstone, and bruised him with Chitty on Evidence. He emptied the two upper shelves of books, and eyi cry time he fired the fury of the dog increased until he fairly frothed at the mouth* and in' his rage clawed ; the books to rags, upset the table ' and chairs, broke the water pitcher, , and smashed things generally.
i "While the battle raged, Dixey came in, and when he observed the situation, he said:
"Hello, Harry! Plajrng with the dcg? Much obliged. You see I had
"Take that infernal trute out of here!" said the major. "Had to see old ;Isennpyex about that will case, and I thought I'd leave him here just half a second ■while I spoke to her. Ain't he splendid? I just bought him., Now, how much 'd you think I paid for him?" "Why don't you take that dog away from here?" "Well, sir, do- you. ' ilarry, why don't you get down so's ! I can talk to you? Do you know I ' bought him for ten dollars of a man over at Hare's Corner? v Splendid i watchdog, he says. Eat up a man in ■ a minute." "If you don't take him out I'll kill him."
"Oh, now what's the use of talking that way about the poor animal? When he's among friends he's as innocent and playful as a kitten. Come en down; he won't hurt you. Take a little harmless nip or two at your leg, maybe, but nothing worth minding. Get down; I want to ask you about Mrs Pennoyer."
"Hang Mrs Pennoyer! Are you going to remove that confounded dog or not?"
j "Beach your leg down, anyhow, 1 so's the ptap can play with it for a minute, and then maybe he'll be satisfied. Just try him and see what he'll do. I'll bet you anything he just wants you to pat him on the head. ,.
j "I'll pat him with a hatchet if i I ever get a chance. Why don't you drag him out?"
J "Oh, well, if you stay np there I s'pose I'll have to stand it. "Well, sir, Mrs Pennoyer says that she's going to take that case into court, and she wants me and you to—what in thunder did you hit the dog with that boot < for? He ain't doing you , any harm?"
"You infernal scoundrel, if yon don't remove that animal from my office I'll prosecute you |pr assault and battery, with intent to kill."
"Oh, well, if you're going to make a fuss about such a little thing as that, 'I'll hunt tip another lawyer. Come here, Jack! Here, dog, here!"
Then Dixey unchained the dog, and tried to drag him off, whereupon the dog flew at Mm and bit him, and Dixey emerged from the door with the playful little lamb holding on to his leg. With a wild, exultant shout the major slid down, slammed the door, and looking out of the window at the struggle between the two, he said:
"Hooray! Good dog! Bite him, Jack! Go for him! Bully dog! Don't nund him, Dixey! Playful as a kit--1 ten; only taking a little harmless nip! Let him play with your leg. Ah, hah! old fellow, you know how it is yourself now!"
Then the combatants disappeared, and the next day, when the major met Dixey hobbling down the street on crutches, Dixey said: "I sold that dog. He was too earn* est. I like a Sociable dog, but that one was too ready for business, an<3 not fond eo.ough of jocularity. I sold him to a man who charged £3 to take him away."
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https://paperspast.natlib.govt.nz/newspapers/AS19030102.2.17
Bibliographic details
Auckland Star, Volume XXXIV, Issue 2, 2 January 1903, Page 2
Word Count
948A SOCIABLE DOG. Auckland Star, Volume XXXIV, Issue 2, 2 January 1903, Page 2
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