STORIES OF DR. STUBBS.

Auckland Star, Volume XXXII, Issue 129, 1 June 1901, Page 1 (Supplement)

STORIES OF DR. STUBBS.

Of Dr. Stubbs, Bishop of Oxford, and compiler of that standard work, "The Constitutional History of England," who died last Monday after a brief illness, many good stories are told. A generation ago he moved the world of letters to laughter at the expense of two of the most eminent men of the day, namely Proude and Kingsley. Frbude, in one of his rectorial addresses across the Tweed, and Kingsley, from the professorial chair at Cambridge, had given -utterance almost simultaneously to certain characteristic criticisms, and their outpourings moved Dr.; Stubbs to this stinging stanza. It is a really "wicked" piece of wit: "Proude Informs the Scottish youth That parsons have no care.for truth, While Canon King-sley loudly cries That history is a pack _of lies. "What cause for judgment so malign? A brief reflection solves the mys'ery— For Proude thinks Kingsley a divine, And KLngsley goes to Proude for history." Usually Dr. Stubbs' humour was of the genial kind. When worried by a fussy old lady with, questions on every conceivable subject which didn't interest the Bishop, and who wound up by askingl where she should go in a tour through Palestine, Dr. Stubbs got his own back by replying in a mild voice, "Where my dear lady? Oh! go to Jericho." Another yarn concerns one of his clerical flock during his tenure of the See of Chester. Among- his country clergy was a vicar who, for convenience sake, may be called Mr Blank, of Blankton —a man full of fancied ailments, who considered change such an absolute necessity that-, at the date of the story, he was quite a stranger in his own parish. One day he came to the Bishop with his usual request. "Not very well, my lord—feeling decidedly run down —immediate change of air most urgent," The Bishop's eyes twinkled, but he spoke quite quietly: "Try Blankton, my dear sir, try Blankton." ] Another story is of a student who was somewhat slow of understanding. Dr. Stubbs had a high opinion of the value of "Butler's Analogy," and hardly ever forgot to impress its importance on young students. This was testified in a comical manner after a luncheon given to Ordination candidates at the close of their examination. Amongst the number there happened to be a very simple and exceedingly nervous ' young country curate. "Good-bye, Mr ," said the Bishop, with his genial smile, "don't forget Butler, yon know, don't forget Butler!" "Oh, no, my lord," replied the young man, nervously fumbling in his pocket. "I've given him half-a-crown already!" The late Bishop was particularly impatient of any attempt to "talk shop" in hours of relaxation. Clergy were often unable to perceive that, after two confirmations, and a drive of perhaps ten or twelve miles the Bishop had earned the frig-lit, to have Obis tea. in peace, and thus laid themselves open to a snub. But on one occasion a clergyman approached the Bishop with a request for a subscription towards his Band of Hope excursion. "Not I!" was his lordship's reply; "you temperance people spend more money in abusing your neighbours than I get for my diocesan societies." Similarly, when a clergyman's wife enquired whether he was pleased with the confirmation candidates, the Bishop shocked her by replying: "I didn't see a single pretty girl among them." His wit, in fact, took the form of unexpected replies. "How many articles, my lord?" said a porter, capturing the Bishop's hand-bag. "Thirty-nine," replied his lordship promptly, to the man's bewilderment. But he had no scruples about shocking the particular, A flustered chaplain once burst into the library at Cuddesdon, where the Bishop sat reading while the last bell was ringing for service. "Has your lordship forgotten that it's Ash Wednesday?" he queried. "Ash Wednesday must take the will for the deed," replied the Bishop, resuming his book.