RANDOM SHOTS

Auckland Star, Volume XXXII, Issue 46, 23 February 1901, Page 4 (Supplement)

RANDOM SHOTS

P^ BY,, ZAMOEL

Some write, a neighbour's name to lash; Sumo write-valn thought-for needful

cash, . , Some write to please the country clasn, And raise a din. For me, an aim 1 never fash— I write for fun. ,

~nders have had a good look at j Tommy Atkins, and have studied him | as a man and a. type with great in- | terest. The conclusion a lot of them , have come to. as the result, is that j Tommy may be a very good -fighting i animal, but that he is not up to the level of colonials. We are a peaceful, farming nation, but the contingents! we have raised and sent away to South j Africa are, taking the young soldiers j collectively, superior in physique, stamina, and ill general intelligence and j reasoning power to these Tommies, j who arc to bo taken as a fair type of the British Army. In regard to physique, many of the Highlanders and the Guards are very fine men. but the English infantrymen were small, and some even under-sized. And the Grenadiers, though tall, were lankier than ; the lankiest Cornstalk. As for the soldiers' brain-power, the well-drilled j soldier has a good deal of the reasoning faculty knocked out of him in course of time, through the very fact of being so perfectly drilled. With the exception, perhaps, of the Artillery and the Royal Engineers, who certainly must possess and use brains to get through the splendid work they do, the average British soldier, with all' his bravery, has not been called on much in the past to exercise, his head. There is a good deal that appeals to | the admiration in thn stubborn bulldog "do or die" business, bait life in these colonies tends to develop the reasoning and questioning powers, and a young colonial soldier wants to know all about every tiling, and debates in his own mind whether his officer is right. He obeys all the same—that must follow, or what would become of discipline? As for Tommy, the whole tendency of things, as conducted in the British Army, up to this time, has been to convert him into a perfect automaton. But there are signs that the lessons learned in the Boer war are going to alter that somewhat. The familiar phrase about the noncommissioned officers being "the backbone of the British army" struck me With renewed force after a closer acquaintance with our Imperial visitors. The non-coms, with the troops were on the average a splendid lot of fellows, intelligent, well-educated, and apparently thoroughly trained in their military work. On them fell the . bulk of the work of looking after the troops and carrying out the arrangements, and the smartness with which they did their work Was very noticeable. Some of them were very sore about tlit> easy time the officers had throughout the tour. "It's the officers who get all the fun," said one of the noncoms., "and it's us who do all the work. While we were in Sydney our officers left us altogether, and went touring round Tasmania. 1 applied for one day's leave in Sydney 'and I never heard the last of it, and in the end I never got it after all." "The British officers have had rather a slating in the papers since the war," 1 remarked to another non-com., whose badges showed a fine record of active service. "And, by the Lord," was his reply, "they deserve it all!" There are model officers, no doubt, whose first consideration is for their men; bnt this was not the case on the Britannic. The soldiers had to sleep and meal packed like sardines in evilsmelling calabooses below decks, while the officers hr,d a large saloon, staterooms, etc. That was quite right; it will always be the way; but what made the plight of the men even worse was the fact that much of the deck* space which should have been theirs was taken up in the colony by the structure erected for the horses presented to the officers. This was a little thing, perhaps, but it ga.ve those particular Tommies near whom the animals were quartered the idea that their, own comfort was of much less importance than an officer's horse. One officer had five horses all to himself, afld.l suppose it took that number of Private Atkinses all their time to look after the quadrupeds. tf>$"f'l"s''f"s"?<'T"?' "What has become of the good old British cheer? It seems to be dead in Auckland. I have noticed several times within the last few years that an Auckland crowd seems quite incapable of giving a combined cheer, and the reception of the.lmperials on Saturday was no exception to the rule. I won't say that the crowd was not enthusiastic, but they certainly did not make much of a noise. As the detachments passed tip the street there was a sort of dull roar, but there was no enthusiastic waving of hats or whole-hearted cheering. AVhen an Aucklander cheers he always seems to me to do it in an apologetic style, as if cheering was something to be ashamed of. There appear to be only two occasions when he can make a noise—at a football match and in the pit of the Opera House. ********** Tommy and his beer is still a subject for controversy. Some people seemed to have the idea wlrert the troops were here that the chief end and aim of the British soldier was to make himself a receptacle for beer, and acting on that belief a large section of the Auckland public liberally filled up Tommy with liquid refreshment the nights he was ashore on leave. This ■just suited Mr Atkins, but he has not ret recovered from the insult which the Reception Committee offered to his drinking capacities. The insinuation that a glass or two of beer with his ' dinner would put Ih<> British soldier in a state of objectionable intoxication was something that raised his ire. If he prides himself on anything, it is his ability to carry his liquor in a truly lMMsh manner. Talk-

ing of the freer business reminds me that the Reception Committee members who voted against giving" the soldiers a glass of'beer totally misconstrued those now-famous remarks of Lord Roberta on which they relied so much. Lord Roberts appealed to the British public: not to indiscreetly "treat" returned soldiers. He never said a word about refusing1 soldiery beer a? a. necessary beverage with their inonh. The. preat general would not have dreamed of giving utterance to f-o illiberal and seltish a sentiment. Home of the Imperial troops waxed very sarcastic- over the beer question on Saturday, "i'leflfe, mister," said one of the "Tommies " to :> committefiraan at the luncheon, "if you'll givo me a drinlc of lemonade and some sweets I'll promise to be a good boy." The announcement that, grapes were to^be handed round as a substitute for beer provided food for much merriment among1 the "wags" of the contingent, and 1 believe many of the men refused to eat the fruit under such conditions. It was most unfortunate that after all the fuss made by the temperance section of the committee in their anxiety to prevent the men from having- beer they hadn't enough "soft" drinks to go round. Seven small battles of ginger-pop for a table holding" over a score of thirsty "Tommies!" it was n sorry farce. ********** The free and easy manners of our worthy Premier have no doubt a good deal to do with his great popularity with Hie mass of the people, for there is no biding the tact that Richard Seildon, Esq., I.C. is just about aa popular, if not more so than any man who has yet held the helm of our State craft . When, last Saturday, the Premier announced that he had managed, by invoicing the aid of Lore! Roberts/to get the stay of the troops prolonged a couple of days, at oneo there rang' out the cry, "Good old Dick." We have amongst us men who hold the exalted rank of J.P. who fee? their dignity hurt if these letters are not, added whenever their names appear in print, but no one can accuse the Premier of a similar weakness, His free and easy style was illustrated when on Saturday he shouted out. ''Come on, Ward." whereupon a wag cried out. "I say, Dick, call him Mr. Ward, please," and the Premier joined heartily in the roar of laughter that followed the sally. &> A* At i-J, #-J, »J» »Jj, »^» t^ fjt Mr. Seddon is one of those men who would succeed in any walk of life. The past few weeks have shown us clearly that if he had not risen to fame as a statesman he would have made an admirable manager for Cook's Tourist Agency. Perhaps, if lie falls from power, he may one day have to make j use of this ability and offer himself: as a courier. lie would certainly make « splendid one, but he would, have to be kept in the background, or j his party would see nothing- of the sights. ********** It is safe to assume that our Indian visitors carried away very pleasant recollections of their sojourn in Auckland, for they were right, royally entertained and much admired. In fact, it is an open secret that some of our own •'Tommies" thought too many fair creatures overlooked their fellow countrymen's attractions in order to gaze admiringly at the dusky sons of the East. "Tommy" could not understand why such a blooming fust? was made of them "blokes," as one gentleman choicely put it. The fact remains that the Indians Avon golden opinions everywhere by their handsome, dignified appearance, and also by their unvarying politeness. They must have written their names thousands of times to please people, and they were equally obliging and polite whether it was a'handsome girl or a ragged urchin who made the request. The night before they sailed the Indians were besieged by children, all eager to shake hands with them, and they smiled pleasantly as they grasped each outstretched hand, no matter whether it was the well dressed "Missie," or the barefooted boy with ventilated pantaloons. They made no secret that they liked Auckland and the way hi which they had been treated on an equal footing, and as the men who came over represented seventy-two regiments they will be capital advertisers of the beauties, of Auckland and the kindness of its citizens. Even when their meals were being eaten they courteously allowed themselves to "be looked at, although that is a thing they are very particular about. When they were taking their mealsone day an old lady remarked, "Why, they're just squatting like Maoris." Whereupon a son of the ancient Kings of Ireland who was standing by said, "Whist, mum; don't you know half them fellows is princes and the rest jukes?" ******'4>*** The crusade against Maori tohungas is being carried on with vigour on the East Coast. The la.test up before the. Courtis a Maori witchdoctress, whose mode of treating a typhoid-fever patient is remarkable for its heroic simplicity. She simply dipped the sufferer in the surf, left him in a wet tent, and dieted him on flax-water, shark, and stingaree. Under the circumstances it is not surprising" that the man died in two days. It appears that she guaranteed to cure, him in two days—and sure enough she did it, for he has no typhoid now. There is a good deal of this sort of Maori doctoring going on, and the only wonder is that more of the patients don't slip through the practitioner's fingers. The. sublime faith which a sick native reposes in the tohunga often carries him through, in spite of the cold-water cure which is prescribed alike for typhoid, whoop-ing-cough, and measles. 4..M.,******* "Wanted a Mayor" seems to be about the position of Auckland, in view of the refusal of our present chief magistrate to carry the load any longer. Of course there are many who would be willing1 to take up the position, but fear the public would not take them. The position of Mayor for the coming year will be a trying one. As the advertisements read when a quadruped is wanted, our Mayor will require to be "staunch in harness," but this year in particular it is requisite that the occupant of the May-, oral chair should have special qualifications for the position, for are we not to entertain our future King—that; is if he is ever allowed past Wellington? At the same time we want a Mayor that will be staunch-in harness, .for ttxare is a lot of important work

1o be done for the city this year. Our water supply is not completed, our fire brigade requires remodelling, a new station and up-to-date appliances. Then, too. there is the question of. lighting the city with electricity, thai miiv become "of importance once the Electric. Tramways Company gets a start. Large sewage works require 4o be carried out, and Queen-street blocked from end to cud at the same tinn.l a? the tramways are laid. It is therefore requisite we should have something more than a Mayor who simply wishes to hob-nob for a day or two with ttoyulty and then leave all the detail work of the Council to others. It will thus bee seen that we require a man for Mayor who will rlo credit to the city at a social function and at the same time bo an engineer, financier and administrator. Such is the position. ?.£w, gentlemen candidates, don't all sfe:ik at once.