TABLE TALK.

Auckland Star, Volume XXXI, Issue 209, 3 September 1900, Page 1

TABLE TALK.

'Frisco mail gone. ■ Criminal sessions continued to-day**. Russia wants to withdraw from Pe* kin. Auckland Harbour Board meets to* morrow. General Kekewick is liurrying t<_ Mafeking. " Otago footballers play Taranaki on Wednesday. The outbreak ot plague in Glasgow is a mild one. Auckland-Otago football match wa_ a drawn game. Li Hung Chang promises to restore order in China. H.M.S. Porpoise went into the Calliope Dock to-day. Allies are not agreed as to withdrawing from China. A raihvay porter has been accidentally killed at Helensville. Wins. Richardson, .the itemperanclecturer, is out- of gaol again. The Breelong blacks have been heard from again in New South Wales. A fatal accident occurred at the Thames Hotel early yesterday morning. A recent tornado wrecked most of the buildings in Mafeking. Many were injured. Four men have been drowned at Sydney' as the. result of a yachting accident. Dividend of 5 per cent, declared by Northern Boot and Shoe Mamrfacfruring Company. The North Island Main Trunk Railway League will bold a meeting this evening. ; Two thousand Boxers were recently slaughtered at a feast- by Chinese Imperial soldiers. Russia announces that, her troops will be withdrawn from Manchuria when order is permanently established. The mail steamer Moana has over a third of a million pounds sterling iv gold on board from Sydney for San Francisco. In a boxing match at Coney Island, New York, on August 25, for a prize of 25,000d0!., Fitzsimmons knocked Shar*key out in the second round. Junior Partner—l see you have engaged a new man. Is he a good salesman? Senior Partner —Good salesman? By jove, I should t^Wk he is. I had to send for the police to prevent him from talking me into making him a partner! "Yes," said the irascible aeronaut, "I told you a moment ago that the escape-valve is out- of order, and that I was doing my best to mend it. What do you want now?" And his timid companion trembled violently as he answered, "I want the earth." "Clara, here's an article which says that 50 per cent, of the gardeners die too soOn." "Never, mind, Charles; go ahead digging up those beds. -■ Of : course, air those - foolish men were bachelors, who didn't have wives to make them come in when, it rained." During .the .discussion upon the .cost of living'in Christchurch and Wellington, at a meet-hg of the Conciliation Board -in Wellington, the Chairman (Rev. J. Grewes) said no Court could convince him br any other main who had lived in the two cities, that it was as cheap to live in Wellington as In Christchurch. . • ' At the Wanganui Opera House recently Mr Con Stubbs, well known in Auckland, was presented by the members of the W.M. and D.A. with j a silver cigarette case and testimonial in appreciation of his services in keeping the electric light going under trying circumstances at the opening performance, when the * engine :broke down. A great tangi has been held at Watwetu (says the Wellington "Post") over the death-of Enoka Taitea Hokepa, one- of the-oldest Maori chiefs in .the .Wellington, district. Natives from Taranaki and Hawke's Bay are amongst those present. The deceased was a fine type of the Maori race. He was thoroughly upright in all his dealings, and--all through his life he was on excellent terms with the Europeans. I When Lord Roberts was in Glasgow to receive the freedom of the city, an old woman jointed the crowd at the. entrance to the City Hall, just as the carriage drove, up; 7"Wha_. that wee man wi' a' the-medals on his breast?_■she enquired-of-a bystander. "Lord Roberts—General Roberts," replied the gentleman addressed.* "What!" exclaimed the* old lady. -"-That, a general! "I've a "son-near twice his size, and was only a corporal!" "Do your young lady patients object to persons knowing that. they , have false teeth?" /was.a question asked by counsel of a-witness in a dental case before the * .Christchurch Supreme Court. "Ohiyes," was the reply. "W? take all precautions to keep, our pa*ti'ents' confidence intact." "Men are frequents Ut" more bashful than young ladies', '.with . regard to their teeth," was the.testimony given by a dentist, of ; large; practice in Christchurch. A good story is going the round of the London clubs just now. A gentleman who had a friend at the front;-in South Africa was somewhat confused by the different "expressions used in reference to the ;> wounded— slightly, severely, aud -dangerously. So he asked an army friend of his what "dangerously wounded" meant.' .'Am-, putation always," was the answer. That .hade him think, he said, as he had just heard that his friend had been dangerously wounded in the neck! A lamb having no less than seven legs was brought to Christchurch on Thursday last by Mr Finlay, Halkett, having been dropped on the farm of his son|n-law, Mr W. A. Davis. The lamb was well grown, but was dead when found: There are three forelegs, the extra one being between the other two, and it has a double font. Another pair of hind-legs have grown between the two ordinary ones. All the legs are full sized, and the extra ones appear to^be attached to the frame of the lamb. A woman at Kirkcaldy, Scotland, was found lying in the street intoxicated, with a child four months,old beside her. The police took her before Baillie Tait, who said that her condition was a disgrace to humanity. The woman replied that she had reared a family of fourteen, and that no harm had happened to any of them. To this tlie baillie retorted that "if she had behaved herself she might have had double that j_Ha&«_ of phUdr.en.', Ufi i t j lr ,