RANDOM SHOTS

Auckland Star, Volume XXX, Issue 76, 1 April 1899, Page 4 (Supplement)

RANDOM SHOTS

SAMEEIL

Some write, a neighbour's name to lasli, Some write—vain thought-for needtul Some write to please the country clash, And raise a din. , For me, an aim I never fash— I write for fun.

" T can. imagine the' Governor thanking- his stars now that his tour is over and that the company on the Tutanekai of which he was the 'star' have practically disbanded, and are now resting after their 'season' in the country districts. The wonder is that Lord Ranfurly had held out so long against the insidious attacks made on his none too robust constitution by banquets and dinners in all sorts of-out-of-the-way places and the wonderful s mixtures in the way of liquors re- i tailed in some of the localities he visited. Perhaps, though, His Excellency carried his wines with him on the ' Tutanekai. But worse than the dinners or the drinks must have been the shoals of addresses of welcome. A Premier or a Qpvernor can't visit even a village settlement in the back blocks without a resident (generally the chairman of the road board rising heavily and reading a. portentous speech on several sheets of foolscap, assuring- the exalted one that Paemako or lvikowhakarere is second to no city in the British Empire as regards" loyalty, and that they hope Queen "Victoria is quite well as it leaves them at present. And the Maoris have copied the example of tfreir pakeha friends. It is time someone invented a new way of greeting Governors and other dignitaries which would do away with these stereotyped 'insufferably chili addresses of welcome. It must have been a severe tax on the vice-regal intellect to invent new replies to all the written welcomes. And rumour says that, the forehold of the Tutanekai had to be kept clear in order to make room for the heaps of foolscap handed to the Queen's representative at each. port.

'&&i&*&*a*i&*£^

The Governor's speeches during his East Coast tour were as a rule models of careful construction, but he per.petrated a very mixed metaphor at one locality visited during the trip. According to the published report of the proceedings His Excellency, in the course of his oration, said he ♦trusted that the remaining years of our Sovereign might be passed in peace; and that the British, .flag, with a strong hand at the wheel, would always remain as it was now—to be proud of and glory in.' This is almost as good as Sir Boyle Rpche's famous metaphor in the House of Commons: 'I smell a rat, I see it floating in the air—l will nip it in the bud!' The spectacle of the British flag with a strong hand at the wheel ■would be interesting, but how the thing is done puzzles me; and I think that when Lord Ranfurly reads that speech of his over again it will puzzle him too.

l%^^<t&&x£x£>&

Our volunteers are in camp, and many a young recruit is getting his first taste of military life under canvas. A, little 'roughing it' will do the average town youths a lot of good, and even if the tucker is a bit rough, the 'bunks' hard, and the tents somewhat leaky, it will all give them an idea of ■what they might have to go through on active service. There are often faults to find with the cuisine at the Easter encampments, but volunteers don't go into camp to growl at the cookery. There is a good deal of solid instruction to be got out'of a three or four days' camp, and in. skirmishing drill especially, these Easter encampments are useful. Even if our young volunteers are not perfect in ceremonial drill, and a newly-fledged captain does occasionally 'dub' the parade, stili their true work is not doing pretty movements on a drill-ground, but in practical work in the field, and in acquiring a knowledge of shooting. The present camp is the first for many of the young volunteers, and no doubt they will duly profit by it, and carry tome gleefully yarns of how they Stole the Sunday plum-pudding cooking in the next Company's lines, how they iield a mock funeral over the brick-like duff supplied by their own cook, and how their tent managed to evade the bugle-order.'lights out' by adroitly smothering the. reflection of the 'glim' what time the tyrant-ser-geant's steps-was heard.

On.; would scarcely have expected that Ihe sudden outbreak of martial ardour amongst the youths of Auckland would have affected such a stead,? going concern as the V.M.C.A. Association/but such appears to have been tie case. Lest a mistake shoilld arise if is as well to explain at once that there has not been any proposal to form a. Y.M£.A. rifle corps, the effect being quite in the other direction, as it was stated at the annual meeting held during the past week that the attendance had fallen off :« either. Bible classes or prayer meetings' since the volunteer movement had taken such a prominent position in the city. This is a sad state of affairs, because it would seem as if ■when mer were going into danger they. ought not to give up religious exercises. The grand old Ironsides of Cromwell won many a battle after mr.rching up to the deadly front to a rousing Psalm tune. I suppose, however, that Auckland boys find volunteering even more exciting than .a. Bible, class, and in these-days when •to be ornused seems the chief end pi man. young fellows will go where there is the. most fun. Then, too, the girls, even religious ones, are sensibly affected by a smart uniform, a fact that has probably not been forgotten by the dashing lads who belong' to some of the newly formed Native. Ccrps. Even the children are becoming'affected by the utilitarian spirit. of the day, for only this week three ui-chins were going along the street singing 'My father is a soldier in th%, Katives number two.'

'c&&&£&^&^e&

L Some of our imported pets are not always pleasant ones. There are the

stoats and weasels, which kill fowls and lambs and live on the friendliest terms with rabbits; the pheasants, which eat the farmer's newly-planted crops; and the deer, which break through and steal the grass required for more marketable stock. Bufc the deer do more than eat up Hie farmers' grass needed for sheep, for, according to news from Taupo, they are not always as gentle as the young gazelle of the poet's dream. A savage stag attacked a Maori woman near the. shores of Lake Taupo the other day and gored her so badly that she is expected to die. . The stag is one of the herd placed by the Government on the National Park surrounding Ruapehu and Tongariro Mountains, the idea being to enhance the many attractions of that part of the country by stocking it with the shy and graceful deer. There was nothing shy about this animal, however, anyhow not in the presence of Maori Indies: Tf the injured wahine dies I suppose her hapii will want utn from the Government, and her relatives may' be reckoned on to shoot deer on sight hereafter, if they get a chance, license or no license.

Wfaa»>&&*ftM&»lWU

From the London cablegrams it would seem that interest Is deepening in the question of the exploration of the Great South Land, known as Antai'tica across which Borehgrevinck and his companions are at this moment passing in quest of the South Pole. 'What's the good of goirig to the Pole?' is the question many may ask. Well, no one knows till Boi'eligrevinck comes back, . and then the world will hear. The reflection that civilisation is waiting to hear for the first time of the wonders of Antarctica, of the inhabitants, human or otherwise, the minerals and other wealth of the frosty regions, of the scientific marvels perhaps to be unveiled, fe a thought which should buoy up the heart of the doughty explorer and sustain his resolution in. time of danger. Moreover his name and fortune are made. Even if he doesn't, discover anything the book on the subject should outrival Xansen's.

<3*<3*-Jk£ i &i£*£*£* ■ ''

Apropos of Antarctic exploration a Southern writer suggests that Antarctica should be added to our list of summer excursions. Xo doubt this will come about before many years pass. The great ice-caps of,the South Polar regions are only a fortnight's steam from the Bluff, and in the same time as that occupied last summer by the big excursion steamer Waikare on her pleasure trip through the South Sea Islands New Zealanders and others who could afford the time and money could land on the immense abode* of silence .that surrounds the Southern Pole. 'The Waikare.' suggests the writer T have referred tor 'could look in at Borchegrevinclc's camp in the space Ov tin ordinary Sounds trip, and photographs of Mounts Erebus and Terror might be as familiar to us this very autumn as those of Ruape.hu and Tongariro.' This would be another addition to our scenic assets, and before long we may see tours announced as 'For New Zealand and the South Pole.' Who knows?

'efce&E&s&e&s&t&sa?

Occasionally at recreation grounds the larj'uage used by some frequenters is, to1 say the least, not fit for polite society. Some lads seem to1 have an extended vocabulary in the shape 6. 'cuss' words which are used very frequently. One such attended a school sports gathering recently, and used language that disgusted some of those who listened to it. Fortunately there was near at hand, a, schoolmaster who promptly seized the lad and inflicted severe chastisement albeU that he was not a pupil. Of course the gentleman ran a risk of being summonsed for assault', but none, the less he did good service, not only to the public, but let ns hope to the* lad himself. It is a pity similiar action could not be taken in respect to the foul mouthed lads whose bad language too frequently has. to be listened to by ladies passing along ths public streets of the city.

e\t»e2«e2sp2sWl*f&;vlv.>L

At least orite of the owners of auxiliary schooners is satisfied that the Government were right in requiring these vessels to carry certificated engineers. The other day this owner in-' structed his engineer to fill the kerosene tanks which supply the fuel. This was done, but when the time came to work the engine the wick refused to light. 'What did you fill those tanks with?' enquired the owner. 'Water,' replied the engineer. .'Oh!/did you?' That man should apply for the position of engineer, at the Western Springs, where his energy is less likely to be misapplied.

<&&t'Jl*&*£i?%&>t&

A rather unfortunate contretemps occurred at the last meeting of the Ratepayers' Association. Several members of the Executive gathered to.gether in the basement portion of the house of assembly and were joined by ordinary members to the number of about thirty. The meeting waited for the arrival of the chairman and secretary, but in vain. It was unexplainable. A most important meeting, the result of which would affect the constitution of the Association, and yet no office-holders present. A quarter past eight chimed out from the clock, and still no appearance of the recalcitrants. There was nothing else for it; as much as possible must be done, and the remainder left over until the absentees saw fit to grace a meeting with their presence. One weary member proposed that another take the chair. The meeting'agreed, and the chair was taken. Extreme regret was expressed that the business of the meeting could not be properly'1 carried through, and a grave discussion was commenced on the proposed inclusion of tenants as members of the society. The discussion waxed strong, pros and cons were advanced, and the question was trembling in the balance, when entered our worthy Mayor. 'Gentlemen,' said he, 'I am afraid the meeting you are supposed to be attending is going on upstairs.' Alas! it was too true. Upstairs some fifty members of the Association, including the chairman and secretary, had already disposed of most of.the business. The sorrowful lower thirtjr filed into the rear of the hall, the business done was recapitulated, and the proper meeting breathed a prayer of thanksgiving that it had been spared the arguments of the other gathering, who had been" unable to dispose'of one item of business. And now this double-barrelled meeting is a matter of history, and it isn't safe to ask some ratepayers if they hav e yet been called to the Upper House. ,;, : ..'j.>iv \ r \ ■;.. j