RANDOM SHOTS

Auckland Star, Volume XXVIII, Issue 258, 6 November 1897, Page 2 (Supplement)

RANDOM SHOTS

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enthusiastic ch]nbers who graved the wet last Wednesday to Sul Kangitoto and christen the mounfaiit °with the inevitable accompaniment of a brass band \ without which no function can ibe conducted in Auckland, must have felt very like 'pioneers in reality as they trudged up and down the scoria ridges in the ram. However they successfully 'opened Eangitoto to the public, and two-year-olds and octogenarians can now ascend the island of the triple peaks without turning a hair. No more will the agile picnicker have to skip goat-like from rock to rock and boulder to boulder, barking his shins, skinning his nose, and reducing his boots to rags, in the frantic effort to scale Eangitoto. He has now a track as good as an asphalt footpath before him, and has no excuse now for bragging about his hairbreadth adventures on the lava slopes of the mountain of the sanguinary sky. Aucklanders are only just beginning to appreciate what a valuable breathing place and recreation spot they have got in Rangitoto. It is, perhaps, a park of far more potential advantage than any other pleasure spot we possess in Auckland, and there are innumerable ways in which it will have to be rendered as attractive to the public as.its area demands. The slopes could be made to grow, all sorts of plants, with a thin coating of earth over the warm volcanic rocks, and grape-vines and semi-tropical vegetation might in the near future be added to the at present too-scanty garment of green of old Eangitoto.

' Hitherto" Rangitoto has not been much of a theme to inspire the muse of poetry. Scoria splinters and lava rocks, stunted pohutukawa and waterless gullies don't encourage the spring poet to any extent. He prefers to warble about the lambkins romping in the pumpkins, and the spring, gentle spring, swiftly coming on the wing—but whose wing is not specified—and the flowers drinking up the dew, and that sort of thing. But there are no lambkins or things of that sort on Rangitoto, unless the festive wallaby may be counted as a subject on which to have a poem. The only poet who has so far succeeded in inditing an ode to Rangitoto is the veteran 'Tim Doolan' of 'The Blowhole' fame, who in private life is content to be known as plain Joseph O'Meagher. 'Tim,' who at present pursues the calling of the law at Paeroa, had' a severe encounter with the Rangitoto rocks one clay, and as the result of a mental wrestle for a rhyme lor 'Rangitoto' he brought forth an 'owed' beginning, asfar as I can remember:

'Oh, Rangitoto! no shillin' photo Can porthray thy beauties rare! Thy rocky showldhers and shtony bowlders Would make an angel shwear!' So far as I know, Mr O'Meagher has been the first victim of the divine afflatus who has succeeded in finding a suitable rhyme for Rangitoto.

A distressing and yet amusing case of domestic infelicity occurred quite recently in this city. A big hulking fellow who had been imbibing too freely came home with the impression fixed on his mind that it was his duty to chastise his wife. One of the American funny men tells a story of how he took home a whip to thrash his wife, but adds that she turned the tables and gave him the punishment instead. This was about what occurred in the present case. The man started knocking his wife about in the public street, but the lady, who was young, well-made, and rather prepossessing, objected to being treated in such a manner by a drunken brute, and very cleverly landed him a right-hander in his eye. Before he recovered from the surprise she tore off a piece of paling from a convenient fence, seized her worser half, and gave him such a severe thrashing that it is questionable whether he did not require to take his meals for some days afterwards in a standing position. The man yelled for mercy and begged someone to fetch a constable, but still the relentless patter of the shingle kept him going round as his wife set to work as if she were breaking in a horse. Of course a crowd soon gathered and, strange to say, many of the women present sided with the man. There were, however, too many men present for any interference, as they exhorted the irate wife, like Macduff, to 'Lay on,' and she did, until she was tired out, when she let her husband go, and he cleared up the street without asking to go inside his happy home. Some of the women began to comment adversely upon the wifes action, but the men took the other side and complimented her on her pluck, while one even went so far as to express the wish that every woman who was tied to a brute that got drunk and came home to thrash her would go and do likewise. Evidently these men are not the ones so frequently referred to at the Vvomen's Leagues as the tyrants who keep the gentler sex from their rights.

The native difficulty,' which was such a bugbear in New Zealand, cannot be such a very formidable question now-a-days, when one police sergeant is able to escort 70 odd Maori to the lock-up, to the accompaniment of fifes and the dancing of hakas, as was the case iv TaraS* • S Week' The 'one Policeman' - policy is xnrely vindicated now, but the forbearance of the Maori is to be SsS? for ithat' for the 9l nati^ prisoners who were sent to gaol at Kew Plymouth for ploughing 8 where they dXI not intend to sow could have mSZr nT Tf shindyhad *£ the t mci* ed- Indeed' the sc<^e at 4rtfcr ymo.uth Courthouse was WvS °1 * com.lc °Pera of the 'topsy»4 Ihe*' th the nuasic of fifes dtl% soW a anci nl *° show that the 8e diRW;J?_ Taranaki were in no h having to do a a__ f^ stives wf, *£ conscience sake. _M k«e' X they 1, ntly have a ■t 40^ a charlcter- |» fo *> «&&S_£"* of bringing it be-

'On the Benches in the Park' is the theme on which a correspondent writes to an Auckland paper. The subject is one which will appeal to many of us, but chiefly the younger generation—say under sixty.His name is 'Constant Visitor' (I fancy I've heard it before), and.he wants better seats and more of 'em in the Albert Park. Moreover, he suggests (sly dog!) that seats shoold be made only for two, 'as persons often want to have private conversations' —an exceedingly naive way of putting it. 'Private conversations' is very good, and I have often enjoyed similar private conversations—l mean looking at them—in the Park on fine evenings. I admire Mr 'Constant Visitor's' pluck in boldly asking for seats for two and no more, and. I am quite in sympathy with him. But I would go further, and suggest that seats should be made for one only. This would be a boon to many a yo/ung fellow who wants his best Park girl to sit on his knee but has no valid excuse to offer for it. If seats were only made big enough for one, thep the girl Avould have to perch on the happy man's knee nolens volens, and no one need look askance, for a girl has got to sit somewhere, don't you know. I would suggest that, as deputations are now the fashion, a public deputation of citizens should wait on the City Council at its next meeting demanding in the name of the inhabitants of Auckland, and especially of the rising generation, and in the- interests of posterity, that half the seats in the Park be made to accommodate two persons only, and that the other half be reduced to room for one, and thus fulfil the legitimate purpose of public parks in the stilly hours of eve. v. ...

This year of the Record Reign seems fated to be prolific of all sorts of records. I did think, however, that sober-going Presbyterians would not catch the fever ; but even they have not escaped infection. This week the Presbytery itself went in for a record sitting, which lasted from 7 o'clock one evening until 4.30 o'clock the next morning. The cause of this protracted korero was a general washing-up day for St. Andrew's, and it is to be sincerely hoped that the church linen will be put away and never soiled again. Fortunately, for the reporters, the sitting was closed against the Press. This probably saved a lot of domestic trouble, because I can well understand that if a reporter toddled home at 5 a.m. and tried to convince his wile that he had hurried from the Presbytery, the dear creature, if she did not say anything, might revolve in her mind the story of Ananias and Sapphira. No one could blame a woman for being sceptical under such circumstances, because it would seem ridiculous to expect any one to believe that such a solemn assembly as the Presbytery would sit up to so unreasonable an hour. It is, however, just as well to explain that the late sitting was only another manifestation of that clogged spirit that made the old Covenanters such hard people to exterminate. Although the proceedings were private, still it is an open secret that the majority of the good men who attended the Presbytery that night had resolved to sit to a finish. Various expedients were resorted to in order to get an adjournment, but the steady Scots sat on and listened gravely to witness after witness until they had finished the business. Had they adjourned, whichever side came last would have had a chance to rake up rebutting evidence, and the affair might have taken much longer.

Some good stories are told regarding this late sitting. In the 'wee sma' hours' two gentlemen in ministerial costume were seen hammering away at the door of a pub. near the wharf. The looker-on, not knowing anything about the late sitting of the Presbytery, and being himself quite aware that it was a warm night, sympathised with their supposed thirst, while he admired their persistent efforts to get in. Of course, it was beds they required, and not drink. These two gentlemen would have more to explain at home, no doubt, than their brethren who were able to reach their residences with the milkman. In one or two other parts of the city late, or rather early walkers, as well as the policeman, were astonished to see men in clerical attire wandering home in the morning, and I have no doubt some amusing surmises were made as to the cause. Next time the Presbytery sits it would be as well to announce next day at what hour it adjourned, lest this bad precedent furnish a fictitious excuse for belated husbands when called upon by the partners of their joys for an explanation of unseasonable hours.

Never before in the history of juvenile Auckland have the youngsters had such a streak of luck as has fallen to their lot this week. Guy Fawkes Day is not a public holiday. It is in the almanacs as the record of an historical event, and the Orangemen, 1 believe, have some celebration of their own to keep green in their memory the Gunpowder Plot. But apart from this, and the pretext that is afforded for a display of fireworks not sanctioned on ordinary occasions, the anniversary obtains no general recognition. For a school committee to grant a holiday to the scholars under their control, or for a teacher to do anything of the kind upon his own responsibility would bring such a hornets' nest about their ears as would make their or his position unbearable for ever afterwards. The celebration of the discovery of the Gunpowder Plot is understood to be objectionable to a certain section of the community, though I am pleased to be able to say that Roman Catholics nowadays as a rule do not reg-ard the annual pyrotechnic display made by our youngsters as having any offensive significance. Whether Guy Fawkes was a Roman Catholic or a Protestant matters naught to the boys of this country— all they care for is their annual fireworks display. To get a holiday from school on Guy Fawkes Day has been one of the greatest desires of the youthful heart ever since the time when Zamiel worried other people instead of being worried for cash to buy fireworks; but to achieve such a result appeared to be beyond the fondest of our youthful dreams. Such a piece of luck was, however, reserved for the boys of Auckland City and suburbs on Friday last; for by some fortuitous circumstance the Children's Flower Show then eventuated, and some of the schools, if not all, gave the scholars a half-holiday— to attend the Flower Show of course. I am assured that there was no connection between the two events in the minds of the Show Committee, but they have earned the everlasting gratitude of the youngsters of Auckland, who, if they did not all attend the Flower Show, certainly worked off a very fine lot of Chinese flower pots

and other beautiful creations of a kindred sort. If the date chosen for this year's Flower Show is made a fixture there will be no difficulty experienced in keeping the event in the recollection of the children, for Guy Fawkes Day will fix it surely, and the latter celebration may in this way be put to a very practical use.