TABLE TALK.

Auckland Star, Volume XXVII, Issue 19, 23 January 1896, Page 1

TABLE TALK.

Star Summary published to-day. Heat still continues in Australia. Prince Henry of Battenberg is dead. His Lordship Bishop Luck died thia morninp, The Yatman revival meetings come to a close on Sunday. The French Government i 3 strengthening its Channel fleet. Very fair entries have been received for the annual regatta. The prospects of the Taranaki oil welte are very satisfactory. -The Berlin Court"Singers performed last night in tho Opera Hou_e. The Caledonian Society holds its usual fortnightly social to-night. The monthly inspection of the Devonporb IN avals waa held last night. Taranaki v. Nelson cricket match resumed to-day ab New Plymouth. There was a meeting of the lnvercargill Fire Insurance League last night. Barns' anniversary will be celebrated by the Barns Club to-morrow evening. There appears to be some line trout in tbe streams flowing into Lake Rotorua. The Hon. Mr Chamberlain has made a rousing speech on recent Imperial events. A Bum of £10,488 was put through the totalisator at tha Wellington races yesterday. Mr A; B. Maaton lectured in the Wesley Hall last night on " Egypb, tbe Home of the Pharaohs." The outward 'Frisco mail leaves Auckland on Saturday. Letters will be due io London on February 26th. A greater interest is being taken in the annual regatta this year than has been the case for several seasons back. The Hon. Mr Cadman was banqueted at the Thames last night, and Bpoke on the prospects of mining in the district. A meeting of the subscribers to the Navy League is to be held this afternoon for the purpose of appointing officers, etc. The meeting of the Colonial Bank shareholders for the purpose of recommending liquidators was held in Dunedin yesterday. Professor Tubbs has telegraphed to his friends in Auckland that he has quite recovered, and expects to return to Auckland shortly; "Tore up your references! Why, you must have been crazy." "Shura and you wouldn't have thought so if you had seen bhe riferinces." The concert by tbe German Court singers advertised to take place on Friday has been postponed to a future date, owing to tbe indisposition of Herr Schmalfeld. "I ain'b superstishus." said Ambling Abe, as he 'gazed at the remnants of a chicken the kind-hearted lady had given him, *' bub if I ain't mistaken that's the family skeleton." Mr R. M. Taylor, a candidate for tho vacant seat for Christchurch, addressed a fairly large meeting of electors last night. He announced himself as a strong Government supporter. M.D. —So Dr. Nuentoter charged you a hundred marks for taking off your right arm? Patient—Certainly. M.D.—Urn—for that money I should have amputated both your arms and legs. X "I'd like to know what you're good for, anyhow," said the working bee. " I'm walking delegate, to her majesty the queen," responded the drone, with a look of: Ecorn at the lowly worker. " Keep your temper, laddie. Never quarrel wi' an angry person, especially a woman. Mind ye, a soft answer's aye best. It's commanded—and, forbye, it makes them far madder than onytbing else ye could say." " Why," asked the philosopher, '* why is it that a man—the noblest created objectwhy is ib that a man should have such doubts of his ability to win a woman's affection when he considers the success in that line of a cross-eyed, pudding-shaped, stump-tailed pug dog ?" But tbo assembled listeners answered him not. A youth named Robert Bryant, who was grass-seeding ab Port Levy (Canterbury), was seriously burnt by a tent catching fire through a candle being left burning. Solomon, the other occupanb of the tent, sustained severe burns in rescuing his companion. Bryant was taken to Lyttelton, nad is now in a precarious condition, "Horatio," whispered the etage heroine, "the villain still pursues us. "Ha," exclaimed the lover ; "bub fear nob. See thou the ravine that intervenes between ua and him?" "Yes, Horatio, but; the bridge. He can cross yon bridge aba bound." " Fear not, I say. He has got to stop in the middle of tbe bridge and do a song and dance. Courage !" Save 25 to 40 per cent, by now giving orders for choice canned fruits for winter use.—-Auckland Fruit Depot and Orchard Agency, Shortland-street.—(Advt.)