RANDOM SHOTS

Auckland Star, Volume XXV, Issue 185, 4 August 1894, Page 10 (Supplement)

RANDOM SHOTS

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Somo write, a neighbour a name to lash Fome write—vain thought! for needful caan, Somo write to please the country clash. And raise a din. For me, an aim I never f aah— I write for fun.

The gentleman who supplies New Zealand with cablegrams from tho other end of bhe world is occasionally caughb snapping. Truth to tell, he seems to devote far more time than is neceßsary to chronicling Roynl births and Royal sprained ankles, and liia nnregretted demises of Royal hangers-on. Bub he is always on the look-out for obituaries—deaths of notabilities, whom the colonial pressmen can easily look up In some dictionary or biography. Sometimes, however, he gets the wrong man, with the result that a few hundred journals give some Duke or Archbishop or other a premature obituary. A rather diverting instance of this occurred the other day. The cable man senb along the death of Cardinal Ledochowski—who? ever he was—and also the demise of the Grand Duke of Baden—whoever he was. Two such thrilling items of news were made the most of by an Auckland daily paper— not the Stab—which regaled its readers with an elaborate biography of the two dead 'uns, artistically culled from sources handy in every newspaper office. So far it was all very line and large. But next day, unfortunately, the cable brought news that the two dead 'uns were still alive and kicking, that, in fact, ib waa not they who were dead at all bub some other persons altogether. Cardinal Leddy-whab's-his-name had nob died at all—in poinb of facb the London press had been cruelly hoaxed. As for the Grand Dook reputed to have been killed, ib was nob ho at all bub some Austrian Archduke or ether whose horse threw him. So the mild corrections appeared quietly next day, bub the pnper somehow omitted to give a biography of the other Duke, or rather Archduke, who had met his death. Ab the matter stands now, tho Cardinal and the Duke are still alive, unless the cableman hires some Anarchist) to kill them in order to make his cable tally wibh the truth. Moreover, the two notables—if they read English—may have the pleaaure of parusing their own obibuary notices, like many another great one of tho earth !

The affection of the Maori for his ugly mid mangy dog ia well known, and explains his undying antipathy to the obnoxious dog-tax, bub it seems that down in Fiji the aboriginal is just as much addicted to the kuri as our own sons of the soil. The Fijian native, ' cullud gentleman,' ib seems, takes his tribe of dogs to church, a la Maori. Bub curs are a nuisance in churcb, as those who have observed their habits can testify, and so a little paper published in Fiji by the Wesleyan missionary authorities and issued to the natives, has started an anti-dog crusade. After a pitiful wail to the effect that dogs have as a rule no regard for holy ordinances, the editor of the 1 Tukutuku Vakalotu ' proceeds to remark : 1 If the dogs have souls, then ib is well that they should attend the house of God. If they, by their presence there, assist us to be earnest and devoted in our intercessions and make us more attentive to the Gospel preached, then by all means let them come. Bub, on the contrary, lihey have no souls, neither do they assist us in our religious exercises. They run aboub the church ; they yell when we sing, they fight, and play with the children, and people's abtention is distracted when prayer is being offered up, or when the lessons are being read, or during the preaching of the sermon, and other things they do which make U8 ashamed, and, altogether, it looks as if the house of God was being brought into contempt.' The people are asked to tie or lock their dogs up when they go to church. Some European congregations might do worse than act on the same advice.

The vagaries of the sharemarkeb have, perhaps, never been so strikingly exemplified as in the recent chrome fiasco ab Waitekanri. For Rome weeks pasb rumours were circulated that the Portsea mine was a good thing, and the resulb was that speculators began to nibble. Then a reef was cub, whereupon the aforesaid speculators commenced to bite, and when a telegram came saying thab the reef was worth lOoz of gold bo bhe ton, the gildod baib was greedily swallowed by all but the old fish. By using the term fish I would not for a moment wi*h to in&inuabe bhab there were fishers who intentionally gilded the baib to catch tho unwary, because we all understand thab such things are nob done in mining circles. Presently there came along a telegram stating that the reef was worth 20 ounces of gold to the ton, whereupon the young fish became ravenous, bub the old ones wagged their heads dubiously. Up to this stage everything appears to have been fair and Above board, bub the nexb sbep does not seem quite so clear, for, notwithstanding the excellent) value put upon the ore shares began to steadily decline in value in consequence of large parcels being rushed upon the market. Then ib became known that like the charge of the Six Hundred, 'someone had blundered,' thab chrome had deceived old miners and experts, even as ib has before, and bhab the dreams of Coolgardie simply became resolved into a colouring pigment akin to that which is so conspicuous on the 12bh of July. Thab bhe deception caused by the chrome was complete is shown by the facb that tho manager and men in bhe mine boughb shares and hung on to them lesb haply they should, by selling, be throwing away a fortune, The resulb may be summed up in bhe facb that shares which cost 28 6d were subsequently sold ab one-fifth of bhab sum. Whab bhe unlucky ones complain aboub is nob thab the chrome fooled the miners, bub that the fact leaked oub in such a manner that all did nob have a fair start in trying to unload their stock on to someone else. As v matter of facb, some knowing ones had a handicap which allowed them to run quite clear, before the others even got a start.

This affair resulted in somo funny chrome stories being told, which are of interest as showing how even smart men may be sold by tho yellow pigment. One tale ab least is worth repeating. Four miners were camped on an old mine that was almost approaching liquidation. One of them was digging oub a hole to make a fireplace when he burned up a piece of stone thab was literally covered with gold, as he thought. His shout speedily brought around him his three mates, and the most excitable one said in a stage whisper, 'Cover ib up for goodness sake.' This done, the whole nighb was spent in bhe pleasanb occupation of building castles in the air. By daylight they had decided thab one mate should go to town and buy up all the shares he could in the dying company, after which they would make known the wonderful discovery and be rich men for the resb of their days. They, however, decided to wesb one dish and try and ee>

timate the richnesa of che find. As bhe rich ore was pounded up they were delighted to see the gold iv quantity. Then one of them tramped off to the creek to wash it. Presently he caune back with a look on his face that would have secured him good business as an undertaker. When asked the cause he said, ruefully, ' Well, that's the firsb time I washed a dishful of gold and lost it all.' Subsequent examination convinced them thab they had nob struck anything there thab would make them rich, and they left the spot wiser, though sadder, men.

The difficulties which parents in sonio counbry districts have to contend with to enable their children to attend school, was forcibly brought to notice ab the last meeting of the Board of Education. The Committee of the school district known as Whananaki, a settlement beyond Whangarei, applied to the Board some weeks ago for a sum to buy a boab, but the request was refused. The Committee, nob satisfied, again approached the Board, and sent the following lebber in support of the application : — • Our Committee very much regret your Board cannot grant our request for a boat. They are aware the application is exceptional, but tho requirement is more exceptional, inasmuch as our main atreet is bhe inleb, and a large portion of bhe regular abtendants ab school reside upon the opposite side of the inleb to thab upon which the schoolhouse is erected. Each settler has a boat, or whab does for a boat, of his own, and as each side of bhe inleb has its own direct road to Hikurangi, etc., there are very few travellers who desire to cross our river, so you will see thab bhe school children are the only persons who require a boat. If these cannot cross and re-croea to school the average attendance will be greatly affected. The County Council can do nobhing for us, so we are in a dilemma. In the event of your Board being still unable to grant us a boat, will they grant towards ib say £ for £? It would be a cad thing were so many unable to reach school. A school, you must admit, is bub of little use if the scholars cannot) get to ib. There is always a difficulty in getting country children to school, and the facb of there being no means of crossing the river will form a valid excuse.' In a discussion which followed the reading of the communication, one member thought that more unreasonable requests had come before the Board, while another pointed out thab a number of committees in similarly situated districts had an equal right to a boat to enable the children to reach school. Mr Lambe strongly opposed the request. However, the Board agreed to grant the Committee £1 for £1 towards the cost of purchase, whereupon Mr Lambe added ' We have established a bad precedent,' and I agree with him. There is too much coddling altogether in this country and too prevalent a disposition to look to the Government for everything. Whab guaranbee has bhe Board bhab this boat will only be used in the interest of the school ?

The newly enfranchised sex is smarting under an indignity that can only bo wiped out by the mosb abjoct apology individually and collectively at bhe hands of our legislators. The ladies' gallery in the House of Representatives is nominally set'aparb for tho wives of members, and for the entertainment of his better half each member of Parliament is allowed one ticket, and these tickets are used by the lady friends of members generally. Whab is known as bhe public gallery is open to all who choose to conducb themselves decently, provided, ib seems, they are nob dressed in Detticoats. Until we gave unto our lady friends the power to vote in Parliamentary elections, bhey cared nob for the privilege of a seat in the gallery overlooking the augusb assembly of bheir chosen representatives ; bub having actually assisted to pub a large number of bhese same M.H.R.'s inbo snug quarbers for a period of three years, it was naturally assumed thab the Boxes would bo put upon an equal footing so far as bheir accommodation in the public gallery waß concerned. A number of Wellington women holding these views presented themselves at the door of the gallery, and actually obtained admission. The doorkeeper, I presume, was a bib flurried on being meb with such an unusual occurrence, and being forced to choose between offending the ladies and standing upon the stricb letter of his orders, decided to let them in firsb and consulb Mr Speaker afterwards. Now, Sir Maurice O'Rorke is particularly partial to the ladies, and had his attention nob been pointedly drawn to the fact that they had invaded the public gallery, he would probably not have taken official notice of the occurrence, bub some member less susceptible to the charms of the ladies, unkindly brought the matter up, and Mr Speaker, having consulted his standing orders, found that the ladies were interlopers. Hence they were requested to move on, and they moved. They were politely told that they should havogone inbo the ladies' gallery, but on making application for tickets of admission thereto, found they were all taicon up, and left the House in high dudgeon. This ia surely a cruel injustice thab calls for immediate rectification, and I am glad to see that one chivalrous member of the House is already moving in the matter.

Her Worship bhe Mayor of Onehunga haß gone bo Wellington to do some ' lobbying' on behalf of the Onehunga Cemetery Bill, which little Bill, ib may be recollected, was unceremoniously strangled by the last Parliament in bhe course of a weary pilgrimage through its various stages. Ib was ' balked-oub,' if I remember rightly, and wenb down and down on the Order Paper till ib waa buried so deep thab its resurrecbion was impossible. It has now been re-introduced, and with the able guidance of Sir Maurice O'Rorke, and the lobbying of Mrs Mayor Yates, its passage should be assured. Onehunpa some years ago got an endowmenb of land for recreation and cemetery purposes, and before they used the cemetery an Act was passed which put the section inside the proscribed cemetery area in consequence of its proximity bo bhe township. Some of the Onehunga people now wanb to legalise its use as a graveyard, but a few object on sanitary grounds, and Southern members are in such cases much more ready to listen to the objectors than to a petition asking them bo make an exception to a good and mosb necessary law, by which it is required thab all cemeteries shall be outside town boundaries. There is, however, a good deal to be eaid in favour of the Onehunga Bill, and with the persuasive eloquenceof Mrs Yates, members, I am sure, will not be able to longer resist Onehunga's request. This sending of a lady bo ' buttonhole ' members on behalf of a Bill passing through Parliamenb, is, I believe, unique in our legislative history, and the result will be awaited with interest.