A SCOTCHMAN'S PHILOSOPHY.

Auckland Star, Volume XXIII, Issue 270, 12 November 1892, Page 2

A SCOTCHMAN'S PHILOSOPHY.

An old Scotchman is said to have risen in prayer-meeting one night and apropos of nothing delivered himself of the following remarks: ' There are three things I never could quite understand. First, why boys will throw sticks at green apples when, if they waited, the apples would ripen and drop off;. secondly, I never could quite comprehend why men go to war to kill each other when, if they remained quietly ab home they would die a natural death in good time ; tliirdly, and most important of all, I do not see why the men chase around after the women, since, if they sat stili, the women would run around after them.' How true that death comes to all men, to some so prematurely, who noglecb the warning symptoms of approaching disease, such as a tired aching feeling in the morning, headaches and nervousness, sour taste in the raouth, &c. All these are signs that the physical body is deranged, and if treated lightly serious danger is to be apprehendod. Alfred Saunders Esq., Octagon, Dunedin, says: — Clements' Tonic and Fletcher's Pills cured me of nervous debility after I had consulted ten medical men, and spont £200 on their feos and medicines. The advertising quacks robbed me altogether. Ib is disgraceful that the law allows the depredations of these harpies. I can honestly recommend Clements' Tonic. Ifc must be good. Mine was a bad case, as most of the doctors here can prove. Of course I had to take a long course, bub that was to be expected, for I had been terribly humbugged, bub I am ab last restored to health and strength solely by Clements' Tonic.