Mr Council and Mr Ewington.

Auckland Star, Issue 153, 1 July 1887, Page 2

Mr Council and Mr Ewington.

(To tho Editor.)

Sir, — I had just been congratulating my lucky stars upon having retired temporarily, and with that measure of grace which my awkwardness permits of, from the heavy lire of a hard-headed old Scotchman on tho important subject of definition of party lines and party principles. I had scarcely had time to exclaim, '.' Well, thank goodness, that's over !" when, lo ! up springs a member of another nationality and disturbs what I had been inclined to look upon as well-earned repose, with the dischargo of a perfect torrent of pathos, humour, indignation, and a thousand other sharp but keen and subtle weapons of attack. Now, sir, I venture to appeal, through your generous and most accommodating, columns, to the electors of Eden, to whom I havo made an appeal to see fair play — whether this is exactly what, we old colonials are accustomed tp term " a straight thing." Here am I, a most peace-loving and gentle individual, who have been fool enough to tell the electors that I have set my heart upon something which it is in their power to give, and I issue to them two very carefully prepared and, as Mr Ewington most pertinently points out, somewhat lengthy addresses, which I had rashly hoped might have proved what we old colonials in our vulgar way-(which as it is bred in our very bones we can't altogether get rid of) are •accustomed to torm*\"a strike." I say that is the position. Let Mr Ewington himself exercise that faculty with which his letter affords such ample proof that he is so richly endowed -1 will afford him some materials for a picture.

Aspiring candidate in a tolerably comfortable and self-satisfied attitude of mind— general feeling as to tho election—hopeful —jolly-that ho will win and probably win well,inclined to sit down after a pretty hard day's work, political and otherwise, to a tolerably decent dinner considering that as he aspires to set an example to the country, Mrs Candidate has special instructions to exerciso her abilities on tho knotty problem of effective retrenchment, combined with unimpaired efficiency in every department. The unhappy man, little knowing what it contains, looks forward with a quiet, genial satisfaction to the perusal of the evening newspaper, accompanied by the weak (possibly, if some over pious-people are to be believed, the sinful) indulgence of a mild but fragrant cigarette. Mrs Candidate, a young friend, and the elder children, on pleasure bent, have announced a fixed and unalterable determination to see the a.tractive but alluring performance which takes place tins evening m the very place where the candidate proposecipttttiiig his best foot foremost to the electors on Monday next. He proposed to himself devoting." rare opportunity to the writing of« difficult and what he, poor fellow, thought an important document on political business (let not Mr Ewington wince, it was not intended for publication). In this confiding and peaceful frame of mind, the wretched man opens the Star and finds Mr Ewington's letter. The despair, the remorse of that miserable creature may be pictured by every right-minded individual in' the community of Auckland.

The impression the letter lias made on his mind may be imagined—it can never be properly described. He has been charged by many individuals, who have had tho best opportunities of know'in o- him with being deficient in the imaginative faculty, to pufc.it plainly-that in the beautiful department of thought he is distinctly a failure. But although these charges have somewhat disturbed that equanimity and calm self-assurance which appear, to the superficial observer at least, +"-be absolutely characteristic of the mdi 1 "'*' A; in his secret heart he has ,y'' .oit to hope that under favourable Civ- ., instances and with judicious and skilful culture it might yet be developed.". That time he now feels has come, and Mr Ewington has at least done him this important service. He can no longer doubt that he has an imagination. It is now more than three long hours since he read Mr Ewington's letter. During that time he has been pursued with picture after picture of the most vivid and startling character. The contemplation has had so deep an effect that several of the younger children have at intervals come iii to look at him, for,alas! it has not been possible to prevent aiyino- some sound to the feelings which the ; perusal of Mr Ewington's letter has produced. So really terrible is the final result, that he'is now reduced to such a state of weakness and collapse that he abandons in despair the hope he entertained when he commenced to write this letter, thab he could, for bhe insbruction and happiness of others,'paint in fitting terms some of the pictures which he saw after reading.Mr Ewington's letter. He feels, however, that it is unfair to Mr Ewington and to the Eden electors to do this. Ib would, after all, be the work of a man who is most certainly deficient in imagination, and the pictures are too instructive and delightful (to others) to be painted by the hand of a second-rate artist. There is a man in New Zealand, and only one that I know of, who can do it with something very nearly approaching to a master's hand, and I turn over the work to him. , ~,* v* , ... Most of your readers will remember our worthy and most excellent friend, Mr Mathew Bagneb, in Bleak House. When in a difficulty and not feeling quite able to venture upon a decided opinion, he used to fall back on " the old girl." " Old girl, tell him my opinion." .-,__,,. # Now, my opinions I prefer to tell myself; but I feel there is another man to whom, by

virtue of his much greater talent and ability for the work, I owe it bhab he and not I should bell Mr Ewington the pictures I saw.

If Mr Ewington will have a little patience he may depend upon ib he shall have bhe description, and so shall bhe electors of Eden, or I have altogether mistaken my man. So much for fun.

Now to business. Thanks for advice re lengthy communications. I gob the very same this morning from an old friend and well-wisher. His" brevity would have satisfied Mr Ewington himself. " Cut ib short, Connell," was his advice ; and I'm cutting ib as short as I possibly can. If Mr Ewington only knew what I might inflict upon him, I am satisfied he would feel for ever grateful that 1 cub it as short as I do. Judge, my dear sir, from tho following :>- You appear anxious -to .get at my real views and opinions re the quasi important subject of Land Nationalisation, as applicable to this colony. Well, I will try to suit you. 'My opinion is capable of being summed up in a single word bosh. I promise to elaborate, and justify, on a suitable occasion, bub at present I must prove to you that I am not altogether incapable of taking advice. The altogether best thing you say is in the last sentence of your letter. You ask for credentials—common sense comes in here ; well come to my meeting on Monday evening, and you shall have what I am able to give, and I cherish good hopes that, our little skirmish to the contrary notwithstanding, we shall be friends. I stipulate, however, in all seriousness, that'ydu shall place yourself in some part of the building where 1 cannot see you, or the result may bo most - unpleasant to myself and disappointing to my audience. As we have serious business before us on Monday, I trust you will grant this request. 'J. AiTKfe CoNSELIi. P.S.—ln case you should meditate giving me another whack, by way of rejoinder, lot me ask you to be merciful; spare me ab leasb until you have heard me on' Monday. N.8.-I. am deeply conscious, not only of the trying length of my communications, bub also of the vicious habit I have of unduly making use of parentheses. ' lb is a failing peculiar to Scotchmen, and apparently ineradicable. I can'b help it, and so you must endeavour kindly to put up with it. You need not be too conscientiously exercised about pointing out to mo the blunders I make, andi " ie faults 1 exhibit alike in my character and correspondence. I have a wholo, hosb of faibhful friends who discharge that needful office with a candour and persistency calculated to reassure you, if you are under the unhappy delusion that lam unadvised.— J.A.C.