BUST-UP OF THE WAIKATO MONSTER.

Auckland Star, Volume XVII, Issue 292, 11 December 1886, Page 4

BUST-UP OF THE WAIKATO MONSTER.

(A. He-Bray-ie Melody)

The Saurian Tame dotvn liko a wolf on the fold, And his scales they were gleaming in green and in sold. And tho rows o£ his ic'th wore liko siwa which you S;:o When tho tmshmar-cnts kauri or hard purlr! 1 He camo without hurry, or bustle, or noiso, And attemntocl to gobble "thoao Oaßtleton boys;" But thi' lads wfra too slipp'ry; the monster was " done," And ho went to the slauKhter-houße nest for some fun! Like'Mahomefs corpse, 'twlxt the earth and the Bky, A Bheep was at night loft suspended on high ; Like Jlahomet's soul when the prophet was dead; That sheeo ere the morning hid vanished and fled! And there lay the bones picked so tidy and clean, While the Saurian's footsteps aH round them were Been: But the monster himself, since that terrible nisht. Has gone, like' the vanishing lady," from sight! Acd the sportsmen of Hamilton feel rather bad. And tha "Herald" in sackcloth and asliea is clad. And "our own correspondent" is bloaeinghij oyes la the prospect of getting " tho Irishman's rise!"

The union of the Church and the Stage hrt-> beon thoroughly consummated in our midst, in spit* of all protests by the sanctimonious and Puritanic sections of the community. For two nights this week the Opera House hsiß beon engagod for the production of a play for the leuefit of St. Thomas's Church Building Fund, and 1 suppose tho porformanc* would bo duly announced from the pulpit last Sunday. For my part, I think this ia a matter for congratulation, and in duo course of time, if the rappro chemtnl continues, we may expect to hear the Sunday services announced from the stage every Saturday night, and the Opera Houpe programme given forth from every pulpit in the city. Instrumental music was at one time as heartily condemned by roligioua people as the atago has been in our day, and yet wo have lived to see the organ and the full orchestra joining in the worship of the most austere sects. Another symptom of broadening ideas is found in the large turn out of " churchy" people to the nigger minstrel show that has occupied the boards of tho City Hall during the last two weeka. The Jubilee Singers are, of course, a respectable company, and their eoogs are not meant to be ribald burlesques ; but to all intents and purposes they are on the same footing as any other minstrel crowd. They undertake to provide an entertainment in return for the people's cash ; and they mix fun, pathos and humbug in such just proportions that most'poople are delighted and tickled with the thought that thsy have not only been doing an act of Christian benevolence but also having a good night's enjoyment.

Talking of the Jubilee Singers reminds me of a little humorous incident in that connection. On Sunday afternoon I clomb the classic heights of Mount Eden to enjoy the breeze and the scene and inspect the new reservoir. Two ot the Jubilee ladies, accompanied by some " white trash," had also gone up the green Blopes for similar purposes, and after reaching the giddy summit one of the dark ladies conceived the idea of descending into tho crater. Her companions showed some trepidation, but a knot of Auckland youths who stood by encouraged them by quoting from the hymn " Go Down, Moses 1" and the two singers with a European lady tempted tho gods by going down to the rocky basin's bottom. Down in the gloomy depths they rested awhile, but the tallsat lady soon got up, remarking " I hain't got long to stay here," and started to climb to the crater's rim. The others challenged her to a race, and a regular go-as-you-please scramble took place for who should first reach the summit. Those who have tried this feat know the dfficulties ot the ascent and can understand how exciting was the race for the Jubilee Cup. The little dark un was quite blown and seemed inclined to cry.—"Oh ! Glory ! Give me de winga to move along '" but the tall one went at a spanking pace and reached the goal an easy winner, not without a good few stumbles and crawiinga on all-fourn. Looking back at her two rivals toiling along, she laughed when one of them slipped and rolled down a few feot, to the tune of " I'm a-rolling ! I'm a-rolling through an unfriendly world !" I am sorry to say that the " white trash " camo in a bad third, which does not say much for Anglo-Saxon stamina; but, all (he same, I hopo that when they next run a race up and dowu the crater of Mount EJen, I may be there to see !'

"D this confounded country 1" Such are the last recorded words of poor young Bohrens who blow out his brains in an Auckland boarding houee this week, and the expression is fitted to set people thinking. I say "poor" in the figurative Ben jo, for it seems that the suicide had plenty of money, rich friends at home, and attached acquaintances here. Why in the name of wonder Hhould such a man blow tho top off his head, and why should he anathematise this " confounded country ?" It appears that he bad not bean many rhonths here, was numbered with the " unemployed," and had been working on the Government relief works at Kangiriri. The country had thus treated him kindly— had been generous to a fault ia giving work to a man who had money of his own and moneyed friends in London ; yet he requites the kindness by beapatterioghis brains about the place and leaving the world with a curse which implies that the " confounded his mad act. It is really too bad. We have in our midst a few genuine unemployed who are crowded out of the relief works, and are on the verge of starvation ; yet they never growl at tho country, though they do anathematise its rulers. Poor Behrensi! I can imagine that he came to New Zealand with some exaggerated notions of ita wealth, and was grievously disarjpointod because nuggets were not to be

picked up in the streets, and in disgust he took himself off to tho other shore. Of course he was temporarily insane—no one but a "scatter-brain" would have acted in eucb a fashion—and his crushing condemnation of this confounded country will not carry much weight with sane people.