TABLE TALK.

Auckland Star, Volume XVII, Issue 242, 14 October 1886, Page 1

TABLE TALK.

No small beer.—Lord Burton

Sigh of tho seamstress. — A-hem ! Mr Burnett at New market to-night Salvation soiree in the Choral Hall.

Auckland seems in the mio.-t of rol*°ious dissipation.

.A Flourishing Industry.— Ornamental peunanship.

The Successful Barrister's Hymn.— " Brief life is here our portion." Air Buroctt, tho temperance ativocato, vieitß Thames shortly.

Before doing co, he will visit the spirits in prison at Mt. Eden.

And he'll not wait to bo told by tho Minister of Justice, either.

Europe pays £800,000,000 a year to maintain standing armies. Thero are signs that the armies are about tired of standing.

The cost of the armies when they take to flying at each other is much greater than above

Often the cockloft is empty in those whom Nature hath built many stories high.

You cannot dream yourself into a character ; yos must hammer and forge yourself into one.

There were at the end of last week 135 male and 16 female prisoners in Mount Eden Gaol.

It is rumoured that somebody at Thames has failed for about £10,000. The only surprising thing shout it is that anybody at Thames should be trusted to that extent.

The guests of the Mayor of Sydney were yesterday takan on a trip found that " beautiful harbour."

Neil Matterson, the Australian sculler, has sailed for Australia from Louden in the s.s Lusitania.

At Wellington yesterday, Clement Harding was committed for trial on charges of forging and uttering cheques. It is paid that a railway is to be made to Mandalay, Burmah, &t an estimated coat of soldo two millions sterling. Thirty thousand pounds worth of Australian wines have been imported itito England this year.

Mr Brewster, general manager of the New Zealand Sugar Company, is dangerously ill of brain fever, and is being attended by Dr. Hnines.

Neither borrow money of a neighhour, nor a friend, but of a stranger; where paying for it, -you shall hear no more of it.

The latest rumour about Waitemata electorate is that Mr A. K. Taylor, of Mount Albert would ba an acceptable candidate. Mr Buchanan, of New South Wales, writes to the " London Times " that them is plenty of work in that colony for gonuine workers.

Occasionally a man ia found who, when his constitution has run down, ia foolish enough to try to wind it up with a very bad key- whiskey.

It is related as a singular fact that fat men never commit crime. It doesn't eotira so singular when you reflect that It is difficult for a fat man to stoop to do anything low.

The Bishop of Ripon, at the Church Congress, in alludiDg to the appointment of the Rev. F. F. Goe to the Bishopric of Melbourne, said the Church always sent the strongest and best men to the colonies.

Weekly excursions per s.a. Vivid are aunounced every Thursday afternoon to St. Helier's Bay, and the trips will be increased as summer approaches. j Not a complete froat yet ! Christohurch Meat Freezing Company.atameetißg.yesterday, declined to amalgamate with Wilson Bros, of Napier anj London, and decided to keep the company in existence.

Mr Donald Larnach, Chairman of the Bank of New South Wale», leaves London by the Austral, which sails on November 13.

| Wm. Cato, who took a dose of chlorodyne at- Wellington yesterday, said in Court: " I only did it to try and frighten my wife, and make her believe I was going to kill myself, as she h always next door and I can't get her home." Canterbury Cricket £ nsnciation have decided to play 22 men against the Australians, and have declined to agree to the suggestions from the Wellington Association for a representative team to play the Australians, or to hold a North Island v. South Island match.

At Melbourne wool sales yesterday, the catalogue comprised 4150 bales, of whiefa 3900 were sold. Inferior to good greasy merino realised from 6Jd to Is per lb, medium to good scoured sold at from 1b 2d to Is 7|d per lb. _ Charles Cheymol, spirit merchant, Wellington, has been committed for trial charged with forging a certificate of deposit at the Queen's bond warehouse for ten casks brandy. Thirteen other charges pending. The Minister of Mines is favourable to the establishment of a steam service between L>unedin and the West Coast S ttloments. He expects the Government will givo a subsidy of £2,000. I* ie said that £5,000 have been offeaed for the Auckland right to the use of the new Hooker gas-lighting apparatus. It ia claimed that a brilliant incandeßcant light, perfectly steady and shadowlers, can be got at a cost of Is per 1,000 feet.

At a recent meeting of theCityof Eondon Guardians, the Rev. R. H. Hadden comtaehted severely upon the entertainments provided for paupers at Christmas tims. He thought that in pauper establishments s great deal took place, at Christmas time which is quite out of place, and added, "he did not ■want to make the people happy on Christmas Day, but every day he would like to_ make them profoundly and horribly miserable. He would treat the people as criminals, and he hoped the wheel and oakum shed would be kept going."