An Adventure With a Burglar.

Auckland Star, Volume XVII, Issue 235, 6 October 1886, Page 4

An Adventure With a Burglar.

WIIEN I first moved in tho country I was afraid of burglars, and slept with a revolver under my pillow. I used to lire it on retiring, thinking that would scare thorn away. But all this produced such vivid and frightful nightmares that I long ago discarded tho weapon as boing moro dangerous to those in tho household than to robbers.

Finally, I reasoned away my needless fears, and got i.i tho comfortable habit of going to bed, and sleeping aa innocently as ababe.never locking tho doors and windows, which wouldn't keep out thieves anyway, and in warm weather loaving them wide open. I began to imagine that a robber couldn't find our house in tho dark, for it ia scarcely visible in tho day time, boing off tho road, and hidden under the edge of a milo tract of woodland.

For city people, who got in a panic at tho name of burglars, it would be lonesome enough, and one look from our piazza at night into tho pitchy blackness of woods would make thorn shiver.

Although I had conquered myself into such blissful security, it was not ao with my timid and unphilosophical wife. She is sure to destroy my delightful dreams with chcorful intelligence that thoro aro robbers in the bouse, and with sharp nudges and frightened whispers keep mo awake listening to imaginary footsteps.

Then, after eloquent but vain attompts to reason away hor alarm, I would bo compelled, for sleep's sake, to start off on a spooky exploration below, making, of course, just noiso enough to scare away any robber who might bo around, and never forgetting to visit tho pantry, whero I'd take rovongo on her pies and preservos so carefully laid away for company which never camo.

The othor night she aroused mo as usual, and not feeling particularly hungry I determined to vary tho inouotony a littlo, so I only wont to tho top of tho stairs and humorously callod down, wi/rh'ng Mr Robber, if he v as thoro, a good evening, and with mock politeness asking him to walk right up and let mo go to sleep.

I confess I was a bit startled whon a gruff " good ovoning " shot up in reply from tho darkness below accompanied with a shriek from my wife as sho bolted the bodroom door, loaving mo alono in tho dark with my robber friend.

I immediately realisod that I was completely at his mercy, and that some kind of strategy was necessary to save our lives.

So with ns bold a voico as I could assuino I repeated my invitation to " walk right up," fooling sure that it nevor would bo accopted. But to my terror it was, for I heard tho follow grope his way to the stairs and begin to mount them, excusing himself as he advanced for tho unavoidable lateness ot his visit.

A bold sweat poured from mo, and my hair stood up and my knees smote together. On tho instant I made up my mind what to do. Bracing myself a. tho robber camo ncaror with what littlo strength I had loft, I plunged my bare foot against his stomach, which, as 1 had planned, doubled him up, and sent him rolline to tho foot of tho stairs,

Then I rushed to tho guost chamber, and dragging out tho chairs, tables, pillows, pitchers, and whatever I could find in the dark, hurletl them down on top of tho surprised and fallen burglar, piling thorn up and bloclrine; tho stiirs ; so, for tho present at loast, I felt safe from attack.

Then I shouted " victory," and yelled for my wifo to open tho door, which sho didn't do until a smothered voico under tho heap of furniture groaned for " Maria " to save him.

Maria wan my wifo's name, and tho voico that we both now recognised was from her hrotlior, who had lost his way in trying to find our house, and thinking the front door had been loft open for him had walkod in. He and tho furnituro were badly damaged, nnd ho felt so thankful that I wisoly didn't keep a pistol around that ho helped to carry up somo of tho chairs. But the best is that my wifo don't hear any more burglars' footsteps, and now . leeps ns soundly as I do,— " Detroit Freo Prof.--."