All Sorts of Items.

Auckland Star, Volume XVII, Issue 235, 6 October 1886, Page 3

All Sorts of Items.

Condemn no' her who:e hours

Are not all given to spinning nor to care; Hath not God planted every path with flowers Whose end is to be fair 1

" It is said that there is not a single heathen to-day in Fiji." We have no better opinion of a married heathen than we have of a single one. And if a Fijian can't take a wife without .becoming a heathen he had better remain single.

The poverty of business. Affectionate wife to husband—" You say you can't take me for an outing this summer ? Why, there's Smith—he s going to take his wife for the whole summer." Husband—" Ye 6; but, my dear, Smithhas just failed. I have not."

Feline amenities. "Look, dear! There's your husband going to Buppor with Mrs Scudamore—a dangerously attractive woman. Let me warn you," "How good of you. How I wish he was going in to supper with you, dear, instead."

Very important. Clara (Bobby's big eister)—"l heard father calling you a little while ago, Bobby." Bobby—" Did he say Robert or Bobby?" "He said Robert." " Then I guess I had better see what he wants."

The Farmer's Wife. Stumps, the farmer, has married a city girl who is trying to learn country ways. She has heard her husband say that he must buy a dog, and responds : " Oh, yes ! do, Charles, buy a setter dog. He can be a watch dog at night and set on the! eggs all day, for I can't make the hens (set, though fVe hold 'em down an hour at a time." «'

"There is a man, Mr Spicir," said a pia__a promenader, indicating an untiring con- . versa! iohstlist who. was wearing the cares of a patient *victi_o," who is a mine of infor.mation'?d tt'e-fe-teneycloptcdia." Waiting ( Bn.il! ©fit' '6f -"eirsfibt,1 - Wary Seth said : (C*_^s^l_Ao*^W'_3i! bnfj'l'prefe^'-the encyclopredia in book form. You can shut that up, you know."