RANDOM SHOTS.

Auckland Star, Volume XVII, Issue 202, 28 August 1886, Page 4

RANDOM SHOTS.

[BY ZAMIEL.]

Some write, a neighbour's namo to lash. Some write—vain thought— for needful cash. Some write to pleaso tho country clash. And raise a din. For me an aim I never fash— I writo for fun.

That scene in the old Theatre Koyal last Saturday evening was so dramatic that one's mind naturally casts the thing in the form of a play, say, " The Dargavillain Unmasked," in which, with all the theatrical accompaniments, political duplicity is exposed and injured Virtue triumphs over her enemies. In another aspect the meeting was an excellent example of tho engineer "jhoist with his own petard." Tho member for City West was so confident of his ability to explain his action, or inaction, svith reference to the unemployed question, jthat he declined the invitation to meet ihe aggrieved ones alone, but called together the general public to witness his triumphant exculpation. All was going swimmingly, and the unemployed, though not quite convinced of the bona fides of the speaker, confined their criticism to a

running commentary of wild " chaff." But ('quos Dens vult perdere," &c. Carried flway by the enthusiasm of the moment, Mr Dargavillo so far forgot himself as to attack tho Press. Th 6 charge of conspiracy to misrepresent him was evidently his trump card, and he played it with all tbe reckless gusto of the gambler confident of winning the " trick." But he had reckoned without his host {the reader will oxcuse my muddled metaphors), and immediately thero was "the (printer's) d 1 to poy." Tho refutation of his wonderful fairy tale como with crushing effect. A moro complete bouleversement, I make bold to say, was never witnossed on the Theatre Royal stage, aud the endorsation of the vote of censure from that moment was assured. It Is, indeed, a very rare occurrence for n newspaper man to quit tho desk for the platform; but the large meeting seemed t. enjoy tho innovation)

" Offertories Misused 1" Such was the title of a sermon announced for last Sunday evening, and of course my curiosity was fairly aroused. What could it mean ? I felt surprised at the freedom of the lay preacher, although he belongs to a Froo Church. I thought of the pennies the boys had saved by their missionary habits, and of the recipient in hia broad cloth and white tie, faring sumptuously every day ; of the poor old soul working hard for hor daily ornst, freely giving her mite, which offering is frequently misused. I thought of the poor toiling bush missionary, hard worked and poorly paid, and of his city brother with his £1450 per year, and in various ways conjured up material for a slashing discourse. Alas for my conjectures 1 Offertories was Knott tho subject discoursed upon, but " Opportunities Misspent," which evidently somo " typo " or *' taipo " bad mangled, to my discomfiture.

Now that " the last of tho Mohicans" has taken hi- departure, I may venture upon giving vent to tbe general impression which Auckland has received of the United States navy. (While they were here, it might have been ratter risky to arouse the Ire of the champion boxer who formed one of the crew, but. new I nan apeak without fear of personal violence.) Well, the opinion I have heard freely expressed is that the Mohican's crew were "a mixed lot," and unfavourable comparisons have been irietituted between them and tbe crews of other foreign war-ships that have visited our harbour. Brother Jonathan ia a Democrat and does not believe in standing armies and navies, and that, I suppose, is the reeg.n why so few native Americans were found in the Mohican. There were Englieh, German, Dutch, French, Noree, Japanese, Chinese and negroes in profusion, and even they behaved as though they were monarcha of all they survejed, and did not show that thorough subjection to discipline that is characteristic of most blue-jackets. But withal I have a friendly feeling towardsthe Mohican, because of the part she playedi. frustrating German assumptions at Samoa, and that feeling is shared, I think, by most people here, who are sorry that they were denied tho opportunity of closer and longer acquaintance with her crew. May they soon return from Samoa, after doing further good services there for the peaceiul settlement of the unhappy disputes that havo so long prevailed.

Since the death of the lamented lawyer Mr E. K. Tyler, our local law courts have been but rarely illuminated by brilliant coruscations of wit; but of late_ a gentleman has appeared in our midst whose eallies of humour relieve the dull tedium of criminal inveat'gation. In opening an assault case at the Police Court the other morning, Mr O'Meagher.by mistake, stated that tho defendant ,ras a married man. Mr Napier, who appeared for the defendant, objected to this statement. Mr o'Meagher,havingdiECOveredthat hehad been mistaken, Baid that his learned friend was very smart in small matters. MrNapier replied, " Oh, no ! only I don't want my client accused of being a married man." This caused a smile, which culminated in a laugh, when Mr O'Meagher clinched it with the remark, " Woll, perhaps it %vould be better for both you and your client if you were married."

This retort recalls the rather curious prescription which a reverend father of the Auckland Presbytery gave a few weoks Bgo for the restoration to health of an ailing brother. "He only wants a wife to take caro of him," quoth this good physician, "and ho would be all right!" Now, I havo frequently heard of wild young men, who have ruined their constitutions by dissipation, late hours, &c, being advised to get married as tbo cure for their troubles ; but surely a parsonic bachelor does not indulge in any of these " frivolities !" HowBoe'er theso things may be, the clergyman whose health was so feelingly discussed was not to be tempted into forsaking hia Btate of single blessedness, and rather than marry a wifo he resigned his charge, nnd gave himself up unreservedly to the world. By a funny coincidence, this gentleman was located not far from tbat northern settlement the pastor of which has gone over to the devil'a own. A good subject for a Prosbyterial Conference would be~"The Effects of the Climate of North Nev Z.aland on Clergymen I"

No subject i 3 of greater importance jußt now than the cause and euro of the worldwide depression of trade and industry. Thero aro those who firmly beliovo that free trade doctrines are to bUmo for it; others place the responsibility on the "appreciation of gold ;" others again'on the sun spots ; and if I remember arieht, our Colonial Treasurer's theory is a judicious mingling of all three. Thoso who condemn free trade forget that tho United States, protected te the teeth, has felt the depresi'on more acutely than any other country, and that in paternally protected Victoria the "unemployed"are raising their dismal howl, and trade disputes are more rife than in any other colony. There ia also the religious view of the question, which is that " the depression is the result of national sins," and th»t the cure for it is to have a day of humilation and prayer. This was the view recently enunciated by a Woeloyan clergyman in Auckland, who condemned commercial immorality in good sot terms, and denounced the immoral habit of buying in the cheapest market. A firm of cheap

grocers took this fca a personal reflection, because thoy aid not drop sufficiently large offerings at tho entrance 'to tho sanctuary, j and thiß ungenerous suspicion rathor detracted from tho roverend gentleman's arguments. Still, who shall say t?iat the churches, and oven the strict Wesloyans, do not require to bo called to a higher Btandardofcommerclalmoralitj? Then thero is the teetotal view of tho matter, viz., that the depression is tho direct result of drinking habits, ond that nothing but a " bit o' bluo " on our coata will restore a bit of blue in the financial sky ! Tho bold reply of the publican party to this is that British progress and greatness are dtto to tho national appetite for strong drink, The truth probably lies between tho two extremes, and ov.r drinking habits havo nothing whatever to do w'th either our j prosperity or depression.

The "appreciation of gold," as I havo formerly remarked, is the most attractive theory of the doprossion ; it is that which our Coneervntivo Treasurer most aftectn ; and, strangely onough, it is that which is adopted by tho Radical author of an able pamphlet recently publiahed in Auckland I do not intend to follow all the arguments about tho scarcity of cold and tho necessity for " bimetallism," but the fact of tho same thoory being favoured by people at opposite political poles is almost presumption of its truth. Supposing this, then, to be tbo true explanation of tho doprossion, what is the cure ? Why, wo must "dopreciato" gold by increasing its output, and in encouraging miu_g wo shall also give immediate roliof to tho unemployed. The sendini. of our surplus population to Kimberley ie about the worst use wo could make of them, for to all appearance tboy send lis no return, but are simply absorbed (in a vory material way) in the ranks (or stomachs) of the aborigines. It would bo sounder ceonony to "can " tho unemployed and bartor them tothoblackfellows for nuggets ! But, as I havo said, thoro its no noed whatever for sonding any ono to Kimberloy, whilo thore aro so many undevslopod goldfields at our own doora. If tho Colonial Treasurer really believes that a better supply of gold would re store commercial and industrial activity to tho world at large, it is his cloar duty to start tho unemployed at prospecting for new, and working existing goldfiolds. Such a policy of depreciation would meet with the heartiest appreciation at tho present timo, and it would havo tho best, results to New Zealand, whatovor its general effects might be.

But the Legislature, in its collectivo wisdom, thought otherwise, and rej.ctod the measure for redaction or abolition of gold duty. The Hon. Dr. Pollen, for his anti-mining speech, drew down on hia head the wrath of tho Thamea miners in such volume that they actually proposed to change the name of Pollen atroot. Tho hon. eentloman'a chief offence lay in hia assertion that gold-mining was most unprofitable, as tho cost of getting tho gold always exceeded its value ; but this is tho view of many intelligent peopio bosides, and is in fact a atatument capable of the clearest proof Evon Dr. Kiltfour, in his address at tho opening of tho Thames School of Mines, spoko as follows .—" It is said, and probably with truth, that two pounds sterling is usually expended in order to obtain tneuty shillings worth of gold, a statement which carries in it a stinging condemnation of our present methods and appliances, and which, if strictly true, must bo regarded aa tho knell of gold-digging at no distant dato, unless in the moantimo new systems of obtaining and of treating golden ores shall bo discovered."

That is "depreciation of gold " with a vengeanco, though not just the kind that is wanted to cure the depression. The Thames doctor's argument is based upon the assumption that men will not always bo such fools aa 'o pay £2 for £1 worth of gold ; but that ia just the weak point in his argument. That's the very sort of fools that men will bo for many generations to come, and nothing but extreme optimists have such faith in human nature as to believe that men will in our time, or that of our children's children, be so wise as to eschew gold-mining or any other attractive form of gambling. And supposing the majority of New Zealanders to have reached that pinnacle of intelligence now occupied by the two learned doctors referred to, there isall tho greater reason for tho Government giving gold-mining a shove forward In tho interests of the community. Dr Kilgour, in a letter to tho Thames paper, says that what is required for tho gold mining induatry ia a devoted ba_d of I .abodies ready to sink their fortunes in that industry " for the good of the country at large." Until the hopos of improved means of extracting the gold from refractory ores are realised, will not the Government of New Zealand act the part of Peabody ?

During Mr Peacock's address to tho unemployed on Tuesday morning, one of the latter exclaimed—"Ay, he can talk dow;n here, but ho couldn't open his mouth at Wellington for the working man !If wo were at Dunedin or Christchurch wo would get justice ; ay, moro than justice, or wo would pull the banks down." Now, tho nose of that speaker gave indications of closer acquaintance with beer ond whisky than his hands did with work. It is euch men and such ruffianly views that brinp tho unemployed in bad odour, and cause most unjnst reflections to be cast upon the really deserving cases. The outcome of the Chicago riots should teach working men here that a democratic community is swift and ssvere in its action for the repression of lawlessness, and the leaders of the unemployed agitation here should, in the interest of all concerned, sternly reprobate such sentiments as I have quoted above, whenever and wherever uttered.

A Napier paper of recent date gives particulars of a curious marriage complication that has arisen there. A youth of nineteen was courting a protty girl, when his graceless father, who was a widower, cut in, and carried off the bride from under tho young fellow's nose. Tho marriage of May and December was duly consummated, and all went well until business called the aged bridegroom from home. Dur ing his absence the young couple folt the old love reawaken, and speedily resolved toelope. The young man and hia step mothor are now enjoying themselves down South, while tbe doubly bereaved father and husband is at Napier pondering whether it would be a good business advertisement to appear as petitioner in a divorco suit with his own son as corespondent. Leaving him to his cogitations, I would remark that theeloping pair have shown more wisdom than did a young man and his step-mother at Ipswich, England. The circumstances of the case are vory similar to the Napier ono, only at Ipswich the old man gracefully died, and his son thereupon married the widow. Both parties to this queer union have been committed for trial for m.rrying within the prohibited " degrees," though it. must be apparent that there i? no blood relationship between a man and his step-mother. Still,the couple woro very foolish. Thoy should have eloped, against which thore is no law.

I am reminded, while on this topic, of a cruel matrimooial swindle, of which an old colonist is the victim, the circumatances of which have come under my notice. Having amassed a handsome competency, the colonist to whom 1 refer paid a visit to the land of his birth. Being a widower, and his worldly position boing well recognised, an intriguing mamma very quickly_ found means of marrying her daughter to him, and for a timo all went merry as a marriage bell. But people who havo lived in North New Zaaland cannot long stay away from its lovely scenery and enchanting climate, and our colcnist, after tbe lapse of several years, proposed a return to his. Auckland home. His wife's friends, for somo reason understood by tiemselves, objected, raised all kinds of obstacles, and pushed the contention to an open quarrel. The colonist parted from hia wife and returned to beloved Zealandia, sending regular remittances for tho support of his wife and child, and repeatedly urging them to join him here. His solicitations were unheeded, and at last he intimated that unless tho child was banded over to him he would coaso his remittances. He waa dared to do so ;he did it; and now bis wife ia asking the Court to grant her judicial separation, and tho custody of the child, on the ground of her husband's desertion 1 So far as I can see, the desertion is all on the other side ; but as it stands the case almost proves the truth of St. Paul's dictum -" He that marrieth doeth well; but he that marrieth not doeth bettor." Mr O'Meagher and the members of Auckland Presbytery, pleaso note.

especially aa at ono timo I, contemplated the deed, but ofter consideration arrived at tho conclusion thaUf It wis cruel to murder it was unmanly and cowardly to Buieido, especially If yott have a wifo or family to leavo behind. During our peregrinations in thiß world many of ub havo to pass through great trials and troubles. Sometimes we ourselves aro to bhiino for them, at othor times they ariao from circumatoncoe over which wo havo littlo or nn control. If suicide ran be justittablo to any at all. it would ba to ihoai who aro tortured with a holplosa cancer or other disease beyond cure. Evon then it is hotter for such to aav. like tho »on of Old Lot mo dlo the death of tho righteous, and lot my last end be liko his " Many poiVilo Suitor from adverse worldly circumstances, and have to bo obligod to frionda, but how often do wo aco that whon such lamo dogs aro helped ovor a stilo there is a total want of gratitude.aud instead, a feeling of envylsentertsined towards their morn fortunate fellowboings.whilotheilrustthingthatany manor woman can do for a klndnoßH ia to bo thankful for it. and not envious of their bonofactors, Othera have to battle with sickness and diseose all life long; otheis. ag.iin. havo to sufl* r pecuniarily. mentiilly and bodily, for the faults, follies and vices of thoso who aro or wero near and dear to them. Thero is a skeleton ino-ery house. If wo have not o;\e trouble we have onothor, although somo co'plo would appear to got moro than the lion's fharothereof But 'Zamiel." my son, to such I would my, do not despair. Do not think of suiciding; tho thought Ib dangeroua bii_ tho action cowardly. Hatter think with the poet: —

" Hitlle proudly with misfcrtuno, Nor heed how 1 ng the fight. Assistance when least looked for

Oft comes to aid top right. Hope on. hopo on, though Bpirit crushed Ne'er yield yo to despair, Through blackest clouds tho sunshlno bur_U, Kind hearts are ovcry whoro."

A Freothinkor, though occupying a vory different standpoint from ono who wro'to last week, nlso addresses me on tho samo topic as follows :—

Dkah " Zamiel."—While agreeing with ninny nr_un_ontß brought forward by you in your remarks on tho Into suicide of a hiihly-respnoted citizen ot thia town, I must however, take ex cepsioato enepoint. Vouask lnoneof yourarticlesoflast Saturdaj'sissuo: "And is not eternal progression a bettor 'hope for tho dead ' than everlrißtinx nothingness?' Yourreadcra would infer from thie so:itonce, taken with thrso prr-c-di-g ii, th.it to ('hri.-tlanity exclusively belonged tho th. ry if "eternal progression." while Freethinkers, as a bnay f hcliovr d only in "everlasting uothingnrss." You surely must have forgouon or ovorlooked Ihe fact that iho majority of the great advocates o£ Freethought hive toiairiouely held tho doctrino of immortality, ai, forinßtanoe, Voltaire and Thomas Paine. There is also a school of our thinkors who bellevo that there ia moro or leas foundation for tho hops of "life beyond the grave," and who do not dishonestly pretend I "i know or affirm moro than thslr reason »ill abow. It ia true, however, that there ia jot another school ot thinkers to whom your remarks would ju9tlyapuly.ondwhomay. porhaps. bonioataetly described ub Ultra-Materialists or Notohlsts. Your remarks on thootliica of suicide recall to mind how opinions on this subject In tho ol I Roman timea diUbrcd from tho_ held at tho presoatday. Tnoro novor livod a nioro illustrious Roman than Cato, hut hi* taking away his own life is one of tho most familljr Incidents ia aucieat hi-tory. and has beon immortalteod in dramaticlvereo by that threat ohampion ot revealed religion, Josoph Addlaou.—l am, &c. J. G. Cox.

I would only remark that what I said last week was intonded solely to meet tho arguments adduced by " A Freethinker," which woro of the materialistic or atheistic typo. I am woll aware that thoro are many rational Freethinkers liko Mr t'ox, many spirituliatic philosophic, nnd ovon Christian Freethinkers, and that in each of theso classes thero aro many tubdivisona. With no species of Froothought h_vo I ever quarrolled suvo with tho atheistic, which is irrational, unphilosophic, anti-Christian, and dograding, and too frequently ia also blatant, ignorant, bruial, unfooling, and generally objectionable The cause of Freothought sudors immensely by tho inclusion of such individuala, who aro not worthy of boing classified aa _oo thinkers, since they dogmatise as firmly and nnathomatise as freely as tho most earnest devoteo of Mother Church ovor did. In theabsonco of proof, negation is as irrational aa assertion—a conclusion which I think Mr Cox and all my readers will admit to bo porfoctly sound.