TABLE TALK.

Auckland Star, Volume XXVI, Issue 77, 9 April 1885, Page 2

TABLE TALK.

Cuoiul Society's concert tonight. The Premier is in the North. Hon. Mr Ballance arrives at Christchurch to day. Sound investment—A telephone. i Sir Julius Vogol returns to Wellington to-morrow. A bad jury in a lawsuit—Perjury. Ship Onmaru took 11,000 carcases of mutton from Wellington yesterday. Mr Larnach, after visiting Canterbury, will come to the Thames. Dunedin City Council has an overdraft of £12,700. After a visit to America, Hanlan will probably settle in Australia. Hon, Colonel Reader is presently in Christchurch, on dofonce business. Tho number of men employed on tho Panama Canal works is 19,000. The wages of British iron-workers were reduced 30 por cent, in 1884. The Rimutaki, from Lyttelton, has reached Rio do Janeiro, with hor frozen meat in good condition. Sharp and Co. _ timber yards at Melbourne, recently destroyed by fire, woro insured in eighteen different ollicos. A polo match between Christchurch anil Otago Clubs, played at Christchurch, resulted in a win for tho first-named by six goals to ono. Tho gasman does not write pootry bocauso ho has no idoa of correct motor. An Otago excursion train, with 1,000 porsons on board, ran off tho lino yesterday, but no ono was injured. Yostorday tho cricket match atGisborno, botwoon the Gordon (Auckland) Club and a Poverty Bay combinod team, resulted in a win for Gordon by seven wickets. At Dunodin Supreme Court yostorday a prisoner was doscribod cs "nn honost man when sober, but would steal with a policeman within twenty yards of him to get drink." A Russian proverb aver,, thai " It never goes well when tho hen crows," and another thought is pertinently expressed in tho proverb, "Tho wifodoes not beat the husband, but her temper rules him." That intelligent compositor in tho " Heral 1" otlico has been at it again. This morning ho makes Miss Arnold illustrate Hindoo worship " by menus of charts and pictures of tho goods unshipped.'' For tho words in italics read "gods worshipped." An optimistic husband thus indulges in a droam of bliss :— Thero Is a Paradise that lacks No joy of which wo wots Whore wives grow ooalskin on their backsWhy not I In the opening of tho criminal sessions at Christchurch yesterday, Judge Johnstone referred to tho sorious nature of the cases in tho calendar, thore beißg 23 persons charged in 18 casos. At a college examination, a professor asked, " Does my question omburrass you ?" " Not at all, sir," rcpliod the student, " not at all. It is quite clear. It is the iinswor that bothers mo." At tho criminal sessions at Dunedin, Josoph Albert Groon, for embezzling .£SOO from his employers, was sentenced to threo years' imprisonment, whilo H. D. Wilcox, postmaster, Aloxandra South, for embezzling £150, got two yoars. Hanlan, in the course of a speech after his late defeat, said he would not wish for a hotter field or for fairer play than ho had received on the Pnrramatta River on Saturday, and he acknowledged that tho best man had won tho race. Only in Freothinking Dunedin, surely, could such things as those happon. Robert Nash, a book-binder, stolo a Douay Bible and pawned it to buy drink, and whon found guilty at the Supremo Court of the offence ho got off with a jnonth's imprisonment.

Hero is a specimen of bucolic poetry, boing part of an effusion read by Governor Robinson at an agricultural fair in Massachusetts : —

Eg«. , butter, sausage, pork and beans, Sheep, oxon, horses, bulls and cows, Calves, mules and asßoo, pigs and bows, Cabbage, potatoes, turnips, greens. A little of that goes a long way ; tho poet had bettor stick to pork and beans.