An Intricate Elopement.

Auckland Star, Volume XXVI, Issue 4466, 6 September 1884, Page 5

An Intricate Elopement.

A vert painful and intricate afl'air has, says the "New York Times," occurred near Wheeling, West Va. One of tho features of the affair was an elopement, and three men, a widow, a girl, and somo families and other parties were mixed up in it in a way that is simply maddening to the reader of the report sent out by a Wheeling collector of news. The report begins with the apparently inoffensive assertion that "the families of William Cook and Mrs Jane McCormick, a widow, aro residents on adjoining farms." This is clear, and as a contribution to the history of Monnngahola County is donbtloss valuable. Its connection with tlio rest of the story is, however, by no means clear, for wo hear no nioro of Mr William Cook, and aro left to imagino his character, condition, and fate. Wo aro next informed that " Jones is wealthy and Mrs McCormick is poor." This, too, is an interesting fact, though tho sudden introduction of Jones is startling, and to some extent unjustifiable, in view of the reporter's avowed purpose to givo an account of an elopement with which Jones apparently iiad no more to do than William Cook, or any other innocent poison, Next we are introduced to " Young Jones," who, wc are told, "conceived a violent passion for Miss McCormick. " There is good reason to believe Young Jones was a species of Jones entirely distinct from the Jones of uncertain ao-e.-butof undoubted wealth. So far the reader is in doubt as to whether William Cook, the wealthy Jones, or Young Jones is the person who eloped, and although tho fact that Young Jones conceived a violent passion renders it possible that he was tho leading man in the elopement, thero is no positive evidence in support of this theory. While the reader is trying to keep his attention fixed on William Cook, Mrs McCormick, Jones the wealthy, and Young Jones, his breath is fairly taken away by tho suddenness of tho announcement that " the girl first disappeared," and " tho boy secured a horse from his father, and also disappeared." Who was tho girl ? Was sho tho Widow McCormick, or, a3 is more probable, Miss McCormick ? And who was the boy? Could thjs boy have been William Cook? And if so, lias William Cook a father, or wa3 Young Jones the b.oy ? What with the necessity of finding some answer to these questions, and of also retaining a mental grasp upon William Cook, Jones ike wealthy, tho Widow McCormick, Misa McCormick, the boy, tlie boy's father, the horse, and tho girl, the reader will find the story a terrible strain upon tho intellect in the present hot weather. The story goes on to say that when " they came home "-meaning, perhaps, all the Joneses, McCormicks, Cooks, girls, boys, and horses—"the father "—though we aro not told what father—cut a switch, and gave him—say William Cock, young Jones, or, perhaps, the horse^-a thrashing. The same Father that sent " him " to a military school —which looks as it the culprit was not the horse after all, but was, perhaps, "the boy" who secured a parental horse. Not to be outdone in enterprise, tho " mother " and whether she was William Cook's mother, or young Jones's mother, or merely a general local mother, the reader Js left to decide—" instituted a suit against Jones " —who was probably the wealthy Jones—in behalf of her daughter for damages, laying the sum at 5,000 dols., and alleging tho alienating of her husband's affections. This "mother" could not have been the Widow McCormick, for that lady's husband was permanently dead, and his affections could not be alienated by any variety of Jones, As to the concluding assertion that " Jones claims that it is a scheme to mulct him," there can be little doubt that is true. That a male Jones should alienate the affections of any mother's husband is grossly improbable, even if Jones is wealthy. Moreover, a vague " mcither " who cannot be identified unloss we' regard her as the mother of the greater part of the population of Monogahela County, does not command public respect as a woman of high character and genuine refinement, and fa would be quite capable of conceiving .1 scheme to _mht the wealthy Jones, and perhaps of following it up by mulcting William Cook and the energetic but unidentified father, Of one thing only we #iay feel tolerably sure and that is that somebody in Mononcahe'la County has eloped with somebody else. Perhaps if nn intelligent reporter : were to tell the story in a clear, straightforward way we should find that Mrs McCormick, whose family is p. widow and resides on adjoining farms, eloped with » wealthy horse belonging to William Cook, „,' i having given the girl a thrashing, V hh" to a military school, and then, se. , „„,'*c by his wrongs, tried to mulct I™'?,! f an X "'hen the boy interfered J°A MIT„ after all *M" * not muoh clearer *? 4iMrinol stoi'V, A"d °n the wholebetter be postponed until cooler Wither.