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Auckland Star, Volume VI, Issue 1625, 1 May 1875, Page 6 (Supplement)

' John Henry, didn't I tell you to hurry back with that paregoric ? You've been gone half an hour !' ' Well, I couldn't help it.' replied the boy. ' There was a chap down there who was going to lick Billy Smith, and they swore, and dared each other, and spit on their hands, and I knew that dad would want to hear how it came out.'

How to prevent the hair from becoming gray. —Cut it off, do it up neatly in tissue paper, and pnt it away in a drawer. It will not become gray as long as you live.

I There is a lawyer so excessively honest ■ that he puts all his flower-pots out over f night, so determined is he that everything } shall have its dew.

' Has that gal got fits ?' asked an old farmer, who had paused to spe a young lady go through with her calisthenic exercises in the gardens. ' No,' replied the servant girl. * that's jimmynastics.' ' So,' says the farmer, in pitying tone, ' poor thing, how long's she had 'em P'

A Wisconsin editor's reason for preferring Mat Carpenter to all other men: * We like the way Carpenter has of wearing his hair, and of letting his shirt boil out between his vest and his pantaloons, a feat not easily accomplished.