Untitled

Auckland Star, Volume V, Issue 1498, 28 November 1874, Page 6 (Supplement)

" B .v," said a tr.ivelh-r to a diso cdiciit youth whom he enconntered, (; don't you hear your father spe.iking to you T "Oh y-a-n-s." replied the youth, " but I don't mind what ho says. Mother don't, neither; and 'twixt she and I we've about got the dog so lie don't." A little Bridgeport shaver who wanted to lie :i good hoy, was told by his mother to pwy. Hu said he had prayed, but he didn't got good. He was told to keep on praying. "But," siiid he. " I don't want to be toazing Him all tho time." Turn for a moment from the Beeeher scand.il. and ponder over the fact that the footprints of a Chicago lady on tho prairie, near Michigan City, got a crowd of men out to hunt for a stray- elephant-. When a Portland woman chases hor boy with a broom, ho runs down on a wharf and j urn [is into the water. When he comes out his face is washed, his mother docs not know him, and he is safe. Sea side Etiquo'te for Ladies. — Always carry a volume of poetry when walking on tho beach, and look as sentimental as possible when a " nice young man " is approaching. If the back hair is let down, the effect is more striking. Tennyson's or Browning's poems are to be preferred, as most people know as little of them as you do. —" Hornet."

Self-Protection. —A story from Portland, Maine, seems to show that a young woman of personal attractions "may not be altogether without protection even when taking a long walk in a lonely part of the country late in the evening. A young woman, carrying a large bundle, lately missed the last ferry boat, and determined, nothing daunted, to walk round by Portland-bridge. Of course, she met the inevitable young man, and, of course, he saluted her, and asked permission to escort her home. Her reply may be commended to all young women in similar circumstances. " Sir," said she, " I would not advise you to come near me unless you have had the small-pox. lam allowed out only in the evening, and am carrying a bundle of linen from 'a patient." The young man had not time to be polite. According to the local newspaper, nothing more was seen of him save and except his coat tails rapidly vanishing from sight in the gloom of the evening, and apparently moving in the direction of Portland-bridge.

" Is there any person you would wish me to marry V said a wife to a dying spouse, who had been somewhat of a tyrant in his day. " Marry the devil, if, you like-)," was the gruff reply. "jNo, I thank you, my dear, one husband from the same family is enough for me."

A strong-minded woman in Detroit made the following gentle reply to a politician who had called at her houseto get her husband to go to the poll and vote : " No, sir ;he can't go. He's washing now, and he's going to iron tomorrow ; and if he wasn't doing anything he couldn't go. I run this 'ere house, I do ; and if any one votes, it'll be this same woman."

We haven't heretofore had much faith in the stories about Anna Dickinson's engagement, but when a woman gets so that she won't eat onions, and and is particular about having holes in her stockings,; something's up, siire's shooting.