MR. O'HOOLAHAN'S MISTAKE.

Auckland Star, Volume V, Issue 1492, 21 November 1874, Page 5 (Supplement)

MR. O'HOOLAHAN'S MISTAKE.

A VIRGINIA CITY HO3IANCE,

An amusing scene occurred in Justice Young's Court-room, Virginia, an evening or two since. Two sons of the "ould sod," full of ''chain lightning" and law, rushed in, and advancing to the Justice's little law pulpit at the rear of the Court-room, both began talking at once.

"One at a time, if you please," said the Judge. "Jedge —yer Honor —will I shpake, thin 1 said one of the men.

"Silence !" roared his companion. "I am hove ! Let me talk. Phwat do you know about law ?"

"Keep still yourself, sir," said the Judo-e. "Let him say what he wants." "Well, I want me naime of the paiper. That's phwat I want," said the man.

" Off what paper," said the Judge. " Well, atf the paiper ; ye ought_to know what paiper. Shure, ye married me, they say." " To whom?" asked the Judge.

" Some famale, sir, and I don't want her, sir. It don't go ! and I want me naime aff tlie paiper." " Silence !" roared fclie friend, bringing his huge fist down upon the little law pulpit, just under the Judge's nose, with a tremendous thwack. " Silence ! lam here. Phwat do you know about law ? Shure, yer Honor; it was Tim McCloskey's wife that he married—his widdy I main. You married thim, yer Honor."

" And I was dhrunk at the time, sir. Vis, sir, an' I was not a free aigent, an' I don't know a tliingabout it, Sir divil roawst me! I want me name aff the paiper—l repudiate, sir." " Silence ! I am here to shpake ! It does not depind on that at all. It depinds—and there is the whole pint, both in law and equity—it depinds whether was the woman a sole thrader or not at the time this marriage was solemnated. That is the pint, both in law and equity !" " But I was dhrunk at the time, Devil roawst me if I knowed I was gittin married. I was not a free aigent. I want the Jedge to taik me naime off the paipei*. It don't go." The Judge tried to explain to the man that, drunk or sober, he was married to the woman fast enough, and if he wanted a divorce he must go to another Court. " Devil burn me 1" cried the man, " if Tgo to another Coort. Ye married me, and ye can unmarry me. Tak me naime aff the paiper 1" " Silence!" cried the friend, bringing his fist down in close proximity to the Judge's nose. " Phwat do you know about law? I admit, Jedge, that he must go to a higher Coort; that is (down comes the fist), if the woman can prove (whack) that she was at the time the marriage was solemnated (whack) a regularly ordained sole thrader (whack) On this" pint it depinds, both in law and equity." " I have had enough of this ! cried the Judge; " I cannot divorce you. You are married, and married you must remain, for all I can do !" "Ye wont taik me naime aff the paiper thin T " It would not mend the matter," said the Judge. « Ye won't taik it aff V

" No; I won't!" fairly yelledthe Judge. " Silence!" cried the partner, bringing down his fist and raising a cloud of dust under the Judge's nose. "It depinds whether, at the time, the woman was a rigular sole—" " Get out of here", cried the Judge, I've had about enough of this !" at the same time rising. "Ye wont taik it aff ] Very well, thin, I'll go hoam and devorce meself. Devil roawst me, I'll fire the hatch ; I will—"

Here he glanced towards the front door; his under jaw dropped, he ceased speaking, and in a half-stooping posture he went out of the back door of the office like a shot.

The valiant friend and legal adviser also glared toward the door, vrhen he, too, doubled up and scooted in the foots teps of his illustrious principal.

A look at the door shewed it darkened by a woman about six feet high, and so broad as to fill it almost from side to side.

The Judge took a look at this mountain of flesh, doubled up, and was about to take the back track, but thought better of it and took refuge behind his little law pulpit. The mountain advanced, gave utterance to a sort of internal rumble, and thoD, amid fire, smoke and burning lava, belched out : " Did I or did X not see Michael O'Hoolahan sneak out of your back dure f " I believe O'Hoolahan is the name of one of the gentlemen who just went out," said the Judge. Advancing upon the pulpit —behind which the Judge settled lower and lower —the mountain belched : " You be-e lave! You know it was Michael O'Hoola . han 1 Now, what is all this connivin' in ! here about ? Am I widely again 1 Did ye taik his name affthe paiper ? Did ye taik it afff " N-no," said the Judge. "Ye didn't ? Dont you decave me 1" " No ; I give you my word and honor I didn't. I couldn't—l had no right to."

" it's well for ye ye did'nt, T'll tache him to be runnin' about connivin' to lave me a lone widely agin/ whin I'm makin' a jintleman of him !" With this she sailed back to the door where she turned and shaking her fist, thus addressed the tip of the Judge's nose, which alone way visible above the little pulpit: Now. do you mind that you lave his name on the paper ! I want no meddlin' wid a nutn wanst I git him. No more connivin'!"