Descriptive.

Alexandra Herald and Central Otago Gazette, Issue 374, 9 July 1903, Page 7

Descriptive.

WEDDING PRESENTS. ■HERE are very few of the many ' presents pubwbicnffail io provide a tittle diversion to those who care to read between the lines. It is 4 4*> fa|li luied articles, ";inpny of which are ■ nat^t,^oa * e d * n these lists. |ohe can often find, for* instance, a great many more/Jjiscult ibarrels and jam spoonn looming largely in the list than are ever likely to be required the Hlftttafc oiXthe bride or bridegroom. An example of the total lack of tact andrdisciinjination s h o wn in ..these matters |w|s seen.^c l e^|^ j9 |n the case of'-.a vegetarian, who married a lady of ( equally rigid -dietetic principles. - They received hoi fewer than five sets of carvers from the same number of friends, four, of whom were perfectly aware that.both bride and bridegroom religiously avoided meat in any form; ■ A wedding present is usually supposed to serve as a token of love or friendship; it may be a helpful addition to the stock of household* or personal - by a young couple commencing houeekeeping; it should at least be a tangible sign of approval 'at the approaching nuptiakj and a pledge of future interest and undiminished regard. - m|Btiiivl been|co%pl|tely |lacki|g irj|th|youlig lad|r being djisth<| manage offan old sweetheart to a widow of rather ample proportions, as well as ample means, anonymously sent the corpulent bride a handsome pair of corsets, beautifully finished, but of the sylph-like circumference of nineteen .ihehejß.r ,-j •-, *»|»|' -Q "We old riot, as a rule, look for sarcasm in bridal offerings, but the amount of satire contained in these |giftj|j is. fhorfc gaL fastsn|sju§i| §sfb4ri it>|s! ftiba r l c §(s"i |nis|d| J|f |j | |J II I jy§ %£ It sometimes happens, of course, that the irony which is conveyed in wa¥ f i*!?qui|B inaocenfriarid unintentional. The donor may, perhaps, be insufficiently intimate with the tastes-pr habitsot the objects of his generosity to be able to hit upon the right article, or the one,which a%cep%oife~. element ofslucߣ usually plays an important part in these matters, and a%ood deal- inust always' be left to chance. A. well-known temperance advocate #as[ r£censlyj the butt of ; a Jionsider- ' able" amount of good-natured fun on the occasion of his marriage. In addition to several punch bowls of various designs from different friends, he received a handsome, silver-mounted travelling flask, filled with fine old Scotch whisky, and a lease' of crustedi iporfc. |- The- teetotal Benedict being of a,.very hospitable ia&d broad-minded : jfe 'hbpeoV that the """gifts in question (which were sent "quite independently, and ; hot as the result,6f a preconceived" plan or joke) will not

„, x » rT -•-.,. r T ; .,:A;,.lesi" pleassnl. wais that of a lady who not only deprived a rival of her. sweetheart's affection/ but, in addition, supplied the faithless swain with the necessary funds ??Jth ,which [to Tsettlei the%breadh 5 6f promise action brought on behalf of thex>jilted r. damieli ; The wealthy bride*: ■.■■ mho was '"■■■ unfortunately afflicted with an incipient moustache,' received on her weddings morn a complet£is:having loiitfit/) As the bridegroom wore a beard and hadj in fact, never shaved in/his ;4he giftcould be capable of'no other interpretation, than the. one intended a caustic comment on the bride's hirsute adornment. * wv to show-that human passion finds strange outlets,

and tn^ev^^b^ £ fiymenejil >j||e far Insecure from xidylal^anaießentment. In. eases where;'real animosity is shown the senders, of insulting . prersents: are, asa rule, clever enough to cover ....their tracks and so jdefy ;6letection. Where* however, discovery has rewarded investigation, it has generally been found that the culprits were soured and disappointed rivals, frequently of the feminine 863. sQne off WeoraMn'lhil respect %a 6' practised on a Welsh curate a year or two ago. This gentleman had, during his ministry, made many friends in the parish, but also, as it subsequently transpired, at least one enemy. » ? Many,,conj.egtures ; shad;been made as if anyfot his %mmerous feminine admirers would, succeed4n capturing his affections. At length the •momentous, choice: wjks/jmadjj, and as the' wedding day drew near the lists of presents-grewlonger and longer. Amongst a host of welcome gifts' there' 'was a small, sealed box, which aroused no little, curiosity on account of the request which "accompanied" it, in an unknown hand? writirigj'that-it should not be opened until the bridal morn, and by no other than the bridegroom himself. £ The injunction wasjobeyed, to ; , the leller, Jbui, the mortlficatioil of the good man may be but faintly imagined when. = on, opening? the boxhe {4tßCo*&re4,: an, upnto-date nose i machine, *jkth; the printed- directions for use vigorously underlined. The cruel hoax- might have, deemed less poignant, -• perhaps, had not 1 the victim's olfactory organ been of an abnormal size and shape.