SOME "INNOCENTS" AT HOME.

Not so very long ago there might have been seen in nearly every town in Scotland a representative of an unfortunate class of persons who were variously called " fools," or "naturals," or "innocents." Curiously enough most of them belonged to the male sex. Though their faces chiefly spoke of a vacant mind, they were not really demented, but only crazy, half witted, or daft. Being quite incapable cf earning their daily bread by daily labour, they were often employed to do odd jobs, run errands, or carry messages ; and on such missions they could be almost implicitly trusted. In the hope of making a few pence in this way, and partly also with a view to playing on the sympathies of the charitable, they used to loiter near the hotels or about the market-place — a habit that rendered the majority of them incurably la*y.

There was one occasion, however, on which they invariably displayed the utmost activity, for they seldom missed attending a funeral, the solemn ceremonies of which appeared to strike them with a sudden awe. Arrayed in improvised mourning paraphernalia — which, however, was made of paper — the poor idiot headed the mournful procession to the churchyard, not the least impressed among the " followers." Inoffensive, as a rule, they were sometimes malicious and cruel, and liable to outbursts of ungovernable bub short-lived fury. Their countenances generally wore an aspect of peculiar simplicity, but shrewdness and a certain low cunning were not always absent. The Davie Gellatley of " Waverley," drawn with Sir Walter's wonted skill, may be regarded as a fair specimen of these " puir silly bodies."

So far from seeming to be half witted, some of these " fools " were notorious for their ready wit. Take, for example, the following anecdote of daft Will Hamilton, of Ayr. Three young ladies were standing on the banks of a frozen loch, debating whether the*ice was strong enough to bear them, when one" of them, seeing Will close by, suggested that he should be requested to walk on it first, and he was asked accordingly.

"Though I'm daft," replied Will, " I'm no ill bred ; after you, leddies."

This was simply perfect. The sanest person in Christendom couldn't exceed the quasi-politeness of it, while it conveyed a stinging rebuke of an inconsiderate proposal.

The fame of Jamie Fleeman, the Laird of Udny's "fool," extended far beyond the bounds of Aberdeenshire. In fact, judging from the many well-authenticated instances of his powers of repartee, bis place would

Seem to be with the wits of his country rather than with its " fools." One day Fleeman found a horseshoe, and shortly afterwards the Rev. Mr Craigie, of St. Fergus, met him. Holding up the shoe, quoth Jamie : "Minister, can you tell me what this is?"

"That, you fool," replied Mr Craigie — ' that's a horseshoe."

" Eh ! " rejoined Fleeman ; " sic a blessin' as it is to be weel learned 1 I couldna' tell whether it was a horse's shoe or a mare's."

Jamie was as bitter as he was satirical. Nothing could have been better than the way he had of censuring those who made a practice of " p : ulling the long bow." At such times Fleeman sat patiently throughout the marvellous narrative, but it must have been galling to the speaker to be asked at the close of his story, in dry and significant tones, " D'ye ken where leears (liars) gang?" Once this rebuff provoked the retort : " Faith, Jamie, there's nane should ken that better than yoursel', for you dinna aye Stick to the truth." But Jamie had his answer pat. " It will never be asked o' the likes o' me whether I spoke the truth or tauld lees; but when wise folk say things that affront f ules it's just makin' a present o' their wits to Auld Nick." '

However, Jamie occasionally showed to much less advantage. He was once lying by the side of the Ythan, basking in the sun, when heVas accosted from the opposite bank by the Laird of Waterfcon, whom it is but fair to say he cordially detested. The laird •wanted to know where the ford was safest, and Fleeman maliciously directed him to the deepest pool in the river, in crossing which Waterton was nearly drowned. When hereached the other shore he came up, drenched to the skin and almost voiceless with rage, and charged Jamie with a deliberate attempt to drown him.

"Look here, laird," was the unabashed reply, " I've seen the geese and the dyeucks (ducks) crosein' there hunners o' times, and I'm sure your horse has langer legs than the dyeucks or the geese either."

Hogg relates an amusing story showing how daft • Jock Amos parried a question •which he didn't care to answer. Johnnie and a country woman were talking about their ages one day, when the latter inquired: " Hoo auld will ye be 1 " " Ou, I dinna ken," was the reply. "It wad tak a wiser head than mine to tell that."

"It's a -queer thing," responded the woman, " that ye dinna ken hoo auld ye are."

" I ken weel enough hoo auld I am," returned Jock, "but I dinna ken hoo auld I'll be."

Dr Robert Chambers collected a good many interesting facts about daft Rab Hamilton, a '^noted character in Burns' country. He seems to have had a certain sly humour, of which several instances are recorded. For a long time he could not understand the value of silver coin, and refused it in his ignorance. However, he once saw a girl get six pennies for a sixpence, and a new light dawned upon him. Shortly afterwards, in order to test him, a gentleman offered him a sixpence or a penny.

" I'll no be greedy," was Rab's remark, " I'll tak the wee ane."

But the village " fool " will sooner or later become as extinct as the court jester. Public sentiment is more easily moved than was once the case, and humane people could not but be shocked to see these unfortunate creatures wandering about uncared for, and too often the butt of teasing boys and the sport of brutal men. Consequently — though, alasl there are idiots still with vs — asylums and other special institution s now afford them a kindly refuge from the taunts of the thoughtless and the pinch of poverty.

With another story of the redoubtable Fleeman, these illustrations of a decaying race may be brought to a close. One Sunday the congregation in Udny Kirk were very drowsy, and so many of his hearers werenid-nid-nodding that the preacher determined to admonish them. Fleeman, as was his wont, was exceedingly attentive, whether he understood the discourse or not.

His attention, however, pointed the minister's rebuke.

"My brethren, you should take an example from that fool there," and he indicated Fleeman with his finger ; " fool though he be, he keeps awake while you, shame on youi, are Bleeping."

"Ay, minister," Jamie was heard to mumble under his breath, " but if 1 hadna been a fule I wud hae been sleepin' tae."

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