WHAT THE GENERAL'S WIFE THOUGHT OF THE SULTAN'S PRESENT.

The Sultan of Turkey has presented Gnn Lew Wallace, the American Minister witK beautiful Circassian girl. lira. Wallace sitting at the front window oI her Constat? nople house, on the verge of going down tn the bazaar for some embroidered stuffs to home, when a cavalcade drew up before tl door, a huge eunich, arrayed in Sultar! livery, knocked at the door and r,alaamed anH then two eumchs a size smaller brou"M - and deposited on the inside door-mat & a hi" 1 eyed, beautiful Circassian girl, whose lusting orbs and sparkling jewels were but little h scured by the tiliny gauze veilin- tha'" covered her from head to foot. Mrs \y lace stared at the girl in dumb amazement " "What do you want?" she said. ' The girl shook her head. " Mustaby, Mustaby !" cried Mrs Wat'™, sharply ; " what does this mean ?" Mustaby came from the floor below when* he had been polishing some knives witi Bristol brick. He dropped the knife back when he caught sight of the visitor " Ah, ah," he ejaculated, with satisfaction as he saw the imperial image ; " it is a ere' sent. It is a present. It is a magnified present. His Highness has smiled upon mv master, and has sent him his choicest slave ■' "And what is the choicest slave goine to do in this house, I would like to know'-' continued Mrs. Wallace, with a vineearv gleam of sarcasm. "She will bring my master's coffee to him when he awakens iu the morning, and affectionately superintend his moniiu-'j ablutions." '• She will, will she ?" remarked Mrs. Wallace, as she gritted her teeth very hard. "She will att'ectionately superintend his morning ablutions, will she?" and the stealthily lingered a bric-a-brac ciinetar and glared at the offending present. Then she walked straight up to the beauty on the door-mat, pointed her index linger out the front door, and remarked, •' Go 'way The present stared at her stupidly. '• Go 'way, I tell you. You're a shameless hussy to come intruding on a respectable family iu this way." The present did not look as though she had done anythiug particularly infamous, and showed no disposition to move. Mrs. Wallace could contain herself no longer. She flevy at the present, grabbed it by the shoulder, and was bustling it down stairs, when Gen. Wallace came around the corner, rather flushed from rapid walkiu". He took in the situation at a glance. "Oh, Lewis!" cried his wife, with acI cenuated horror, " did you ever hear of such a thing ?" Lewis did not look horrified, though he evidently was. He evidently had heard o! such things, for there was a doubtful look on his face. Finally he said : "I don't think, Maria, that I would put it out into the street. It's not to blame, you know." There was a faint snap in Mrs. Wallace c eyes, hut she nodded and lured him oc further. " You sec it's a present, and you can't give away or throw away a present, you know, if we could send it back, saying that we had no use for it, or that we had one already, ami couldn't he make it something else, it would be the best way. You have to consult custom and etiquette in these things, you know, dear." " Y-e-e-s," said Mrs. W., with a sinister sweetness in her compliance. "Besides " he continued, as he carelessly took hold of the present's hand and began, stroking the present's brow in a gentle and fatherly way, " I don't really know if it would he safe to send it back at all. You see these foreign powers are mighty touchy, and I don't kuow but if I was to send this present back, and turn up my nose at it in such a way, they mi be mad enough to declare war ou the United States right off and massacre us all." " You would, would you ?" remarked Mrs. Wallace, in a voice like the lirst rumblings ol a rising typhoon. "\Fraidto 3end it back, are you, you bald-headed old fraud ? 'Fraid of international complications, are you, you old wretch? Now you can understand tin's, sir, and right now. If that present doesu't go back to that old beast that sent it iu less than ten minutes, I'll show you what kind of a Bulgarian atrocity you're married to I'll show you," she hissed, as she flew at the present, and inaugurated a panic in dry goods and half-pins ami Circassian squeals and male protests and finally hysterics, and Gen. Wallace called a camel and packed the pirl off at hot speed.

Then he went in and caught it—caught it so hot that he remarked to the Vice-Consul that sooner than no through the like again lie would see the whole continent bathed in blood, and the American eagle bombarded until it hadn't a piu feather to its name.— Omaha Bee.