MORE "HOWLERS."

Sun (Christchurch), Volume I, Issue 15, 23 February 1914, Page 5

MORE "HOWLERS."

ABOUT GONGS, COWS, & MONKS. Muddled knowledge among school 1 boys has seldom reached such a delicious pitch as in a "howler" quoted in the "University Correspondent." It is as follows: — Gong is the masculine of belle and vicar of vixen. Echoes of Sunday school treats are seen in— * The mineral wealth of a country is ginger beer and lemonade, and a smattering of modern topics had evidently been acquired by the young hopefuls who wrote:— An appendixes a portion of a book which nobody has yet discovered to be of any use. The flannelette peril means petticoat government. EDUCATED COWS. Oilier amusing howlers quoted include the following: —; Much butter is imported from Denmark, because Danish cows have greater enterprise and superior * technical education to ours. Finally James 11. gave birth to a son, and so the people turned him off the throne. After twice committing Cowper lived till'lßoo, when he died a natural death. The tropic of cancer is a painful and incurable disease. When Chaucer describes the Prioress as amiable of port he means that she was fond of wine. When the last French attack at Waterloo proved a failure, Napoleon turned, very pale, and rode at full gallop to St. Helena. The Mediterranean and the Red Sea , are joined by the Sewage Canal. Milton was called the father of English poetry because he was_ blind and his daughter did the writing for him. The Minister of War is the clergyman who preaches to the soldiers in the barracks. Woman's suffrage is the state of suffering in which they were born. A candidate for the Civil Service must be a neutralised British sub- . ject. The Immortal William is a phrase applied to the German Emperor. Julius Cgesar was murdered in the Cinema House. Milton wrote '' Samson the Agnostic." The circulation of the blood was invented by Martin Harvey. A problem is a figure which you do things with which are absurd, and then you prove it. People are vaccinated by being inarticulated with lint. A synonym is a word you can use when you don't know how to spell the one you first thought of. Before a man can - become a monk he has to have his tonsils cut. „ VERY FREE TRANSLATIONS. The collection includes the following translations: — Elle a les dents blancs.—She is wearing white kid gloves. Genae Puellae* f ormosae sunt. —Beautiful girls are cheeky. II ne faisait rien sans but. —He did nothing without a drink. Poeta nascitur non fit.—A nasty poet is fit for nothing.