THE Critic

NZ Truth, 15 March 1924, Page 1

THE Critic

The possibility of Prohibition ln Scotland may be a joke, as one writer said the other day. It wouldn't be tho first that the Scot would not Bee. This time he would be excused. . :: :: :: The politician has one advantage over the criminal. The criminal can't change his convictions. :: ix xx M. Grabskl, Polish Minister of Finance, has a decided advantage if he decides upon a capital levy if names I count for anything. :: :: :: If you are planning a new house under the Massey scheme of 95 per cent, advance, don't worry about providing rooms for your children. They will (if they are equally unlucky) be married and planning homes of their own long before yours is built We occasionally hear of Government Departments being caught napping. However, the discovery does not cause insomnia. The birth-rate is again causing discussion. No doubt necessity is the mother of prevention. <

The big bugs p who fear Labor talk of flealng from the wrath to come. Don't be Bat on — stand up Each political party thinks it will win m the long run. There are no signs of a walk over. Comparisons are odious. But wedding notices are better than beauty awards. A little worry m advance often saves a lot afterwards. No woman is long Idle if she has her vanity case with her. Petrograd, Leningrad, Undergrad. All full of mischief. Some waitresses ARE fetching. Others make you realise you are waiters. According to the farmer the only thing" he gets a good crop of is troubles. Some people attain happiness by

decrees. vs.. : Wonder If an eleventh Commandment would improve things m America: "Thou shalt not accept bribes." There would be a slump m palm-grease. i: * : • i The aviator is one man "Critic" has no desire to be asked to share his last drofy with. 7 „ t: xt Cables report that a man m London died while having his first bath for forty years. At last we have something tangible to support the protests of the kiddles who object to being washed. Sign at Paeroa Junction: CARRIER AND CONTRACTOR. Of nothing. Infectious "Critic" hopes. Apropos' this controversy about women attending prize fights: Aro women more interested m hats m the ring than m hats m the Bhopwlndow I XX xx xx "The motors m New Zealand run Into hundreds of thousands." writes the motor column specialist of a daily paper We knew tho number was high. Thank goodness they are not all killed. »: ••'• ,l "His own opinion of prisoner was naturally brutal, and became worse when under liquor." — Dally paper report of Mr. Justice Reed's remarks. Tut, tut. When buying eggs you pay just as much for tho bad as for the good. But If your grocer should Include a china nost egg In your purchase — well, you can't beat that. : : ! t t J In justice to some confirmed cigarette smokers who are accused of not taking any exercise It should be pointed out that they do roll tholr. own cigarettes. Don't throw away anything yot don't want. Save it up for the nexi jumblo sate and you may be rewarded with a vote of thanks. Should girls devote so much time tt vigorous sports? asks a writer ln a daily paper. "Critic" is inclined tc think that thc vigorous sports will answer "Yes." Tho man who lives on interest usually takes no interest In anything else. Tho man who lives without taking any interest ln anything Jfl usually unii-u-reatlnjr to anyone who has Interests. "Critic" ls Interested m everything.

"Another Lynching m America." Teßj Russia has no monopoly of Reds. Privacy: Not available m modern business while the Income-tax Commissioner has supreme contr6l. It Isn't always the hard-worked man that complains of being over-worked. Daily paper records that H.M.S. ' Chatham has "arrived at Blenheim." . It ls understood that Kaiapoi and Foxton have put m claims for a visit. A prominent brewery boss declared the other day that Labor must be „ put m its place. Labor's troubles about that Retaliation Is simple. It's an easy thing to down beer! :: xx xx Woman's sphere: the Earth. Woman's fear: the mouse. It wouldn't bo so bad if everything the farmer requires or sends to market were carried free on the railways so long as the farmer make 3up the , deficit on the cost of running the railways.

True, mistakes will ' happen — but not to the wise man if he can prevent them. t: :: There -is nothing like maintaining dignity and control. Look at the traffic constable! The man who advises you to forget your troubles has probably never had any. All "that titters , Is not old. Sliding - panols m ballot - boxes are much less deadly than bloody revolutions. :: ii Nothing surpasses a love for • the Truth. Some bands that don't believe m dance music: sedate husbands. That old motto:' "Stand on your own feet" ought to be posted all over our tram- / cars. :: :> Isn't It time that Borne of these businesses that aro being wound•up were wound-..-.9

That report In a daily paper thai a new place of entertainment m Wel« llngton would be a "hug picture thea« tre" was not necessarily incorrect Most of them are like that. :: :: :: Football clubs* annual meetings are being held. It should not bo overlooked that tho wealthy men In the village make worthy presidents and vlce-pre-sidonts. Don't complain when your wife is away and the daughter is m charge that your house is miss-managed. !i :: :i Experimental stations are all right except to the bald man who finds eaoh barber wants to convert his head into one. :: :: :» The woman who thinks she could rule tho country better than any of the politicians often forgets to keep up supplies of some essential household commodities. :: :: :: Time does not Improve the value of wedding presents — not In the opinion of most women. If the presents aro of negotiable value they no longer exist When the oil lease investigation ln 'Murka has ceased there will be a few scratchings for tho Political Stakes. It ' pays better to scratch sometimes. i: :: :: Income-tax Department officials \ should do well if they entered for the next harriers' race. 1 t: >: ii 1 The boss may smoke a fat cigar, chew the end, look serious and frown impatiently at callers, but he can't kid > his staff that he's not loafing. ; :: :: ri Cabled from Moscow that two leading Communists have been arrested for Haunting wealth In the faco of the , populace — Joy-riding with women In t fiower-decked motor-cars. Hinging I f hnndfuls of gold to gipsy girls at "Leningrad," lending a bank's money out at "trivial" interest, and engaging on the bank staff a Moscow ballet girl, i How doth tho littlo Communist > Enjoy tho giddy whirl, I And serve tho Proletariat In motors full of girl. How woll he mnkes the money spin At interest that Is "trivial" - And showers shekels nil around On Gipsy Girls convivial, i The banking problem now Is solved i (Deny it If you can, slrl) I If Buckloton can't do tho job Employ a Ballet Danuor.