THE SUNDOWNER'S SWAG.

Akaroa Mail and Banks Peninsula Advertiser, Volume 2, Issue 135, 2 November 1877, Page 2

THE SUNDOWNER'S SWAG.

"Aid! Assist! Alleviate!"

An Appeal.

"Charity covcreth a multitude of sins" we rend, arid delighted am I to find that some of us have been covering the naked deformity of our " many and manifold transgressions," by clothing"ourselves with charity "as with a garment." The subscriptions raised on the Peninsula in aid of the Indian Famine Uelief Fund, are creditable to those who have given willingly, " not grudgingly or of necessity ;" but, how few have given in proportion to those who could give, without hurting themselves or tlie idol they worship, called Mammon. If so minded, how many could I not mention who, troubled with land-hun-ger, will spare nothing for their famishing fellow-creature" ; whose solo end and aim i.s acquisition without expenditure ; getting and keeping ; to whom the tenth coinmatidnioijt is no more than, a dead letter, and who.se miserable lives—for you can '• go alone " that their lives are thoroughly miserable —are passed in amassing by greed, artifice, cunning, over-reaching, stratagem, and other questionable means that, which brings them no enjoyment, and which they cannot take with them. To these people, I would say, just for once try the luxury of giving! Giving is a luxury ; there is enjoyment in it ; the ,k still small voice of conscience " approves of it, and rejoices in it; it elevates, ennobles and humanizes the man who judiciously gives, "for sweet chanty," within his means, if any.of my numerous dose-fisted, avariciously grasping friends doubt my premises, let them try the efficacy of a donation in aid of the Indian Famine lie lief Fund, and I'll "plank my ily-blw\vn blanket" against a plug of "'Venus twist," that he, or she, will feel the better for the deed. " Blow me," if they won't! Pope knew something, and he wrote :—

" In faith and 'hope the world will disagree, But a.I mankind's concern is charity : All must be false that thwart this one great end."

I know it is no news to you, Sir, but I thought that some of the Mail's readers wo it l< I like to know that I have been "on the waliaby" again ; this time, thanks to pay received from you, sans swag and billy. Yea, Sir, " whene'er I take my walks abroad, how many"—Never mind, that's my business. Who did I see ? Ah ! that's just it, I saw Splathermn, the eminent cheesoist. out for 'an exploring expedition ; he had his wardrobe stuffed into a pillow-.«iip—which, by-the-bye, he saiii makes an excellent carpet-bag—was got up regardless of shirt-collar, neckerchief, and expense, and in his general turn-out looked, and doubtless thought himself, the genuine Cheddar article. He knew me, bless you ; wasn't a bit proud ; knew another vagrant that we stumbled across; introduced himself and cheese , ; pumped the other vag dry as to cheesy prospects, and then felicitated himself upon the superior company he had fallen amongst, and sotto voce gave it as his unbiassed opinion, that there is nothing like travelling for acquiring information, more especially as regarded cheese. Conversation, and the train in which we were in, glided smoothly for some time, when a remark was made that it was worth the extra money to travel first-class, as one met people of a superior kind, and pleasanter in other ways. A sudden change came over Splatheruin, his face was the colour of his carpet-bag, in the innocence of his heart, and the pride of onr company, lie had recklessly thrown away the price of a cheese —he had got into a first-class carriage with a second-class ticket. Wasn't he ■glum after that? Didn't the advantages of our company diminish when the ■ guard made him "shell out, and, oh, curds and whey, hasn't the unfortunate cat been whipped ever since!

1 Men are the sport of circumstances, when The circumstances seem the sport of men."

Exactly, Mr "Ratepayer." Just the thing I wanted to know, and, hoping - I don't intrude," I, with you, ask, "is the Road Boa I'd still in existence?" For some time I have heen in doubt as to the board being a living reality. I have missed the clarion sound of the board's trumpeter ; I have more than missed the energetic seconder's eloquent silence ; I feel a void which only the musical .strains of Ufaestro ye Piper can adequately till, and, Benjamin, I weep tor you. Like the king of nursery rhyme fame, I fancy that the major part of the business now done by the board is "in the counting-house, counting out their money." A pleasurable

employment doubtless, but not the thing suitable to tlie wants and requirements of the district, ok in any way tending to its advancement. Money was meant for circulation, not to be locked up. It is a truism I'm telling you gentlemen of the board, and, so common atruismisitthat, I am surprised yon "show, by your hoarding propensities. Unit yon are'ignorant of it. Look around you, gent'emen, there are plenty of places j where a little judicious expenditure would be a downright public good. Shall I tell you where ? No, on .second thoughts I think I will not. A bad system has crept into your way of doing business ; you wait for people to ask you to do works, mid point out to 3*oll the requirements of different localities'; this should not be, I contend it is altogether wrong, it is your duty t.o initiate works to liud out what most urgently needs doing, and to do it ; to be active in having small repairs attended to before they become " sloughs of despond," and, above all, whilst you have funds to keep " the ball " of expenditure "rolling," without heedlessly rushing into extravagance. " Who does his best his circumstances allows, Does well, acts nobly; angels could no more." I rather /ike the idea, which was recently ventilated by a paragraph in the Mail, of exhibiting specimens o£ the art of darn, patch, sew, knit, hem, tat, crochet, &c, at the Horticultural society's proposed show. For my part, I hope special prizes will be donated by those interested —and who is not ? The bachelors—l am among them—should come out strong in prize giving. Any way, I mean to set them the example, by offering a prize for the best white shirt, to bo cut out and made by exhibitor. Say. boys, don't be beat by a shady customer like me, this kind of thing is for your good. You can " table your coin" that the best seamstress will not make the worse wife, and the lady who takes the Sundowner's prize will be an acquisition that some of your months will water about. Ladies ! Dear Ladies! Not bad that for me, Jack—l mean it! Do compete for my prize ; never mind if the donor is a disreputable vagrant, quite as bad as I have amended ; then why not I? Beside. I may "change my condition," and, who knows, marry some (one) of you! I'm open to an offer, that is- I mean to say—l—ah—hem—you know— confound it all—" Venus," how do you say that sort of thing ? Give me a " china egg-cup" full of your experience ! "Clothes-pea;"me if I am not "cut up and mixed." "Sigh no more, Ladies!" I repudiate the idea of the rhymester who said your ttr ughts were all upon :— >l Dresses to sit in, and stand in, and walk in; Dresses to dance in, and flirt in, and talk in; Dresses for breakfast, and dinner, and ball; Dresses in which to do nothing at all. Adieu.