Our Live Letter Box

Camp News (Northern Command), Volume 1, Issue 16, 16 August 1940, Page 3

Our Live Letter Box

POM-POM. “Kiwi,” Trentham, writes: — < If it won’t land you old rogues in prison (though you ought to have been there long ago), what can you tell me about the multi-barrel pom- . pom guns used by our warships ; against enemy aeroplanes? Answer: They’ve got eight barrels, fire 480 2in. shells a minute, and are known as “Chicago Pianos.” Beat it, boys! the cops! ***** ADOLF THE MAGGOT. “Sandy,” Fort ——, writes:— How about this? to be sung (preferably by Arthur Askey, to the tune of “Big-hearted Arthur)”: “Adolf the Maggot, they call me: Two-timing chiseller, that’s me, Dancing each night at the opera, „• .v Living on carrots and tea. Herman, my right-hand man, fat as two pigs, Tries to exterminate all of the yids, Sing the Horst Wessel, and bomb a few kids. Adolf, the Twister, they call me: Two-timing Hitler, that’s me!” <: Answer: We want (THEY say) a new marching song. Most of the ones we’ve seen so far strike us as maudlin drivel. This, in our opinion, comes near to ringing the bell. And, by the way, congratulations with a faint raspberry for not having done it before. * * ♦ ♦ PETROL ECONOMY. . “Aero,” N.Z.R.A.F., writes: — I notice that many motorists are . still driving, at very fast speeds and . it may not be realised that this is very • costly in fuel consumption. ./

For instance, a car which will do 30 m.p.g. at 40 m.p.h. will only do 24 m.p.g. at 60 h.p.h. At speeds below 40 m.p.h. a proportionate saving is effected. -Actually, you will find cars that pass you at high speeds don’t get there so much before you anyway. , I’m sure that many thousands of gallons of petrol can be saved if motorists co-operate, and realise that excessive speeds only waste fuel. Answer: We fancy that motorists are going to grasp eagerly at any straw which is going to keep them, as it were, afloat on a shrunken, shallow trickle of petrol. And. to think that it’s taken a war . to get speeds reduced to a reasonable extent. * * * ♦ DISTANT VOICE. ‘Fair Dinkum,” Coast Battery, writes: I can’t help admiring you people for the calm way in which you are taking the war. We over here hardly know a war is going on, except for what we hear on the radio. -_ ’ Answer: Well, the shattering roar of official announcements, the deadly rattle, of eye-witness accounts of damn all, and the thunder of red pencils in the Censor’s office do put a bit of strain on the old nerves. Still, grin and bore it is our motto. * * * * WASH YOUR? “Donald Duck,” Papakura, writes:— Is it, under the Defence Act, un- ! ■ ‘lawful for a civilian to treat a member 1 of H.M. Forces to a drink? r Answer: Not yet. ■