UNSPOILT CHILDHOOD.

White Ribbon, Volume 26, Issue 303, 18 September 1920, Page 3

UNSPOILT CHILDHOOD.

(By Nurse A. E. Chappell.)

Victor Hugo said: “The little child's heart: Look down into it; it is like the vault of a wild, wild flower; apparently tenantless, but full of little secrets secrets unknown to itself, secrets worth knowing, life’s capital. Sweet little vault, where Cod has linked up creation's destiny!" Alas! when one look:* at the majority of children, there is little* suggestion of anything like* the* al»ove arises to our minds. Why? The child lover asks, who finds it impossible to love the spoilt, selfish, loud-voiced, domineering average child. Seeing the children do not make or train themselves, one is obliged to own it is the parents' fault. Some have a vague idea that the child is an angel in embryo, and we must let them develop themselves without any guidance. Other parents have been ruled with a tod of iron as children, so they go to the other extreme, and do not control their children at all. Other parents are waiting until the child is “old «nough to understand" before they begin to train their child. Another type of parents seem a combination of the detective, always on the outlook for crime, and the Judge who passes sentence for the crime. Nay, we may say they emliody the third also, for they act the jailor, who puts the punishment into practice. Instead, the parent should realise he is the gardener, and the child is a rare and choice kind of plant committed to the care of the gardener. His work is to give the right environment, and to give every condition possible which will tend to develop the l»e.st inherent qualities in the plant, and to graft on any additional quality which will enhance its quality and value. How desperately parents need to be taught something of the psychology of childhood to prevent this terrible wastage of all that Is best in child life. They should he* taught, from the moment a child is born it begins to receive impressions which will mould its character. Previous to its birth it has been receiving impressions through the mother. Still further back. According to science, the elements of future* children are in an infant at birth, and all the thought and deed life affects those elements. Thus the father and mother

from their birth have been affecting those elements. No wonder we are told. “No* man liveth to himself, and no man dieth to himself." We are all interlinked—our brother-man and sisterwoman. If the young were taught these things in an acceptable manner, we would not hear so often. “I shall do as I like." "It’s nobody's business but my own." Its the business of the whole of posterity, and each one wil: have to s’and l»efore posterity's l*ar of justice, and secret deeds will come into the light for judgment. Though there are all these influences la*fore a child is born, yet the influences after a child is bom can be so powerful that the result from them may be* more apparent than the influences before birtth. In effect, Luther Burbank si >s that the child drinks in the environment by which it is surrounded as the flowers the dew. What a sacred trust to have an immortal soul given into your care! Picture the* white, unsoiled mind of a new-born child. It is made* for writing on. It is virgin soil. Whatever is implanted now will sink in deep, and will Is* retained while life* shall last. You are responsible to keep any enemy from writing things there that can injure. Write all you wish to bear fruit as soon as possible. It will sink in, and seem to die. It is only like the seed in the ground, whic h dies to liberatc* the life wifiin. So the truths and lessons impressed on the* virgin soil of a child’s mind. The very tones of your voice are recorded there from birth. The touch of your hand, if gentle and loving, or harsh and unkind. The echo will surely come hack to you in the years to come. There is no escaping the harvest from what you have sown in the child's mind. The* unconscious perception of the babe accounts for the cries ceasing when taken into -motherly, sympathetic* arms. Often have I taken infants who were crying from very impatient mothers, and the* cries have ceased. My heart bleeds for the tender, sensitive, child heart, whose parents, with loudvoiced and uplifted, threatening hand, pounce on some action of the child, and terrify him until he does not know what is truth and what lic*v Itecuusc of the* fear of that hand descending on bis tender, liule Itody. Such parents manufacture liars wholesale. The* days are surely passing when we imagine

brute force can bring u unde (standing to the child mind. It is the parent's bounden duty to make sure the child understands what ho wishes his child to do; to express his wishes in the way that would have helped him to understand when a child. Let uii learn to understand children by recalling our childish days, and the- perplexity which sometimes tilled our minds when our parents thought it wilful ness or deliberate disobedience. Remember, there* is good and l»ae| in the child, and you can call forth which of the two you desire. Every time you call forth obedience you are making it easier for your child to l>% obedient in the future*. Whatever you call forth is confirmed in your child, and that side e)f his nature you allow to lie* dormant will die out for want of exercise. No parent is fit to correct his chile! for a fault until she is master of herself. Punishment, if ever ne*e*elee| —I believe it is rarely needed if a chile! is hanelleel right from birth nnist not Is* the out come of temper, and used as a vent, as too often is the* case; the child being punishes! according to the* amount of te*mpe*r in the* parent, anel not the* ele*. gree of transgression in the child. It should be chosen deliberately, with the e xpress thought of developing the* character; not with the vindictive spirit of tit for lat. Merc* retaliation, which much punishment of children is. ought to he* bene*ath the dignity of parents. Often, while children are little, parents treat them as playthings, anel laugh at and encourage the very things they will punish them for later. 1 have often liearei therr. say, “I’ll take* it out of him presently." How utterly ignorant of the* real facts they are showing themselves to he. How can something be? taken out that has been woven into the* warp and woof of the mind? It can never be taken cut, and it will take infinite care to cultivate some trait of character to counter-balance it. Never was it so imperative as now that children should have right principles developed within them. This is the only way to enable them to withstand the evil which surrounds them on every hand. It is absolutely impossible for children of any class to In* kept from coming in contact with evil sooner or later. The only safeguard is to give pun* knowledge of their own bodies in an inspiring and ennobling manner, so that evil will not find a vacuum in their

minds, thus providing a lodgment. If there is no affinity within to respond to tlie evil, it will fall off without finding a lodgmeAt. All normal children ask questions about the marvels of any new life. S. Stall says in his book. "Parental Honesty": "The child who does not ask questions you may well doubt Ins mental capacity. An idiot will not inquire. If parents would study these facts of life from such hooks as "Towards Racial Health." by Norah March. jiiml the Imm>k by Thompson and CJeddes, tln,y would know how to express these things in language delicate and pure. .IK) nut lx* like the ostrich and hide your head in the sand when you think difficulties are coming. Hreak down the Ikitriers l>etweon you and youi children. With your older children especially you will only do this by gi\ing confidence for confidence. Above all. hold tin highest ideals constantly but brightly and Joyously before your child's mind. Some people have talked to me of good things in such a dull, unattractive tone, I have almost hated flic good because it was made drab and unattractive by the tone used. Impress upon your children in a bright and hopeful manner what you want them to become. Make a vivid, mental picture in your own mind of what you want them to become. Hang on to it. Keep it clear and vivid. I>e. scrilie it to them until they get tP picture in their minds also. Inspire vhem to believe they possess the power to make it materialise. "All things are possible to him that believeth. Faith sets forces to work, even in the ma terial world, we do not understand. The last thing at night leave an inspiring and lieautiful thought in your c hild's mind. The subconscious mind will work on that all night, and your child will wake- with the fragrance in his mind in the morning. The romance of understanding parenthood is the greatest and purest of human life. Well may one* writer give the following:“As mother my dignity is supreme, for I am seulptreaa of the race. The architect of humanity. My bc»dy is the temple, the holy of holies, wherein are fashioned into indelible shape, for weal or woe. the children who are to conn*. My part is difficult, but I will not flinch. I must bo as strong as the* oak on tlie* bleakest hill, and tender and sweet and pure as the flower which blooms in the valley below'. For free-

dom's sake I must be free, for 1 am Sculptress. Architect of Humanity, its Citadel, its C»ak. its Blossom. I am woman, mother and moulder of the* race.'"