I'LL HAVE SOME OF WHAT HE’S ON

Rip It Up, Issue 224, 1 April 1996, Page 9

I'LL HAVE SOME OF WHAT HE’S ON

A few aftershocks/afterthoughts about the Bjork concert: It was an amazing supersonic experience. Lotsa beautiful people (yes, you are!) there; hip, cool, fresh-faced, funky kids. Oh, well — stick a blowtorch up my butt and call me Pete Montgomery. During ‘Army of Me’, 500 volts of electricity passed straight through me, and it wasn’t ‘Army of Me' I was hearing, but Beethoven’s ‘Ode to Joy’! I imagine Bjork and Beethoven would have got along really well together. Ludwig Van B used to smash up other people’s furniture and Bjork is prone to attacking pesky reporters, while both wrote/write really good pop songs.

I think Stanley Kubrick should remake 2001: A Space Odyssey, with Bjork in the space pad, sailing through the stargate singing her version of ‘ltsy-Bitsy, TeenyWeeny, Yellow Polka Dot Bikini’. And some TV exec-producer, PR type person should offer her a guest star role in Hercules, the Legendary Journeys, so we can get her back to New Zealand asap. And also, Bjork could out-spunk Kevin Sorbo — no contest. It’s no mystery why kd lang wants to smear glycerated honey and yoghurt over Bjork’s silky beautiful body. '““’ ~ 7 Anyone at the concert who has not fallen in love with Bjork is most likely suffering from bi-polar occlusion and should have a brain scan immediately. Thank you! John Merrick Jnr., ‘The Elephant Boy’, Wellington.