SLAG: ELVIS ISN'T DEAD – YOU ARE!

Rip It Up, Issue 165, 1 April 1991, Page 30

SLAG: ELVIS ISN'T DEAD - YOU ARE!

e . _ELVISSLAG says:CAßEforyour _ COMMUNITY. Teach o STAMPREADER how foDANG o . HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!Wsso %‘K@“w,“%.\wm“?o& _ FUNNY! HA HA HA HA HA! More Issues! _ LAUGH? FUCK DID! HAHAHAHA _ HAHA! Whot WIT! What SATIREI Dovid _ McPhail? HA HA HAHAHA! Where dothey gettheir CRAZY IDEASfrom?EACH _ OTHER?HAHAHA! MySiDESare =~ _ McPHAIL? He's just like JOHN CLEESE—- | LAUGHING _ LAUGHING so HARD Iwonder whyhe | doesn'tjust,youknow, FUCKOFF2But that's just ME HEY DAVE, do the one about LIFEINSURANCEforusagaint = T “"%*wfi?’@%@fim&w&@mmw«*Wbé*w»t«we’““ag . ONCEuponaTiMEatthe LOVELY HOME of PUSH PUSH guitarist SHANE (thymes },&:‘ of PUSHPUSH guitarist SHANE (thymes | withßßAlN)the INMATES Re S R e e sittingoround watching TELEVISION. - gmdeggefiwmfi‘!mm@%@fi eet s i s s e FRPS Ry duringthe AD BREAK ond says: "Gee, it must have been REALLY DIFFICULTtoget those PENGUINS to carry BAGS of POTATO . CHiPSundertheir WINGS.,." = oo . CHlPSundertheirWlNGS.,,” = %}»vv'vk%‘é«@ififia'&’v’m%,f’”?i“,v"fi'j&f%Z%’i”j‘x’%éfi-fimfi?wfi?%}“?g%, _ SHOCKIHORROR! SWEARWORDS! Andthatsjustinthe OFFICE. Yes READERS itis TRUE. Last week our PHONE | _ wosRINGING. RING Soour _ LOVELY RECEPTIONIST _ “Uh.. hello Ribidup,” says our LOVELY _ RECEPTIONIST who is os usual SPRIGHTLY | . ond CHEERFUL after MINUTES of SLEEP. | HEVsaythecaller.FUCKUZEE . 'RIGHTON! saysourlovely =~ e

_receptionist, ‘WANNAJOB?® _ BUTNO. Our LOVELY RECEPTIONIST had _ What the coller said was: “FUCK NPT R WA A e o YoutoosEE R “SORRY,"explainsourlovely receptionist, 'DONNAISOUTATTHE MOMENLEE B _ WHOcouldthe ANGRY BawAML e fiél g?flm %semmysfim&mm %i«g | OTHER THAN drum DOMONIC ROCKOFTHESOs;ROSKROWH ;?@t(cfizéWWA vxv»vw mfi%fi%{gfi;& - é’%f@;, ‘g} | (Cusdudiencoscrenms: | . __ DOMONICROSKROW! FASTER thane - JOMONICROSKROW!FASTIRthana NURSE. MOREPOWERFULthan COLIN. HOGGonan ALLMEATDIET. Able o LEAD gy I SRS e e S i 1o WRONG CONCLUSIONS SINGLE BOUND! DOMONIC "KICK ME” ROSKROW! __ But WHY was he ANGRY? Was it because _hisBUTTHOLESURFERS reviewwas =~ _GUOTED in RlßlDUPmagazine? =~ (QUOTEDIn B/DUPmagazine?. o aeehidinegs e P ST AR R WA S g ala Surfers, WHY didhe TURN _SECOND BUTTHOLES CONCERT thenext SECONDBUTTHOLESCONCERTHhenext _night with o FRIEND and DEMAND to be et ammwaeiiaae s infREE2. ElViSwanistoknowWHY, = . _ Welcome fo ELVIS'S KIDDIE KORNER. This _ Welcome to ELVIS'S KIDDIE KORNER. This %fiwmew,‘flwg week: MAKE YOUROWN TALLDWARES vy L _Youwillneege LAdothespes, @~ fi“;Aé@tfiem.%%fii*fiwfiv’?@j&%‘é’%fig«%gg{ 2.3omesongs (skmumordodiohelp). 4. lotsoftimebecouse Aleclivesink =~ e

_ GAlistenercolump, . ThatslTkids. GOOD LUCK. . »&%W@;;W% i %K;«s‘% &%mw& i Mé\‘* E%’?‘%w?% NEWSFLASH: STRAITIACKET FiTS have : sw@%é*%.’ogwmtdu%*?m%%viwb%‘i m%fitmm HEARD COUNTLESS TIMES being TALKED - ufs(%%& %3&}3’ i e _ ABOUTinthe UNIVERSITY CAFEhas i”: p . kfi%x%%%?wgg‘&fi%;fiiwm&.w(w{’&% fi&“&g@&mfifimm@ m : flfi :m fi - ?o . %&w&fifig,sfi 7"B{l«%’%‘*& g "“as*mwé’%is’ “,&”ew%fw”fi‘ v% S & -_V_._.‘-:-I: Y g ‘ : .I:I::'::i:h):::. : &g hodINTEGRITY, SOULand MORE = R M A B R »;;25:_,\.5;.:-:1-:‘5"" é& ) %s‘mmmgfimxffiigxz%@; . immkmm e @ i ITy g o @{% %‘fi K%M{& . B w"%\\’&@ ""‘* . iow mNfi%fi . _InOTHERWORDS, they WONTBEANY _ GOOD. They will go SOFT. Their NEXT - olbum WILLNOT have that RAWLIVE _ GUlTAßsound.The LOVELYSHAYNE =~ hisLYRICS being SUNG by GIRLIES with LONG BLONDE HAIR waving CIGARETTE %’v:a‘b Akmm wg &Gx. oq@%’*%%%/z _ FREAKPOWERarea BANDwhohave mwmamwf«mgm _ WELIKETHEM. Recentlyinthe time-honoured tradition of theBAND weregoingloPUTONa _ CONCERT(or“GiG"asyoung _ DOPE-PEDDLING kids of TODAY have come 1o CALLTHEM). But WHAT could they CALL theCONCEE 000 SUDDENLY the LOVELY DRUMMER has IDEA, "Letus CALL the concert ‘CHASING %:the = w’;“ ) g < e ?’5%3'& "?Let e

. _ PUSSY'" shesays. “Haha, itiso JOKEyou | _But WAIT, The OTHER MEMBERS of FREAK w“‘*‘.s”wgwak Wmeuggmm&fim R G 6‘-‘& L::. - g’fimwmfimfim¥ ;;“Mififi%mmfiifi ‘ _Sothe LOVELY DRUMMERistoIdNO. _ GOOD.TheNEWAGEhasNOPLACEfor ‘ _ WIMMINwith o SENSEOfHUMOUR, pw“ii:“",h«g msw%w _PUSHPUSHfime AGAIN. ONCEUPONA yx&wym aw“y‘%&%@ “flfl B“’"é%wgfi mefi& %‘%}m " ’N” ygfi Qmwfp«;%‘ Mg« C“8 Vfi Eo{ i % PAIR of SHORTS that EXPOSED his LOVELY LEGS, How PRETTY helooked. Justike %m %ffim&m i‘”,menzs:'fl“ _ JULiAROBERTS. 0000 ' i'i?fm%"figt%mmm theaudience. Sohe DID. Andthenhe RAN . through the audience, SQUEEZING PAST _ thoseSWEATYBODIES, _ BulTHENoneof the LOVELY theaudience REACHED _ And GRABBED exactly TWO THINGS. And _ BOYdidsheGRABTHEMHARD. _ 'OW"SHOUTSthelovely leadsinger s\"‘?%\«“’ “‘lhme fifif&e 9%‘?%‘”? 4 3’5&%“%&:0% overhis MICROPHONE. Butthe LOVELY GIRLIEGIANOTIeI GO, SosomeROADIEShadtoMAKEHER, HOWthe roadies did this is NOT KNOWN. | Butwhat we DOKNOW isthot the LOVELY ssflmfl}wfa&wkmfiflw LITTLE WHILE before he could SING AGAIN. i _ ButWithoughtitwouldmokehis _ LOVELYSINGINGBETTER. =~ Hvisstee @ miwsthe%?m i s