BATMAN

Rip It Up, Issue 97, 1 August 1985, Page 10

BATMAN

'ARRY

| Batman and Robin go to the pub ... | i' w 11 I ‘‘Gee Batman, I hope crime In Gotham pity picks up now that the notorious egghead Grigfps coming back to town.” "No doubt it will, Boy Wonder t - especially with No Tag waging at the airport.” 1 4 Holy Doc Martens, Batman do you think we'll see a few biff, sock, kapows in Customs?” "Most probably Robin, but not nearly as many as last month when we were called into catch the Penguin Corless and his sidekick Straw Brazier after they'd done that dine and dash at the Melba.” “Holy entrees, that was fun Batman. Did you see his face when they called Ratman scum and then nearly got asked to leave, and when they tried to make the fast getaway in that red Jaguar and a Morris Minor passed them on the motorway?” “Ha ha ha Robin. You know Robin, fraud is on the increase and we had better do something about it.” “Holy U2 Batman, does that mean we can go bash up Joker Luck and bring him to justice? And can we also bash up Catwoman Hay for endorsing boring old farts like AC/DC and . Creedence Clearwater Revival?” ‘‘That’s right Robin, and we’ll also go pick on Doug Hood for doing backing vocals on the only New Zealand single in recent times which hasn’t been Solid Lead. To the batpoles Robin!” Dada-dada-dada-dada-dada-dada ... (etc) “Look in the rear view mirror Batman, it's Clive Wilson, shall we pick him up?”

- “No Robin, he smells too much. After that Greenpeace concert all he can afford to eat is baked beans and his farts ®could probably Sink the entire navy let alone the peace S methane, Batman “Holy methane, Batman you’re right again!" So let’s check out Progressive Studios, that wellknown hangout of villains, and see if there’sany there to be nabbed. Batman and Robin speed along to the studio and find that as soon as they walk through the door they are imprisoned in what might become their coffin! Looking through the studio windows we see their fate ... A Not Really Anything video clip and Donny and Marie Urlich! Arrgghh! Guaranteed to bore them to death! Could this be the end for Batman and the Boy Wonder?! Does anyone know where they are?! "Quick Robin, let's check our utility belts and see of we can do something about it... shark repellant, no, the batarang, no ... ah, here we are Robin, perhaps we can avoid our doom with this tape!” “Huh? How dat Batman?" “Well if we can play this Netherworld Dancing Toys single at them as many times as the radio stations play it we might just have a chance!” After 50 plays of the tape Batman and Robin emerge from the studio and don't even need to hit their opponents because they're asleep. “Quick Robin, let’s take them to jail and then go and apprehend the staff at Rip It Up for substituting ‘Arry’s last column with a motorcycle tyre advert!”