A Complete Story

New Zealand Tablet, Volume LI, Issue 28, 2 July 1924, Page 11

A Complete Story

A (By A. P. Garland, in the English Review.)

“Says Sergeant Murphy”

abolishing WORK. “Funny what that professor chap said in the paper,’’ remarked Meddle, as' he swabbed down the bar counter. “Sure, they’re funny birds—profissors,” , replied Sergeant Murphy. “Which particular profissor was it?” “I can’t remember his name, but he says that they’ll shortly be able to run the world with an atom.” “An atom of what?” “An atom of nothing. Just an atom,” asserted Meddle. “They’re all experimenting with it, and any moment they’ll discover how to handle it and one country will be able to blow another sky high in a second.” “Won’t that be a grand war,” said the Sergeant, “provided we get in the first blow? Up Guards and atom.” * “That’s not the lot,” continued the landlord seriously. “He says that the atom will do all the work, run all the factories, heat the houses and what not. Nobody’ll have to work more than one hour a day and ” - “I know,” said the Sergeant wearily. “We’re always on the verge of discoverin’ somethin’ that'll abolish work. .Wanst it / was to bo watherpower, thin electhricity,, thin radium in bulk, thin the rays of the sun concenthrated in a hand-mirrow, thin I dinna what — all the same eight-fifteen still sees me tearin’ down., the road every mornin’ with- me breakfast wedged crossways in me interior, and a prayer on me lips that some shunter hasn’t -taken offince at the features of wan of the directhors and called out the whole railway system till—the necessary altherations have been made. ; *

' , “That reminds me, Heddle. Have you heard "about Poplar as a home for : emigrants? You - haven’t? “ . ..“Well, talk, about Canada and Austhralia and the wan -v hundhred and sixty acres of. fertile land now. undher threes, and within five days’ reach of a railway, and the happy home that ye can build for —forget thim. Poplarthe Land of Plenty and To Sparebeats them all. ,U : . ■ . : ■■ ■: ■;- ; ... “The emigration agents are boostin’ the place. From all points of the compass countless hordes of, hopeful min are convergin’ on it, with their wives'and families standin’ by with their thrunks packed, awaitin’ the tellygram that says ‘ Come.’ Finns, Slovaks, Poles, Chinks, and others of God’s creatures, as they call thimselves, are campin’ on the doorsteps of British Consulates takin’ out naturalisation papers for Poplar. The applicants for every vacant flat, floor, apartment or roof in Poplar would, walkin’ four abreast, take twinty minutes to pass a given spot—unless it was a fried fish shop. The population of Poplar per square foot will be—— ” “Go on,” said Heddle. “What’s it-,all about?” “Here it is, Heddle. Ye’ll remember how poor relief was sarved out to the unimployed in Poplar be the Board of Guardians, as they were called in jest, for what they were guardin’ God knows! Certainly not the ratepayers. “The said Guardians were all min of ginerous impulses with outsizes in hearts, and they made the Good - Samaritan look like a broker’s man. 1 Hivensl’ says they, as applications for poor relief came before thim, here’s a case of John Posskoff. We’ve never seen, him before, but we can tell be his name that he’s worthy of thrust. Be thrade he’s a linoleum pavior earnin’ three pound a week whin he works. But if we give him that amount now he’ll bo no betther off than he was before, which would be a disgrace to Poplar. Besides, doin’ nothin’, he’s a lot of exthra time on his hands and he’ll want more money to spind. Make his little lot four pounds. And Johnson, he’s a biscuit-riveter. Find out what his wages ought, to be if he worked, and give him a twinty , per cent. peace bonus and wan for Iris nob. The same with Higgins. Let no man go away dissatisfied. We’re here to spind the ratepayers’ money and we’ll do it!’ “Of course, some narrow-minded chaps obejeted and the Government auditor wanted to surcharge the Board of Archangels responsible. But the other day the new Labor Ministher in charge gave the movement his blessin’ and Poplar blazed with tar-barrels that/night. “Atoms won’t abolish work, Heddle. Not likely. But if the Poplar Board of Guardians become a model for the other Boards,' work as a livelihood will be aiquil in popularity to casthor oil in a Communist convintion in Italy.”