Notes

New Zealand Tablet, 17 August 1916, Page 30

Notes

Andrew Lang on Advertising Here is a little allegory which is worth some study on the part of energetic and progressive business people. We hope the point—and the applicationwill be sufficiently clear to all who have a good article to sell and who know a good advertising medium when they see it. ' When a goose lays an egg,' sard Mr. Lang, ' she just waddles off as if she was ashamed of —because she is a goose. When a hen lays an egg —ah, she calls heaven and earth to witness it! The hen is a natural-born advertiser. Hence the demand for hens' eggs exceeds the demand for goose eggs, and the hen has all the business she can attend to.' Jargon and Journalese Sir Arthur Quiller-Couch, King Edward VII. Professor of English Literature in Jesus College, Cambridge, has just published a breezy book ' On the Art of Writing.' He is out to denounce the vague and woolly jargon which so commonly passes as English in these days, and he does it most effectively. All of us have read, and—horrible thought!some of us may even have written stuff like the following, which is ' Q's ' up-to-date paraphrases of Hamlet's famous soliloquy, 'To be, or not to be.' The jargoneer would have written Hamlet's soliloquy somewhat in this style, says Sir Arthur : ' To be, or the contrary ? Whether the former or the latter be preferable would seem to admit of some difference of opinion; the answer in the present case being of an affirmative or of a negative character according as to whether one elects on the one hand to mentally suffer the disfavor of fortune, albeit in an extreme degree, or on the other to boldly envisage adverse conditions in the prospect of eventually bringing them to a conclusion. The condition of sleep is similar to, if not indistinguishable from that of death and with the addition of finality the former might be considered identical with" the latter: so that in this connection it might be argued with regard to sleep that, could the addition be effected, a termination would be put to the endurance of a multiplicity of inconveniences, not to mention a number of downright evils incidental to our fallen humanity, and thus a. consummation achieved of a most gratifying nature.' This is very happy, and is exactly the sort of stuff with which' our solemn dailies so often adorn their leading columns.

nr u .vr»»- iiuiiiui The Strand Magazine is making a collection ..of ' best war stories,' and though a good many' of them are merely old chestnuts revived, occasionally we come across a fresh one. Such, for example, is the officer's story of a cockney's wit: He was in a trench facing one held by Germans. The latter simply gave his men no rest, tormenting them in every possible way. The persecuted ones ached to go for their neighbors, and when the chance came they got a bit of their own back. During the skirmish the officer saw one of his men corner four Germans in a small yard. When calm had settled he asked'what had happened in that particular spot. ' Well, sir, you see it was like this: They all threw up their hands, so I shot two and then I hadn't the heart to go on- —I really hadn't, sir; so I bayoneted the other two !' * The following from Tidbits has a somewhat reminiscent sound about it, but even if it is an old one resurrected, it is at any rate worth preserving. A Burnley mill-owner's son" had been granted a commission in the Regiment. He was down at Aldershot for his training, and after a month was leaving to go to his regiment. On arriving at his new quarters to take up his duties he was met by a bluff old colonel, who, seeing his youth, thought he would try and puzzle him. He said, ' What would be your next order, sir, if you were in command of a regiment passing over a plain in a hostile country and you found your front blocked by artillery, a brigade of cavalry on left flank, and a morass on your right, while your retreat was cut off by a body of infantry V ' Halt! Order arms, ground arms, kneel down, say your prayers,' replied the young officer.