THE STRAIGHT TIP.

New Zealand Illustrated Sporting & Dramatic Review, 1 December 1919, Page 73

THE STRAIGHT TIP.

Racegoers who experience some difficulty in selecting winners during- the big holiday race meetings, owing to the diversity of the tips they receive will appreciate the humour contained in the following verses. It was a seven-furlong race, two hundred pounds the stake, Of runners there were only six, the choice not hard to make; My mind made up I started off with but one end in view, Which was to put a fiver down and trust in number “Two.” I’d hardly left the paddock when I met a trainer friend, “What! Number two,” he said, “Good lord, he’ll never reach the bend; Four furlongs, yes, he might get that, but after that he’s done, I’ve got the goods, sure thing this trip —get in on Number ‘One.’ ” He passed along, and to my side a youthful jockey came, I murmured “Two.” He shook his head, “You’re newish at the game. It’s we inside who pull the strings, don’t breathe a word,” said he, “But every moke that’s in the race is dead for number ‘Three.’ ” An owner whom I knew approached and gave my choice a smile, “No good to-day, his fetlock’s sore, he hurt it in a trial; He ought not to be running, and besides there’s something more, We’ve got a big thing on, keep mum, the winner's number ‘Four.’ ” I told a punter pal my plan. He muttered, “Don’t be mad; He’s bred to stay, a two mile race is more his mark, my lad. I’m working a commission on a ‘cert,’ so look alive, For in another minute you’ll hear ‘Evens number ‘Five.’ ” With muddled mind I stopped to ask a form expert , his view, He glanced around and whispered, “There’s no chance for number Two; I've worked the thing out carefully, and barring jockey’s tricks, There’s only one horse in the race, and that is number ‘Six.’ ” By this time they were at the post, I stood perplexedly, What should I back? when through the crowd my wife came hurriedly; “Oh, Jack,” she cried, “give me a note, I must back number ‘Two,’ You know my fav’rite color, and his jockey’s eyes are blue. So thirty pounds to five she took, just as the race began, And to the stand she led a very much bewildered man; Two minutes more, the race was won. Great Scot! it’s never true; But true it was, for on the board went up the number ‘Two.’ ” Moral. A trainer’s tips are little worth, a jockey’s tips are worse, An owner’s or an expert’s tips are not worth a tinker’s curse. The only tip worth taking when you go out to the course, Is the fancy of the woman who has never seen the horse.