Page 23 Advertisements Column 1

New Zealand Illustrated Sporting & Dramatic Review, 10 November 1910, Page 23

NEW ZEALAND HOTEL DIRECTORY. fatbonised by horssmsn cyclists. motorists, spobtsmxm. oommeboxat, n su vhlliib ■ AMD THE THEATRICAL PBOI’EUSjCI,

LAUGHTER IN COURT. A court-house in a certain provincial town stands near a common. During one of the cases that were being tried there, counsel was in the middle of his speech for the defence when a donkey outside began to bray. The judge, who was notorious for his wit, put up his hand at this juncture, and said to the counsel: “Kindly stop a minute, Mr. Blank: I am unable to hear two at once.” A little later, while the judge was summing up, the donkey again brayed, and the counsel, seeing an opportunity for revenge, stood up and said: “Would your lordship mind speaking a little louder? There is an echo in the court.” HOW, INDEED! Angler (new recruit to the gentle art, who is “flogging” the stream) — “Not splash so much? Why, bless you, if I don’t attract their attention how are the fish to know the beastly thing’s there at all?” — “Punch.” PLENTY MORE. A man who had been fighting got two black eyes. Next morning he met a friend, who exclaimed: “Why, Jack, where have you been? You’ve got two black eyes'” “That’s nothing,” he replied. “I could have got plenty more, only I had no place to put them.” IN THE LION’S DEN. The proprietor of a wild beast show, travelling the Eastern counties, recently made an offer of a silver medal to any local barber with sufficient courage to shave the tamer in the lion’s den. A knight of the razor, yearning for fame and glory, accepted the challenge, and, amid a chorus of cheers, entered the cage. Although the lion betrayed very little interest in the proceedings, the barber was obviously nervous, and, having lathered his man, made several nervous dabs at one cheek with the razor, keeping a weather eye on the wild beast. “Hold hard!” yelled the tamer at last, as he felt a fearful gash. “It’s too risky!” “I—l—l ain’t afraid! ’ stammered the shaking tonsorial artist. “There ain’t a 1-lion 1-living can scare me!” “’Course you ain’t afraid!’” bellowed the tamer, as he wiped his wounded face. “Anybody can see you ain’t! It’s me who’s afraid! I —l—l’m afraid of the barber!”

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