My Christmas Dinner.

New Zealand Illustrated Magazine, Volume 1, Issue 10, 1 July 1900, Page 17

My Christmas Dinner.

By Grace K. Gkey

Illustrated hj H. E. Taylor

<§gg> LOOK forward to Christmas DaySIH w^ es surprised delight at the 2i«s presents she has planned I shall givo IWf lier, is pretty to witness, while the wjm half-crown tie she saves up to buy $ for me is always becoming. A

smell of dinner makes the morning savoury and delicious. My wife and I dine tete-a-tete. Admiration compels rae to propose and drink numerous toasts in her honour. She laughs and looks charming. She tells me the things I said to her the night we were engaged, and blushes when I say them again. After dinner Brown and his wife and Scrimger and Mrs Scrimger come in. While my wife and my wife's sister are playing duets to the ladies in the drawingroom, Brown, Scrimger and I l'etire to my study, so-called because I smoke there. Over an afternoon pipe we talk of our selfish bachelor days. Those were days ! Brown, whose wife's mother lives with them, sighs at the recollection, and Scrimger and I hasten to point out to Brown that he is a better man since he put those days behind him. He is happier in a well-ordered home than in lodgings, where he may possibly meet evil companions, and have holes in his socks. If he has a little money it is infinitely wiser to put it on his wife than on a horse. By the latter course he may never see his money again ; whereas he may look at his wife's new spring bonnet for two and a-half hours every Sunday morning in church, provided the weather is uot too doubtful and the Simpsons have passed in their winter

tilings. When Serimger and [have finished telling Brown ;ill this — such is tins beauty of Christian oounsi'l —wo almost boliovo it ourselves. In view of so much qniet and profitable pleasure, consider my feelings when my wifo came homo from a Charitablo Aid mooting and, with tears in her eyes, beggod tno to forego my Christmas dinner for Little Dot's Hospital Cot Fund. Little Dot whs an orphan and a cripple. The prico of our dinner would buy her a pair of beautiful, warm, thick blankets. My wifo said wo should be gainers by the act of self-sacrifice, for wo would lead higher and noblor lives in consequence. "Think of it," urged my wife, pleadingly. "Little Dot is friendless and — without the blankets—homeless. A rich dinner, once eaten, gives only indigestion. Blankets will give Little Dot warmth and therefore pleasure through the cold winter months. It would be sinful to eat up so much lasting comfort and happiness." "If you put it that way," I foolishly began, for her eyes were wet, aud she liad on the red dress that I like. Sho kissed me, called me Dicky, and declared I was always her own old boy. She said our dinner would more than buy the blankets — there might be a trifloover for a doll and spring flowers.

" The turkey alone," she said triumphantly, "will save 8s — with accompaniments you can call it 10s ; hara and three vegetables briug that part to, say, 15s ; fcheu . mince

pies, one dozen, 3s; plum pudding with brandy sauce, 5s "

I hinted at a plainer pudding, and, by way of further saving, brandy sauce without the sauce. My wife ignored this.

" Strawberries and cream, two boxes, 6s ; fruit, almonds, etc, 6s ; total, 355. Thirty five whole shillings with which to make a fellow-being happy !"

I thought she had finished when she added, "Then there's the drinks."

" Giving does not elevate human nature like self-denial," she replied in the tone which makes things final in our house.

She told me several of our friends had fallen in with the unselfish idea, meaning their wives had. The Brown's Christmas dinner was to pay half the cofc. What the Scrimgers didn't eat would buy Little Dot a picture book. This struck me as a mean subterfuge on the part of Scrimger. Everybody knows a pictui'e book costs less than

" A little wine or whisky renders water wholesome in hot weather," I remarked.

" You drink beer and wine and whisky," my wife, replied, with what I thought unnecessary emphasis. " Call the drinks sixpence eaoh, you always have "

I interrupted. I dislike personalities. Besides, I had an idea. " Let us give Little Dot the spare room blankets," I suggested. " That will stop your Aunt Jane from coming to visit us, the generosity will make us holier, and it will leave the dinner alone."

My wife's expression showed me with what feelings she regarded the proposal.

blankets or half a cot, and I could see that Sorimger expected to sneak some dinner with the balance, thereby robbing the Cot Fund. I advanced this argument with considerable force, but my wife negatived it coldly. She doesn't know Scrimger.

I was cornered. I felt that the only dignified course left me was to turn nasty. With a disagreeable sneer I enquired if we were to dine on the smell of blanket.

"To spoil a good action by flippancy, James, is paltry," my wife said, reprovingly. " Leave the dinner to me — we shall not starve."

Many of my retrospections through life have been iempered with regret, but the memory of that Christmas dinner is one of the few things I look back on with unmixed feelings. We had Irish stew. My wife said the Cot Fund Ladies' Committee gave it their unanimous vote. Being a dish disliked by everybody, it made the sacrifice more complete. During the meal my wife dwelt on the beautifying effect of self-denial on the character. She said it elevated human nature. I tried to feel elevated. I succeeded sufficiently to ask for some lemon syrup, when the smell of the Simpsons' turkey brought me down with a run. My wife moved pieces of potato about her plate, and said she had never enjoyed a dinner so much in her life. I built a castle with my salt and trenched it with mustard. When the stew had removed itself (our servant refused to cook the dinner or wait table) boiled rice without raisins or jam appeared. I rose.

I said I liked boiled rice without raisins or jam so much that it would be sinful to eat it. I would take a stroll, returning in time for afternoon tea without cake or cream. The fresh air revived me somewhat ; it did more — it fired me with a worthy resolve. A feeling that Brown and Scrimger might not be loyal to the Cot Fund was making me unhappy. As a boy Brown did not go to Sunday-school, and I have known Scrimger tell an untruth when I asked him for half-a-crown. Ifelt it my duty to see that my two

friends did not debaso themselves by eating Little Dot's picture book or half her cot. I must confess it was a shock to me to meet Brown and Scrimger at the corner bound for my houso on a similiar errand. Their interference struck me as officious, and I told them so. They wanted to know what the devil I meant letting my wife instigate theirs to turn Christmas into a beastly hashhouse washing-day. I reminded them of tho beautifying effect of self-denial on tho character. Brown said he would bill mo for the dinner he meant to have eaten. I pointed out to Scrimger that he had been the means of bestowing lasting happiness on Little Dot. Scrimger said " Damn Littlo Dot !" We went into the " Empire " to settlo tho dispute. What happened after that I can never quite recall. I suppose I became faint or feverish — I forget which, but it doesn't matter. When I got homo that night my mother-in-law had been sent for. Much that passed between us is a blank to me, but I recollect pressing her to have some more blanket. She has nut been to our house since. Next morning I made my wifo a personal explanation. After some persuasive eloquence on my part, she. admitted that the heat and insufficient food might be trying to my naturally delicate constitution. Now, when we want to raise a sum of money by self-denial, we take it out of intended Christmas presents to our relations.