Our Funny Page

New Zealand Graphic, Volume XLIX, Issue 14, 2 April 1913, Page 72

Our Funny Page

The story is told of a young lady from the East who, seeing a fig-tie for the first time, exclaimed: " Why, I always thought fig leaves were larger than that.” •Yir I rankleigh: I have a nervcu- headache to-night. Miss Queeler: I've heard that music will cure anything of a nervous origin. Shall I sing for you? Mr Frankleigh: Oh, it doesn’t ache as bad as that.

"Have you ever learned to swim ?” he asked. “ Every summer," she replied. Mrs Reg-taff: Did your husband ever try his hand at sustained fiction? Mrs Percollum: Did lie? For al least ten years he's been trying V- mike me believe he likes my cooking.

Mrs Knicker: This book tells us whit to do before the doctor cornea. Knicker: And uiy cheque-book tells what to do after he comes. Benham: He called me a driveling idiot. Mrs. Benham: Well, don’t drivel. Little Lola, aged five, upon being shown her twin brothers that had arrived the night before, said: "Well, 1 never •aw ouch a woman as minima is for hunting up bargains!"—‘Chicago Daily News.” Friend: Why Jo you have such misspelt and ungrammatical signs in your front window?” Sharp Tradesman: People think I’m such a dunce, and come in to swindle me. Trade's booming.

A USEFUL NEW ADJECTIVE. t: .How do you get on with your new neighboars since you’ve gone to live in such a swagger Not very well—they're so fearfully eztiquettica!” Young Preacher: What is the best way to teach the Tea Commandments? -Old Preacher: If you have a congregation of poor, teach them as commandments; if middle-class, as requests: anl if rich, merely as recommendations. You must have had a terrible experience with no food, and mosquites swarming around you.” I said to the shipwrecked mariner -who had been cast away upon a tropical island. ”\oti just bet I had a terrible experience,” he acknowledged. ”My experience was worse than that of the man who wrote. "Water, water everywhere, but not a drop to drink.’ With me it was bite, bite, everywhere, but not a bite to eat.”

“ What,” she asked with a haughty sneer, " would the Carden of Elen have l»een without Eve?" ” Well.” he replied calmly, "it would probably have been quiet, lor one thing.” Crawford—l hear lie was operated on. What did he have t Crabshaw—Money.